Pavlov’s Bowels

I pretty much have the worst potty-training track record ever, unlike some people.  The potty training process with Joshua, and then Sophie, were two of my lowest parenting points.

So, with Jonah, I’m getting proactive.  I’m gonna have this kid in big-boy pants by the time he’s two!

Ok, not really. But somehow I’ve discovered that I CAN get him to poop on demand!  Well, not really demand.  But he’s sort of trained to poop when I lay him on his changing table.  Like Pavlov’s dog salivated when he heard the bell, Jonah moves his bowels when I lay him down on the changing table.  It. is. AWESOME.  And rather impressive, I must say!

Gearing up to pop out a poop!

I kid you not, if it’s diaper changing time, and he has not already pooped, I just lay him down there and within about 2 minutes he will produce a very loud, ginormous key-rap.  I first realized it after a couple times where I changed him TOO quickly and he immediately (and loudly) soiled the brand-new diaper.  And once when he pooped bare-buns on the changing table. EEEWWW.

Since he is SO very consistent with this, I have learned to take off his pants and pull his onesie way up to his shoulders because sometimes he will still shoot ’em straight up the back even when he’s laying there!  I learned this lesson the hard way – several times.

So there ya go. I’ve got my baby poop trained.  If being trained to poop in a diaper, on a changing table, is worth anything at all…it’s at least worth a laugh!

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Is there such a thing as a Side-Mullet?

Jonah, who has, like his sister, inherited my vanity, is having a HUGE hair crisis.  And as his personal stylist, I am befuddled about what to do.  Ok fine, it’s not bothering him in the slightest.  He pretty much just cares about unfettered access to my chestal region and not sitting in his own excrement.  But his hair, my friends, is driving ME a little nutty!  I need your advice!

‘Cause baby’s got ‘burns.  SIDEburns.  See?

While he is totally adorable (duh), and I loooove the fact that he has any hair at all, it’s a little loooong around the ears.  It’s all “business in the front, party on the sides”.  And it’s kinda freaking me out!  The sideburns have gotten way ahead of the rest of his hair!

It looks ridiculous when I tuck them behind his ears:

But it also looks crazy when I just let them hang wild and free:

Should I cut them?  Would that be criminal?  Or let them grow even if he starts to look like the infant version of Martin Van Buren? (8th President of the United States, people!)

Whaddya think? Help my baby’s HAIRZ! (I’m talkin’ to you, UP!)

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My poor neglected third child

Despite Emily’s assertion that I’m spending more time on my kids, my poor little Jonah boy is seriously suffering from third-child syndrome.  We have taken, like, 12 pictures of him on actual camera since he was born.  We’ve got plenty of camera-phone pictures like this gem:

But no real ones!  It’s pretty sad, and I’ve GOT to get it taken care of right away!  But geez I don’t even have time to talk to Emily on the INTERNETZ much less photograph the baby.

So, I am really happy about this little thing we have now called the smartphone.  And it’s pal, the You Tube.  Because last night my hubby got this a-freaking-dorable video of Jonah finding his voice, and if a picture is worth a thousand words, I think this video is worth 1,001.  Enjoy!

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