Good news, my friends! Sophia Diane is going to be a gold medalist in either Olympic diving or gymnastics in about 16 years. Let’s hope these athletic accomplishments also come with lots of paid endorsements after the fact because she is going to need a lot of money to keep her mother in a very plush, ritzy, padded LOONEY BIN. I mean, she is definitely going to send me to the looney bin so I really want it to be a nice one. I received this vision of her future just this morning and I am quite certain of its accuracy. Let me set the scene for you!
I was running a bath for the kids, when the running water made me have to go tinkle. So, I sat on the toilet as one does in this situation. Sophia, meanwhile, was holding onto the side of the tub with one hand, leaning forward to stick her hand in the running water. Then, all of a sudden, she decided this was BORING and she VAULTED herself into the bathtub. When I say vaulted, I mean, she pushed herself off the side of the tub with both hands and FLIPPED into the bathtub. How? I have NO IDEA, so it must just be innate talent. Whether she will apply said talent to Olympic diving or Olympic gymnastic remains to be seen.
I let out a screech and jumped up off the pot. Adrenaline must’ve stopped my bladder, thank God, so I didn’t pee all over myself. I leapt over to the tub and found Sophie sitting up, fully clothed (including shoes), soaking wet, and very pleased with herself! She was very displeased with me when I pulled her out of the tub and began thrashing and wailing, and getting me soaked. I quickly stripped her and put her back in the tub. Then I got out my flask of brandy to soothe my nerves. JUST kidding. I ate three Hershey bars. JUST kidding again, but if I HAD three Hershey bars I totally would’ve pounded them down in quick succession!!!
She’s CRAZY!
Sophie, when you are reading this years from now, remember that Mommy carried you for nine months and nursed you for infinity (because you are never going to let me wean you) and that she wants a very nice, cozy, luxurious, lavish, over-the-top suite at the ritziest LOONEY BIN around!
Now GO FOR THE GOLD, baby girl! Your official training starts the day after New Year’s. We’ve got to get an edge on the competition!
Go SOphie GO!!!! We will be in the stands cheering 🙂
We’re so there…. if you can hook us up with some free tickets.
USA!
USA!
Aiden does the SAME thing! He also climbs on the couch and likes to throw himself off onto the floor. Or climb the rocking ottoman and ride it on his tummy. Tons-o-fun!!!!
This is my first time reading your blog and I have to say I am hooked. Your coupon post was also very funny. I have to thank The Busy Dad for mentioning your coupon success in his blog because had he not I would have been missing out.
Oh my gosh!!! Avery did the EXACT SAME THING last week!! I’m telling you, those two are the same kid!!!! She managed to face plant into the water at the base of the tub, though, (luckily it had barely started filling)and wasn’t thrilled with that part! But she didn’t learn — she keeps trying to do it when I’m in the shower!!
HaHaHa! My fourteen month old daughter was leaning over the tub batting at the bubbles the other day when her 3 year old brother pulled her bottom up and tipped her in! I wasn’t peeing at the time haha but my reflexes were so slow I may as well have been! Thank Goodness she thought it was fun. Maybe it would have been better if she had gotten hurt because my son has been plotting a repeat performance since then!
What a perfect description of the chaos we call parenthood. If I had a dime for each time I endured peepeeinterruptus to tend to a perceived emergency, I’d be able to buy some “really good crack” 😉
My little man is getting ready to start walking so I am sure I will be in for plenty of experiences like this in the very near future. I better start preparing and stock up on the Brandy! 🙂
BTW: You are the only person I know, other than those in my family, who calls the toilet…the Pot. Are we related? I don’t know where my Mom got it from because her Mom called it the Stool. Oh well…enough toilet talk. 🙂
that is awsome~~ benjamin has almost done the same thing~but i caught him just in time~ we had our own bathtub disaster when he chipped his two front teeth on the tub~~ i didn’t give him a bath for about a week after that because i was afraid something else horrible would happen.
Hate to admit this, but I nearly did this the other day. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, maybe it was the wine. 😉
Something lovely is heading your way on my blog tomorrow. I didn’t want to forget to tell you, so here’s your official heads up. Check for it after 7 am.
I just know you’ll stay up all night b/c you’ll be too excited to sleep!