A few weeks ago, I read this post by our friend Megan at Velveteen Mind, where she refers to watching shows like “Teen Mom” on MTV as “homework,” the research she does as a parent to young children in an attempt to prepare herself for what’s to come, for what it’s like to be a teenager these days.
So at Megan’s suggestion (and because I have been a sucker for MTV reality shows for about 15 years), I’ve watched several episodes of “16 and Pregnant,” and for the most part, I cannot believe my eyes.
For starters, I can’t believe the jackass-ery of some of these teenage boys, the “fathers.” Most of them range from mildly interested in their offspring from the hours of 2-4 p.m. on Thursdays to verbally and emotionally abusive a-holes. Take, for example, Adam:
What that clip doesn’t show is the text message he sends a few weeks later calling the mother of his child a “fat, strechmarked bitch” and asking her what he has to sign to get rid of his “mistake.”
How her father refrained from going to get his gun is beyond me.
I also can’t believe the ignorance displayed – in fact, that might get me the most. My favorite quote from the latest episode? “You can’t really prevent pregnancy.”
Yes, you read that right.
On other episodes, though, I can’t believe the strength and courage of the kids. The episode about Catelynn and Tyler chronicled the story of two teenagers who had absolutely nothing going for them in terms of a family life but had somehow managed to become mature and wise beyond their years. The love they showed for each other and for their baby as they arranged an open adoption by themselves had me in tears. They were amazing.
In short, this show is heartbreaking.
It’s emotional and hard to watch and should be required viewing for all parents and young teens. It is full of relevant explanations and information – it’s been an education for me, to be sure.
The number 1 takeaway I hope girls see? Advice mothers have been giving for centuries. “The girl is the one who gets pregnant.” And clearly, in many many more cases than not, the responsibility falls squarely on her shoulders.
Have any of you watched this show? What’s your reaction to it (or to the clips above)?
Unless there is dancing and the possiblity of Kate Gosselin busting her ass, I don’t watch reality TV.
American Idol doesn’t count since everyone on that show is completely UNREAL! (And that includes the judges…and what’s UP with Ellen’s eye makeUP?)
UP
I’ve seen several episodes and its fascinating and frightening at the same time. I do OB care for alot of teen moms and most of what you said is true. Some rise to the occasion and show real grace and maturity, while others terrify me. I had a 15 year old who had such a crush on one of our doctors that she “really really” wanted him to deliver her baby! She would hang out near the nurses desk when he was also in the office to talk to him and asked my about him ALL THE TIME! Every visit reenforced how young she was! Then I had another who had NO SUPPORT, boyfriend MIA and mother who “couldn’t stand all the blood” so she didn’t come to the delivery. I was the only person in that room who this girl knew, period. She is a fantastic mother and has her GED and is now in community college. And don’t get me started on the fathers! My favorite was the one who kept trying to watch Sports Center during the delivery, till eventually I got in his face and explained he better get focused or get out.
LOL, UP said ass.
I watch 16 and Pregnant, although I haven’t seen much of this season. Catelynn and Tyler…wow, they are so amazing…and I’d love to know how they are doing every couple of years.
That kid in the clip needs to grow up..and unfortunately, he won’t. He’ll probably always been that cocky little s*!t, who gets to do whatever he wants. I imagine that he won’t have much to do in his child’s life…ever.
I’m strangely addicted to 16 & Pregnant. Chelsea and Adam are actually from my area; I went to college in their town. I could not believe what an utter @$$ he was to her. I cannot wrap my mind around the idea that there are boys who are that callous and heartless and completely willing to shirk responsiblity.
I caught the last half of Catelynn and Tyler’s show and I turned into a blubbery mess. I am NOT the sort of girl who cries at TV shows, but that one totally did me in. Especially when the adoptive mother brought out the bracelets.
The other thing that stuns me, though, is the number of girl who truly have no idea what being a parent is about. They’re genuinely shocked that the baby is up all night, that they’re so tired, that it’s so much work. I’m far from an angel–I got pregnant out of wedlock at 23. Admittedly, I had a few more years under my belt than these girls, but even at 16, I don’t believe I was under any illusions about how much work babies are. A lot of these girls seem to truly believe that a baby is like a pet that you just tote around and tend to as it suits you.
I have seen a few episodes and recall Catelynn and Tyler. It is heartbreaking to watch. You just see how these kids are being forced to grow up way to fast. However, like Sky says, some of them will never grow up. It’s just really sad.
I’ve seen all the episodes of 16 and Pregnant, as well as Teen Mom. The second season seems a bit differernt than the first season of 16 & Preggers. Most of th guys in season 2 aren’t supportive or hardlt involved, I have a term for this but will refrain from posting it as i don’t wish to offend anyone. I’ve cried a few times watching these girls and families. I don’t have any kids yet but I do feel bad for these girls and hope that other youn viewers get a few messages from this, like: Don’t have kids until you have a plan- like when you are an established adult, preferably married to someone who is commited to you and the child; and life is hard whethere you ask for it or not and it’s incredable how strong you can become and get through the toughest things.
Catelynn and Tyler are truly heroic. I hope they are able to as well in life as they did with this decision!
I became addicted to the first season of the show last year when I came across the marathon of it one weekend. The show truly is an eye opener regarding teens and pregnancy and sex. It should be required viewing by the teenage age group to show that having a child is not all fun and games and happy unicorns every hour of every day. The women that absolutely drive me crazy are the girls that want a baby because they are “OLD” enough to be a mom and really just want a baby, but then expect their mom to babysit when they want to go out EVERY DAY!!!! If you want something to love get a freakin’ dog!!
I heard there’s a season 2 of the show. I may have to keep my eyes open for the weekend marathon so I can catch up on the drama.
I have seen every episode of 16 and pregnant and Teen Mom. I think it is a great show for current teenagers. They should have done it a long time ago. I am so amazed a the lack of support from the fathers. And I often wonder where the father’s parents are? Why they allow them to take no responsiblity and still let them live with them?? It is a shame that the girls are forced to grow up yet the boys just go on with life like nothing happened.
The last episode (i can’t remember their names) showed a much better representation of labor and delivery. I think more of that needs to be shown. That alone would scare a lot of teenagers. I think they also need to show more of in the middle of the night and no sleep too.
I am in love with Catelynn and Tyler. They are so cute and actually got it about having a baby and parenting. I have no idea how they turned out so well with the families they come from. I think Tyler is a GREAT example of what a good boyfriend is as well! That is what teenage girls should be looking for instead of the boys who put them down and make them feel like crap.
Anyway, I could go on and on about this subject. Great topic!!
I LOVE these shows. Actually, I’m a little obsessed. My fiance and I are planning to start a family fairly quickly after our October wedding, and I am a little obsessed with all things pregnancy. Like you said – it’s my homework, getting myself prepared. But you are right, this show (and Teen Mom) are heartbreaking. Some of these girls mature SO quickly during their transition to motherhood, others I seriously fear for their little ones. I’m glad I’m not the only one watching!
I’ve been hooked on this show since it’s first episode (shocking, I know). Isn’t it sad? What about the episode where the girl was in labor and her boyfriend tried to sit on the bed and got mad that she wouldn’t give him more room? What a joke!
I agree… Catelynn and Tyler had the worst family life, but somehow made the most mature decision!!
If you need recomendations on any other shows.. please let me know. 😉
I too watch 16 and Pregnant as well as Teen Mom. I agree with the comment above about season 2 being different. Except for the most recent episode, the boyfriends/fathers have been horrible to their girlfriends. Make no mistake, the most recent episode wasn’t an angel, but was much more supportive than most.
Catelynn and Tyler are wise beyond their years and still bring tears to my eyes. After giving their baby up for adoption, they did have a pregnancy scare, but hopefully have learned their lesson about protected sex by now (fingers crossed).
Having a neice who gave birth during high school and then committed suicide after finding out she was pregnant again, these shows pull at my heart-strings. If even one teen watching learns a lesson from the poor decisions by the moms/dads on this show, it’s totally worth it!
oooh, I somehow got sucked into Teen Mom too.
Catelynn and Tyler were immediately my favorites. Their decision to do what was best for their daughter despite all the crap that was around them was very commendable 🙂
Soooo glad I am not the only thirty something Mama also watching Teen Mom! I too have shed many tears over the stories, and over the poor, innocent babies who also won’t have an easy road ahead of them for the most part. Catelynn and Ty were my faves by far! That they were able to see how bleak of a future Carly would have had in a household like theirs is soooo commendable! I wish more of the teens would have done the same honestly. There are sooo many wonderful couples out there, unable to conceive on their own, that would give these babies wonderful homes and lives. That may seem harsh, but most of the teens were way too immature to be good parents. And don’t even get me started on the low life “sperm donors!” Ugh. They are young, I realize that, but seriously. Someone should have punched Adam square in the face after his nasty comments. Anyway, if this show makes one young person think twice about having sex, or even having unprotected sex, or enables them to choose adoption, it’s worth it!! Love it MTV, keepin’ it REAL!
Do you remember the John Prine song, “Unwed Fathers”?
What strikes me … episode after episode … WHERE ARE THE BOYS’ PARENTS?????? We wonder why the guys are such assholes … WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS? That baby is their grandchild and their are only a few episodes where the guy’s parent(s) are even somewhat involved. The boys are young and they are learning how to behave with their own parents’ behavior. It absolutely kills me. The girls’ parents are shouldering 100% of the stress, planning, finances and the “fathers” and their families aren’t around.
The episode you highlighted … besides wanting to physically HURT Adam … my heart totally broke for Chelsea. She was clearly emotionally abused by Adam and tried time and again to not piss him off. Uggg. I hope this show is convincing some teens to abstain from sex!!!!!