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Just Another Moron Monday

So I know I’ve complained before about how insane Mondays are, but… here I go again.

I cannot – cannot – manage to get out of the house on time in the mornings. Yes, part of my issues would be resolved if I abandoned the snooze button, but some of it is not my fault! I swear, the universe conspires against me. The most random and annoying things happen to me in the morning.

Don’t believe me?

Take a look at how this morning started off.

What is that, you ask? It is the vent cover from my kitchen floor, stuck to the heel of my shoe. Or, I suppose, it originated with the heel of my shoe getting caught in the vent cover, but when I lifted my foot the vent came with it.

It was nearly impossible to get out, which cost me time and also left a big scratch on my new Tom Madden heels.

Yay.

THEN, as if I wasn’t running late enough, I get in my car and am greeted with this.

Although I really can’t say this issue delayed me any because even though my car was CLEARLY out of gas and even though my commute is 30+ miles AND even though I travel with a three year old in tow, I decided to take my chances.

I coasted into the office on fumes, but I made it.

However, not five seconds after walking in the door, I tripped over my own feet and somehow this was the result.

Not only did I use the heel of my shoe to rip a giant hole in my tights, I managed to cut my leg. So, I showed up to a staff meeting in bare legs (in January, may I remind you) BLEEDING. (Thank you Baby Jesus that I had shaved my legs on Saturday. Yes that was 48 hours prior but that is better than 48 days, which is an entirely possible scenario.)

So, let’s review the take-aways from this story.

I should:
A) Never pack my lunch for work, because when I do, I step backwards from the refrigerator and get my heel caught in the vent;
B) Never where four-inch heels;
C) Disregard the gas light warning, because clearly it doesn’t really mean empty;
D) Make it a policy to shave at least once a week, on the off chance I have to throw away my tights;
E) Realize that D is highly unlikely and just wear pants at all times.

At least it was a learning experience.

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Finished.

A long, long time ago, I had the dumb bright idea to start graduate school. Sam was an infant, I was having an identity crisis… it seemed like a good idea at the time. To me. Not so much to Jenny.

It didn’t take long for me to second-guess that decision.

Along the way, I’ve moaned and whined about the entire experience, and you’ve all been there for me. Seriously, the comments on the posts I linked to above? Made me tear up a little.

Despite all my complaining, I managed to finish my coursework in the spring of 2010. A year and a half ago. Since then, the only thing standing between me and the hood I’ve envied for so long was one little thing – my thesis.

I’ve worried about it, put it off, and generally felt bad about it for so long…

But I am so relieved to report that it. Is. Finished.

Not just written – defended. And I passed.

I cannot tell you how glad I am that this thing is over and how much I appreciate your support throughout the whole debacle.

Now, I am going to sleep. (Yes it is 7p.m., what’s your point?)

Tomorrow, I move on with my life.

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It’s Not the End of the World – or is it?

One of the many things I struggle with is how big of a deal to make out of things – and by “things,” I mean failures on my part. Once I get started thinking about one thing, a giant list of other things I need to do or fix or clean or whatever comes to the forefront of my mind… and I can’t let them go. Not that I actually do anything about them, I might add. Most of the things on this list have been on it and will remain on it for a long, long time. Why? Because I suck. Add that to the list.

Most of the time, this stuff worries me when I don’t have the opportunity to do anything about it – when I’m laying in bed at night, or when I’m at work. Why? Because I suck.

Anyway, every once in a while when I do have a semi-rational thought, it occurs to me that maybe, just maybe, I might be stressing out about things that don’t need to be priorities. But then I think that’s a cop out and I really just need to get some shit done.

So. Here’s my list. At least here’s what I can think of right now. I’m sure there’s more.

— I need to find an organizational system for our kitchen. Piles of papers on the counter make me crazy.
— I need to hook up the super awesome printer I bought, I don’t know, probably six months ago. It’s been sitting in a corner since then.
— I need to clean out my closet and move summer stuff downstairs.
— I need to change the batteries in the smoke detectors.
— I need to pack better lunches for Kate.
— I need to get up earlier.
— I need to eat breakfast.
— I need to lose 7 pounds.
— I need to clean out the room in our basement that could be on an episode of Hoarders.
— I need to organize our digital pictures.
— I need to cook dinner wayyyyyy more than I do.
— I need to drink more water.
— I need to keep my car cleaner.
— I need to organize my desk.

Each of those things have just about equal importance in my mind, and I berate myself equally for not doing each of them.

So, friends, do you have a list like this? What’s on it?

And for the love of God, what should I do first?

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