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Again with the Hormones

So I hope you are not tired of hearing about my hormones yet. I mean, I’ve given you all a good break since this post so you should be rested and refreshed and ready to ride another roller coaster with me, right???

RIGHT??

Ok then! So, I have an appointment with my OB-GYN on Thursday and I have never been so excited to go see her in my life because I am not feeling really swell these days. For funzies, I decided to take an online test and see if I might have a hormone imbalance. Let’s just say I score pretty HIGH. In each category if you checked 2 or more symptoms, you might have that disorder. In one of the categories I checked SEVEN boxes and in another I checked FOUR. A third type of disorder was listed as “a combination” of the two I had checked so many boxes in.

I accidentally tweeted my list of symptoms last night (oopsie!) when I was working on this, hey sometimes things get copied & pasted into the wrong box. IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE! Who is writing a post at 11:00 PM! GEEZ! So, anyways, I might as well share them with you, my loyal and caring readers, since I already shared them with the entire twitterverse.

PMS!
Insomnia!
Anxiety!
Memory problems! (my brain is swiss cheese)
Cyclical Headaches! (now with staying power!)
Mood Swings!
Anxious Depression!
Weepiness!
Foggy thinking! (love an excuse for this)
Migraines!
And just so I have some ugly to go with the crazy…
Acne!

So basically I think I am really screwed up. Hence the doc appointment on Thursday. Where I am fairly certain, there is going to have to be about 1,000 different kinds of things prescribed to me to make me feel better, but I don’t care, because I JUST. WANT. TO. FEEL. BETTER.

Buckle your seat belts and stay tuned, because I am sure I will not be able to stop myself from giving you every cringe-worthy detail. I hope this hormonecoaster ride is almost over, and I hope you’ll hang with me as I see it through.

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You Gotta Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em


Photo by Hop-Frog

It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted about how I’m feeling. (Quick recap: birth control pills made me crazy and depressed.) The answer is complicated. I stopped taking the first pill I was on and after a few days I started to feel somewhat like my old self. I even taught a coupon class one night and it was really fun. I started taking a new pill – the one I was on five plus years ago before I had Joshua. For a few days I felt ok, mostly back to normal, but after about a week, I started feeling sick again. The nausea and headaches started, and along came lack of appetite and being unable to eat certain things. It really did feel like I was about eight or nine weeks pregnant! (I am not, I promise you.) Then Wednesday in the late afternoon, it started happening again. The depression covered me like a blanket made of steel. I couldn’t get out from under it, no matter how hard I tried to push it aside. I sobbed while I made my kids peanut butter sandwiches for dinner, and after my husband got home, went up to our bedroom to be alone.

And there alone in my bed I made a decision. I just cannot take the pill anymore. I can’t even think about going back to that dark place I was in. Maybe I can try again in a few months, but right now I need to be able to get back to me. I will just deal with my crazy hormones without adding any in to make them crazier. I just want to feel normal again, and not be afraid of what tomorrow is going to hold because of some medication I am taking. Because after how bad I felt Wednesday night, I just can’t do that to myself anymore. It’s not worth it.

So, there ya go. I give. I am crying “uncle”. I just hope I can put myself back right. It may require me going to CVS and buying six 12-packs of Mountain Dew, but I’m prepared to make the sacrifice if I have to.

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Survivitude

O hai, I’m still here. Thank you for all your kind comments and prayers yesterday. They really meant a lot to me. Especially those who let me know I’m not alone.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, and those of you who read often (you rock!) know that I’m usually very upbeat. But I’ve truly not been myself these days. And I’m trying to figure out how to deal with that, and be as much of me as I can be, but also be authentic with you. So, thanks for traveling down this (hopefully short) road with me.

Yesterday was a good day. My mommy came over and took care of me. She brought me lunch, bon bons, and an InStyle Magazine. I sure am glad we never cut the cord! She took Joshua out for a few hours so I got to take a nap when Sophie napped. Then my sweet brother & sister-in-law brought us dinner. I can’t tell you how much it helped not to have to prepare meals. For some reason, even making a pb&j sandwich is still very daunting.

I called my doctor, I got a new prescription, and hopefully all will go well with that. We shall see. If not, I’m content at this point to get off the Pill altogether and just deal with my terrible cycle. At least that was an enemy I was familiar with.

Thank you for hanging in there with me. I love you for it! And I have a special treat for you. I’m back to my old self over at Sarcastic Mom today. I wrote a guest post for her a couple of weeks ago, and it’s posted today. So for some classic old-time-Jenny-fun, go check it out! Then, you will understand why I’m letting Sophie tear up packing peanuts all over my floor right now.

Oh, and if that’s doesn’t do it for ya, check out our “greatest hits” page. Some of my all-time favorites from our archives. I promise you’ll enjoy.

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