How Not to Parent on Your Kid’s Summer Vacation

Last week I introduced you to my hilarious Uncle Paul, after discovering that his witty comments on this here blog were getting some attention from the readers. To further demonstrate his grand sense of humor, let me fill you in on what he did last week for his 60th birthday. He went to the Lynyrd Skynyrd and Kid Rock show in Atlanta. By himself!

Of course Uncle Paul being Uncle Paul, he did not leave the show empty-handed. He came home with a camera full of pictures and a mouth full of witty observations about the crowd’s, um, behavior. UP has a whole facebook album full of pics from the show, but this is about the only one I felt I could show you. Check out these two klassy ladies from the great state of Tennessee (Alli, Jennifer, Jamie, do you know these gals?) dressed for the show:

Ok, not that bikini girl doesn’t have a better body than me, but remind me not to ever wear an outfit that puts my back fat rolls on display, mmkay?

ANYHOO – here are Uncle Paul’s comments on the show:

Ticket a gift, Parking $20, T shirt, $35.00, Water $4.00, Sprite $4.00, Soft Pretzel $5.00 – the experience – PRICELESS!

Crimes of fashion everywhere. From the start I felt overdressed, under tattooed and under pierced. It was butt crack halter top, ball cap, pierced navel, butt crack, ball cap, tube top as far as the eye could see.

I also now support the 18th amendment more than every before and suggest we reinstate it! So many drunks, so little time.

Ok, this is Jenny again. Here’s my favorite part and the whole point of this post. (Besides the point that my Uncle Paul is hilarious.) Apparently there were PARENTS (plural!) who thought it would be a good idea to take their little kids to a Lynyrd Skynyrd/Kid Rock show for some summer fun. Whaaa?? Did they stop at the strip club on the way home?? From Uncle Paul’s observations:

And the T shirts! I tried to get a picture of the 9 year old kid holding his mother’s beer while she was lighting her cigarette in front of the No Smoking sign, But I couldn’t sneak one. Oh yes, he was wearing a T-shirt that said “Kid Ma F#$%^%$ Rock! Yeah, I’d love to be in on that school conference.

Oh, and the father of three sitting next me who lit up a joint, and was surprised when the security guard told him he was sitting in the No Smoking section!!

The concert was great!

So remember parents, if you are an adult like Uncle Paul, feel free to wear your bikini and jeans shirts to a fun summer concert, but don’t take your kids, let them wear clothing with profanities, or make them hold your drinks.

And for heaven’s sake! Smoke your joints in private!

Happy summer everyone!

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11 Replies to “How Not to Parent on Your Kid’s Summer Vacation”

  1. That is so stinkin hilarious!!! I thought the mom whose kid dropped and ice cream bar at an Indians game and rinsed it off with bottled water which she’d been drinking was bad. The said mother also rinsed off her baby’s pacifier the same way.

    Next time their tour bus rolls through town, I’m so there… not necesscarily for the concert, but for the amazing (but potentially gross and disturbing) entertainment value.

    I so want to be Uncle Paul’s friend on facebook!

  2. you are such a prude, jenny. 😛

    i just purchased onsies for my future children that simply state george carlin’s “7 dirty words you can’t say on television.” tasteful, yet understated…let me know if you or UP want the link to the store where i bought them. 😛

    have a great 4th of july weekend!

  3. Wow better than Nascar, that’s a bold statement. I don’t watch Nascar, so I’ll take your word on that.

    Joints in private, Jenny, what kind of fun would that be?

  4. Did you not now that as long as you are in the south, bikini’s are the only way to go, never mind the number of pounds or the number of years. It’s totally evident by all the whales on the beaches on the gulf coast beaches that are sporting 2 small pieces of material.

    Now me, after I passed 180, I refused to wear a bikini any longer. And, the age of 40 was another show stopper. Too bad..I kind of like Lynerd Skynyrd

  5. Ah, he got a nice fine introduction to our lovely Georgia Southern Belles. Naturally, we’re much more reserved down here in the southeastern part of the state. I mean, you’d nevah catch a real Southern lady strolling in Savannah dressed like that. 😉

  6. You are right, Uncle Paul is hysterically funny. As are you!

    And on a somewhat odd note, his description of the event makes me a little homesick…

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