Sunday I was awakened at 10 til 4 IN THE MORNING by Joshua coming into our bedroom and saying “Jonah’s throwing up!”
Of course he is. Because I’ve had the cold from hell for a week and I cannot control the coughing at night, so why would he throw up during the day when I could actually take care of him without hacking up a lung? As I was deliriously bathing Jonah and Bobby was deliriously stripping the boys’ beds of pukey sheets (because of course he got it on Joshua’s bed, too), Bobby looked at me and said, “Why do our kids ALWAYS have to start throwing up in the middle of the night? They never START throwing up in the daytime. If they throw up in the daytime, it’s just a continuation of something that started in the middle of the night.”
This morning, as I groggily moved to the coffee pot, his words popped back into my head, and I tried to think. Think, think, think, about when the kids had started a pukefest pre-bedtime.
In my ten years of parenting I can recall TWO TIMES. TWICE. Two whole times out of eleventybillion that they didn’t start off a pukefest during the wee hours. Once was when Joshua was in kindergarten, and we had to go pick him up because he threw up in class (first kindergartener of the YEAR to blow chunks in class. WINNER!!) and the second time was in December when Sophie and I were at a basketball game and Jonah started hurling all over Bobby about 7 p.m. If only he could’ve held it in a few. more. hours! Just to torture us as we tried to care for him!
Jonah is totally fine today, and has had no more instances of pukage, hallelujah! He’s been running around happy like a maniac and I will confess I’ve let him indulge in a few more of his favorite YouTube music videos than I normally would because I’M SO TIRED from being up in the middle of the night and then sleeping EVER so lightly (with Joshua in our bed because we only had one set of clean sheets, natch) so that I’d hear Jonah if he got sick again.
So yeah. I think the little boogers hold it in until it’s prime sleeping time, because WHEEEEEE being up in the middle of the night is AWESOME and mom and dad being too tired to care what happens during the day is AWESOMER!
Kids. I tell you, the method to their madness is positively Machiavellian!
What do you think? Are your kids in on the conspiracy too, or are mine just “special”?
