33 and Pregnant

You may recall that Emily is a wee bit obsessed with MTV’s hit reality show 16 and Pregnant.  I’ve only ever seen the Caitlin-and-Tyler-give-their-baby-up-for-adoption episode, which I must admit WAS quite riveting.

But let me tell you about the reality that is too crazy for TV!  Probably because it would make MTV’s audiences scream and run away in terror.  Or make people stop procreating altogether.

33 and pregnant, baby.  I am keeping it REAL.

Real grumpy. Real fat.  Real hairy-legged.  Real WHINY.

When I had Joshua I was 26.  Now I feel like I have aged about 70 years instead of 7!  My feet are killing me, my BELLY hurts, I think I pulled a non-existent stomach muscle hauling Sophie out of the pumpkin patch yesterday, I can neither sit, stand, nor lie down comfortably and oh, the peeing!  The near incontinence!  It’s purty sexy.

It doesn’t help that Jonah is apparently the reincarnation of the dancing baby from Ally McBeal.  He is all party, all the time!  And he is ripping up my insides!

So that’s the reality.  MTV ain’t ready for this jelly!  I’m sure I’d get cancelled after one episode.  Like this morning’s episode, where I decided to remove my month-old leg hair with VEET instead of a razor because SURELY it would be easier, less bloody, and quicker.   Well.  It WAS less bloody.  And my leg hair is GONE!  But burning the hair off your legs is no easier than slicing it off when you’re a gazillion months pregnant, unfortunately.   Unless it’s just me!  Oh, but potential viewers, you’ll never know!  And you’re probably better off that way!

One episode that IS a tragedy to be missed – even though there aren’t any profanity-laden fights with either my parental figures or my baby daddy in store, is the Grande Finale when Emily ties my tubes in the operating room after I give birth!  That is going to be EPIC!

You’ll just have to settle for the blogged version!

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16 Replies to “33 and Pregnant”

  1. I know you’ll get through this, just like you did with the other two, older or not. Jonah is worth it. Small price to pay for a miracle….;)

    Love you!

  2. ha!! I never was young and pregnant (my first was born when I was 31)… and while I carry my second and my 22-year-old SIL is concurrently with child, my mom tends to remind me, “You’re not exactly one of the ‘young’ mothers, Julie.” it’s a harsh reality. word.

  3. Oh I totally get it. After having the youngest 2, 10 months apart them memory is BURNED in my head. I gave up on shaving my legs I just went and had them waxed it was far easier and less painful. But I have to say the last time I saw you, you were a pretty darn cute pregnant person.

  4. Jenny thanks for making me giggle this morning:) I too felt a huge change from when I was preggo with Maddie to Caroline and it was only 2 years difference… something must change once you hit 30 and have babies:) Hang in there, only a few more weeks!!

  5. I couldn’t agree more! I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m over 30 now or that I have so many little people(3 kids 5 and under) who need my attention oh.my.heavens.right.this.very.minute.I.can’t.wait.one.single.second!!!!

  6. Haha! I totally relate. I’m 27 and due with my first baby in February. I already feel old and I know I’m really not! My boss had her child at 39 and it almost killed her. I hear you on the leg hair thing. I’m just glad I can’t really see my legs all that well right now and that its finally tights weather in Ohio!

  7. I can relate but I was 39 and pregnant with my son…. the neatest thing is that his Birthday is exactly 1 month from mine so…. when I turned 40 , he turned 1 month!!! Best Birthday gift I have ever gotten :o) This single Mom , I left his abusive Father shortly after he was born, wouldnt change a thing!!!

  8. I remember being in that same headspace – but I remember less each day, when I see my two-month old baby girl gazing at me so thoughtfully. Hang in there Jenny!

  9. you know whats funny folks…you read jennys post and try to imagine what she might look like or whats going on..but seriously- when I see her (almost everyday) she is BEAUTIFUL. Even without makeup!! (which I could never do, unless you wanted to turn to sand at the sight of me) The other part is that she always has this huge smile. I know it’s cheezy, but I am actually blessed every time I see her! She makes me remember “happy and joy”

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