My Near-Career as a Freak Show Stage Mom

This past Thursday the kids and I went to a local splash park with my two sisters-in-law and my nieces & nephews. It’s a park we have been to many times, but not since they added the “splash” element. Sophie went for the water right away, but Joshua was, as usual, a little more hesitant. Eventually, we ended up at the part of the park he was used to, where he and Sophie played in a large sand play area. Before we had been in that area too long, I noticed a bug bite right at the side of his right eye. It was about 2:30, and although I had sunscreened the bejeebers out of the kids, it had not even occurred to me to put any bug repellent on them. But bugs LOVE Joshua, and he has actually been bitten in that spot a couple of times before, including once when we were on vacation in Virginia where it got a bit swollen. So instead of real concern, I had more of a “not-again” feeling! Here’s a picture of him right after I noticed the bite. You can barely see it:

immediately after bite

Here’s a picture about 5 minutes later:

just got bit on the eye

Here’s a picture about 2 or 3 minutes after that:

about 10 minutes after the bite

After I took this shot, Sophie wanted to wander so I followed her around and left Joshua with my sisters-in-law. A few minutes later they approached me. “Ah, I think you need to take a look at his bite,” they said, “it kind of looks like it’s a big blister underneath his eye. You might wanna have it looked at.”

I grabbed Soph and went over to where Joshua was. I took one look at him and pulled out my cell phone and dialed the pediatrician’s office, which was thankfully about 2 minutes away from the park. They had an opening in 30 minutes. The swelling under Joshua’s eye was HUGE and definitely looked like it had to be filled with fluid or something. It was about the weirdest thing I have ever seen. I tried not to panic, and made arrangements for my sis’ to take Sophie home with them. We did the car seat-swapping and I got Joshua in the car. We headed over the doc’s office even though I knew we would be early. I took a picture of him after we pulled into the pediatrician’s parking lot. Here is what he looked like:

THE EYE!!! 45 mins after bite

It had been about 45 minutes since he’d been bit.

YOWZA!! Can you see why I was trying not to PANIC??

Joshua was being such a trouper, meanwhile. He claimed it did not hurt, and he was as cheerful as could be. When we went into the office, the girls who checked us in were like “Whoa! We can see why you came right over!” We read every book in the waiting room and then finally were called back. The nurse gave a cry of “You Poor Thing!” when she saw him. We weren’t able to see Joshua’s regular doctor (but I was just thankful to not be at urgent care!) and when the available doc came in the room she kind of did a double-take. Uhhhh…generally not a good sign! She got all the info from me about when, where, how and then checked him out thoroughly to make sure the reaction wasn’t affecting his throat, etc. Joshua informed her immediately that he did NOT want a shot and as soon as she said “no shots, no shots” he was a super-happy camper. She said that he was obviously sensitive to bites abnd that whatever had bitten him was “more venomous” than a mosquito. She wrote us a prescription for something “like Benadryl, but stronger” and told us to come back the next day to make sure it wasn’t infected. The Dr. marveled as she left at how cheerful Joshua was! I was so proud of him (and I felt so terrible that his EYE WAS THE SIZE OF A GRAPEFRUIT!) that I bought him a toy at CVS when we went to get his prescription. Even the pharmacist was amazed that a kid with such a GINORMOUS EYE could be so happy!

After we got a dose of medicine in him, I could see the swelling begin to go down within an hour. By bedtime, he looked like this:

THE EYE that night

(also pictured is the brownie I bribed him to take his medicine with, which Jenny and Jill were fighting over on Twitter. Seriously ladies, have some decency!)

And the next morning, like this:

THE EYE the next morning

The follow-up appointment with his regular doctor went well, and he said he looked good, just to keep him on the medicine for one more day.

I was very relieved, because for a minute there, I thought Joshua and I were going to have to travel the Freak Show circuit, with him earning his living as Cyclops Boy or GinormEye and me standing by as his pushy yet overprotective stage mother.

But thankfully, his little face is now as beautiful as ever. However I have decided never to go to a park again, ever, or anyplace where there are bugs. So we’ll just have to become famous for being eccentric hermits! With normal-sized eyes. Or something.

(P.S. We are having a great back-to-school contest! Enter here if you haven’t already!)

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Pre-school Procrastination

Over the past year, I have been asked the question, “So, what are you doing for Joshua for preschool?” many, many times. I have had two standard answers to this question: The very intelligent “uhh…..” and the very nervously delivered, “I don’t really want to think about that yet.”

Joshua will be five in February, so he definitely won’t be going to kindergarten until a year from now (I am having cold sweats, breaking out in hives, and trying not to puke as I type that! Ugh!) But since he has known all his letters since before he was 2, can write his name, and now read quite well, I really wasn’t going to send him to preschool. To be brutally honest, this is basically because I didn’t want to deal with it and/or pay for it. He gets plenty of social interaction at Sunday school and Awana, and as I said, “academically” he is fine.

But I felt a bit guilty about that, since that is what moms do.

Then my BFF Luanne came up with a brilliant idea. She suggested I put Joshua in her homeschool co-op. (She homeschools her 14-year-old daughter.) The co-op has class the first three Thursdays of the month from 10-2 and a field trip the last Friday of every month. There is a class for just hte pre-K kids. I would be with him, there is a nursery for Sophie, and the cost is less than $100 per year for one child.

It has the added benefit of getting my lazy butt out of the house!

I haven’t decided whether or not I will homeschool. I am leaning towards not, but who knows, the other co-op moms may fore me to drink the homeschool kool-aid!

So, I mailed the application and check today. Soon my little guy will be a bona fide preschooler! I’m hoping we will both make some new friends, have fun, and learn a lot.

But I am curious, how did those of you who have gone before make your preschool decisions?

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Horror-Moans

Greeting from the throes of Hormone Hell! (If you are reading this and are a dude, you MIGHT wanna bail now. That means, YOU, Dad! And YOU, Uncle Dan!)

Ok, anyways. It’s that time of the month. Ever since my period returned when Sophie was 10 months old, my hormones have been torturing me. So I write this as I am on day THREE of a terrible headache. The cramps weren’t really that bad his time around, for which I am thankful! But unfortunately, this isn’t the only time during my cycle when the hormones and I duke it out. They also smack me with a nice headache or two when I’m fertile. These are sometimes accompanies by puking. And then there’s the zits. Giant, sore, swollen spots on my forehead. One is either starting or healing virtually ALL the time. I get one when I’m fertile and one just before my period. I am starting to get scars. I never had acne like this when I was a teenager, but now that I’m thirty, well, they are making up for lost time.

Finally, there’s the mood swings. The night before I got my period this time I was seriously so depressed, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. I am normally an upbeat person, but these hormones just make me crazy sometimes. I knew it was totally irrational. All I could do was go to bed. I knew I would feel calmer in the morning (and I did). But I’d rather just skip that feeling altogether.

There are two solutions to this problem: get pregnant (Hee-ell no, sorry Mom!) or wean Sophie and get back on the ol’ birth control pill. I seriously care MORE that it regulates my horror-moans than I do that it prevents pregnancy.

So. I need to wean this girl. She is 20 months old for goodness sake, I think I’ve done my duty.

But she’s my baby.

And she’s very strong-willed.

And she loves her some nursing.

And she really does not like the idea of giving it up.

hopes dashed!

And the sound of her screaming makes me want to jump off a bridge.

But I’m tired of my hormones taking me from this:

nicejenny2

To this:

scaryjenny
So tell me, world wide interwebz, what do I do?

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