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Can’t catch a break

So, last week, we had a good week in this house. It was Joshua’s birthday! And we partied! And I had tons of appointments. And everything went smoothly, including Joshua’s sleepover on Friday night and Sophie’s inaugural cousins sleepover at Emily’s with Kate.

But the week  before that…was horrible. Monday the kids had school off for MLK Jr. Day and they had spent the night at my parents. When I was on my way to get them, Sophie began puking at their house. And did about every 45 minutes for the next 10 hours.

Let's just say all that puking wore her out
Let’s just say all that puking wore her out

Oh wait! Let me back up and say, on Sunday night, while the big kids were spending the night at my parents, BOBBY got sick. My poor husband. It started with him. And he puked all night, slept til 11, and then got up and went to work because of course, he is out of vacation days (they turn over in March) and gets no “sick time”. Poor man.

So anyhoo, he and Sophie had the same thing apparently.Tuesday she didn’t throw up any more but she wasn’t well.

Upchucking every 45 minutes all day will tucker a kid out
At least this looks more comfortable

Wednesday she was well and back to school! HURRAH!

Wednesday night Joshua threw up all over his bed.

I managed not to get any pictures of him. Maybe because he only puked the once.

Sophie went to school Thursday and Joshua stayed home. But he never did throw up again.

BUT!!!  Thursday night, SOPHIE (are you getting confused yet?) puked all over her bed.

Friday they had a snow day. Sophie was a bit peaked but never did throw up again. Joshua was fine.

Until the middle of the night Friday night when he…PUKED ALL OVER HIS BED!

At this point, many midnight showers have been given, scores of laundry loads have been done, and literally hundreds of fishing cuss words have been said under my breath.

Saturday, all was calm.

Sunday, we went ahead with Joshua’s birthday party, but we moved the location to my parent’s house. It was great.

It led to a great week.

Which is why, I shouldn’t have been surprised this morning when Sophie woke me up at 5 a.m. to tell me that she had puked.

But bonus, people: SHE MADE IT TO THE TOILET! This week is already starting off on a positive note.

Except she also has diarrhea. Wheeee! And a rash all over her back, stomach, and neck. Bonus!

Happy Monday from Sophie. And her barf bowl.
Happy Monday from Sophie. And her barf bowl.

Happy Monday everybody! And you might want to keep your distance.

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Boys.

Sam, at the ripe old age of three and a half, has developed a new interest.

Potty humor.

He was playing in the sandbox at school last week, and announced upon my arrival that he was making “poop pie.” Today as we were driving home, I asked him what he had for lunch. His response? “Poopyhead!” I thought I didn’t hear him correctly at first and asked him to repeat himself – sure enough, “Poopyhead!” I said that wasn’t a nice word and I didn’t like it, and he said “It starts with an S so that means it’s not a bad word.”

Yeah, we still have some work to do on letters. And apparently also on logic.

As you may or may not have noticed, Jenny has no problem with disgusting topics (ok I have to stop linking to posts within the category “bodily functions” before I lose my lunch). I, however, prefer not to discuss such matters. I use curse words way more than Jenny does though so I’m in no way claiming vocabularial (I made that word up, but I like it) superiority – I just think it is revolting, and saying words that Jenny will freely title a blog post with makes me physically uncomfortable.

So anyway, what am I going to do with Sam and his new fascination? I want to make it stop!!!!

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This Just In: I’m Still 12

As I posted Friday, I had to take Joshua to the pediatrician because of a mysterious stomach ailment.  The pediatrician asked about a million questions and then said he needed more information, so he asked me to keep a poop and food diary on Joshua for two weeks.

That’s right, for the next two weeks, I have to look at Joshua’s poop and write down my observations about it’s size, color, consistency, etc.

I love being a mom.  Really, this is the stuff I’ve always dreamed about.

But back to the asking a million questions part.  The doctor asked Joshua many, many questions that ended in the word, “poop”.

Does it hurt when you poop?

When you’re eating, do you feel like you have to poop?

Is there any blood on the toilet paper when you poop?

PoopPoopPoopPoopPoopPoopPoop?

Seriously, after the first question, it was all I could do to not burst out in an ugly, raspberry-esque hysterical laughter.  I had to bite the inside of my mouth and stare down at the top of my son’s head to keep from losing control.

Because there’s something about a learn-ed M.D. saying the word “poop” over and over that brings me to the basest level of immaturity possible.

I couldn’t breathe for a full 30 seconds after he’d said his last “poop” for fear of losing it.  And, since I’ve made a fool of myself in front of this doctor over bowel movements before, I really did not want to lose control.

But I was thisclose.

So, I think my much more solemn and mature husband should attend the follow-up appointment, don’t you?  Because since it is going to involve careful examination of aforementioned poop diary, I don’t think I can be trusted to hold it together.

What makes you giggle like a pre-adolescent boy?

(P.S. – POOP!!!! Made ya laugh!)


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