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Empathy

Yesterday, Emily and her family buried her grandfather. As she wrote last week, he was a wonderful man and extraordinarily loving grandfather. The grandfather that Emily and I share died well before we were born. We both only had one grandpa, and we both had a really good one.

The service yesterday was in the same room where my Grandpa’s viewing was a little over two years ago, and it brought back lots of memories. Grief fades with time but it can come back to visit at times as fresh as the moment it was new. Emily and Anna grieved yesterday and I grieved for them.

Two years ago at my grandfather’s funeral, Emily sat in the crowd and when it was done, her tear-stained face told me she felt for me. Before we parted, she held me tight.

Yesterday it was just the same. We stood in each other’s places. She in the front this time, me in the back. Before we parted, I held her tight.

There will be a time, I know, when our grief will be the same. I can hardly entertain the thought.

But it is comforting to know we won’t be alone.

Photo Credit: adwriter via Compfight cc

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Nothing like thirfty coffee drinkin’

Well hello again, friends! I went SHOPPING again! I am doing so good with keeping up with my goal to drugstore whore every week.  This week I was especially excited to get a great deal at CVS on my FAVORITE coffee, Gevalia. Here’s how it shook out:

I bought:

3 bags of Gevalia, $5.99 each = $17.97

2 Children’s Advil (one liquid, one chewables) $4.99 each =$9.98

CVS pain pads $5.89 (because I am old, and my back hurts, and they were out of my favorite kind, the Ben-Gay brand. And this is already a purchase I am regretting. They suck.)

total = $33.84

coupons I used:

-$4.99 BOGO Advil printable from Facebook

-$1 Advil printable from I can’t remember where

-$4.50 three $1.50 off Gevalia coupons (two printable from Facebook and one from a recent insert)

total =$23.35 + tax

I got back 9 ECBs (5 for the Gevalia and 4 for the Advil) plus I had a 75 cent ibotta app coupon for the chewable Advil as well. So my net expense was $13.60 for all that wheeee!

It would’ve been much better if I’d still had my 6 ECB from last week, but I had to spend that earlier in the week on – you guessed it – Ben-Gay pain patches for my BACK! I can’t wait til this is healed up! They are so expensive but they are about the only thing that helps.

So, those are MY deals – I was super-stoked about the Advil because it came out more than free (and I am looking forward to using the chewables with the big kids) and the coffee came out to just $2.82 per bag ($4.50 is my “will-buy” price for Gevalia. Woot!!)!

What did you get at the store this week?

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Death is complicated.

This week has been an educational experience for me. We lost my grandpa on Tuesday, and the days between then and now have been filled with making arrangements and buying funeral clothes and ordering flowers and locating paperwork and calling long-lost family and friends.

To be honest, all the things that have to be done when someone dies works out well for a process-driven person like me. He wasn’t gone for two hours before I wanted to be DOING something. So I googled “things to do when someone dies” and made myself some lists.

I keep thinking, though, about what a freaking nightmare this would be under other circumstances. Grandpa was old and very ill, and while we are all sad to see him go, we all consider his peaceful passing a blessing. His funeral was pre-arranged and paid for, his assets had been relinquished to pay for his nursing home care long ago. There’s not much to do – but there’s a ton of things to do.

I can only imagine how awful all this would be if we were in complete shock and utterly grief-stricken.

Death is complicated. And it sucks.

So, um, happy Friday?!?

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