In which I rant about birth control pills.

Between the two of us, Jenny and I have been on five different kinds of birth control pills in the last year, and all five of them have been horrible. Do you know why? Because BIRTH CONTROL PILLS SUCK.

Until a week ago, I was on Yaz. However, it turns out Yaz has a special kind of hormone that tends to kill women. So call me crazy, but I went to the doc and asked for something else.

So I’ve been on Loestrin 24 for four days now, and call me crazy, but it is making me CRAZY. I am sure you’ll concur by the time you finish reading this post. Or this sentence. Whatever.

Anyway. Pumping hormones into our bodies? It makes no sense.

The feminist in me will always be thankful for the fact that we have any options at all, but why is it that decades after the initial invention we’re ok with the fact that in order to prevent pregnancy, we have to risk blood clots and strokes and general insanity?

This is 2010, for the love of God. We can make sure all 84-year-old men can have erections, but we can’t come up with any options for birth control that don’t have the potential to kill us? Seriously?

I can only imagine what kind of magical prophylactic pills and potions and fruit smoothies would be available if men were the ones who got knocked up.

All I want is to find something that won’t kill me, make me crazy, or make me fat. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently.

The worst symptom of this current hormonal cocktail I’m ingesting on a daily basis is that it’s making me angry. Can you tell?

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34 Replies to “In which I rant about birth control pills.”

  1. Putting my doctor hat on and climbing on my soapbox: Yes, birth control puts you at risk for blood clots, high blood pressure and causes emotional swings. But, pregnancy puts you at about a 4 times greater risk of blood clots and I distinctly remember some swinging emotions. The best way to look at birth control is to reduce the total hormone load you need to do the job. I highly recommend 1 of 2 options.
    1. Mirena IUD: contains hormones, but a lot less than oral pills and lasts for 5 years! Yes, its a procedure your doc has to do and its a little piece of plastics in your uterus, but its set it and forget it birth control! Anyone who’s been in a monogamous relationship for more than 1 year and has no plans to have kiddos in the next 5 years should think about this. And, if you change your mind, they go back into the office and take it out.
    2. Nuvaring: Small plastic ring that releases hormones, you place it in the vagina, leave it for 3 weeks, take it out and have a period and then put a new one in. It releases very minimal hormones as well because its right snug up against your cervix so it can hit the ovaries easier. The best way to describe what it looks like is a smaller version of a jelly bracelet you wore in middle school. I know, it sounds totally awkward and weird, but if you’ve done the tampon thing you can handle this. You cane leave it in suring sex or take it out and put it back in after. That’s not as awkward as it sounds, because really they are just so distracted by the slight thought they might get laid that why would they notice. When I had to go off pills because my blood pressure was getting too high, this is the first thing I tried and its awesome.
    And that may have been more than you wanted to know.

    1. All pills have made me crazy and NuvaRing was actually the WORST bc I have ever taken. It depressed me in less than 24 hours. Now I have Explanon in b/c I thought lo dose would be better. Nope. I am a wreck, my husband thinks I am crazy and is pissed off at me, and doesn’t seem to get that it’s not me, its the stupid hormones. I agree. I do not know why there isn’t better options out there 🙁

  2. That is the exact game plan the Doc put me on and neither worked – we talked about Yaz on the way to Blissdom but didn’t get around to Loestrin. ha ha!
    Good luck girl! I wish I had an answer but I don’t!
    I think I am on a generic Low dose now and it seems to be doing better. But as good as BC can work right?

  3. I too was just on Yaz, but took myself off cause it made me crazy!! I am not on Sprintec 28, which is a generic for something I just can’t remember what?..lol I don’t need the bc pills to prevent birth! My body does that for me…I don’t ovulate! I need it for the estrogen that my body seems to be lacking ever since I had Naomi 20 months ago!! Good luck!!!!! I hope yours and mine work!

  4. I was on Loestrin 24 for three months (the amount of free samples I was given) and the pharmacy accidentally filled my actual prescription with Junel. SO. MUCH. BETTER. than the Loestrin. It’s the generic version of “regular” Loestrin, and I’ve had no trouble at all with it. And, it’s way cheaper! 🙂 Good luck.

  5. I absolutely refuse to go on those things. I’ve heard such horror stories. I tried BC pills once, the summer before I got married. I was on them for about 6 mos and my boobs got huge (not good; they were already huge) and I gained 10 lbs and couldn’t take it off for love nor money. We used a diaphram for a while and then eventually natural family planning, to which we can thank our third surprise child. After that, my husband got snipped and we’ve never looked back. Anyway, I have no advice (other than to get your hubby fixed, lol) but I wanted to commiserate.

  6. AMEN!! I completely agree with you. I don’t feel like there are any good options on the market right now, and believe me, I’ve looked. The pill makes me feel crazy and I know of more than a dozen friends who have had a bad experience with Mirena. It’s so frustrating.

  7. 1) Cousin, your rage is scaring me! Please don’t take it out on the children.

    2) Cousin Mackenzie, eww, you know my mom is going to read that.

    3) I want a birth control pill that won’t make me crazy, controls my acne, keeps me from getting pregnant, and has a liiiiiitle bit of xanax in it. Is that so wrong?

  8. First of all: Mackenzie…that Million Dollar Education has paid off!! Very good.

    Secondly: Vasetomy…look it UP.

    Thirdly: If preggers isn’t the issue, you’re right 2010…get with it!

    And lastly: Your pissedoffacy level is causing tremors in Southwestern Ohio. Stop it, you’re scaring the folks at CNN!

    UP

  9. I agree and it’s why I’m not taking them anymore.

    I noticed a bigger difference after having 3 kids with how the hormones in the pills affect me. I never really had any issues before being pregnant but after – whoo boy. Talk about whackadoodle. I was on Yaz and it made me both foggy-headed and nervy/irritable. No thanks!

    Wish I had an easy answer for you. 😉

  10. i’ve been on yaz for a year and i really like it. (not dead yet!) i usually only cry once during pms instead of going completely crazy. pmdd is FUN!

    i really wanted to try mirena, but it costs $600, yo!!

    1. DON’T try Mirena – Horrible – I haven’t been right for 6 months – you never know when you will have a period and in between is just yucky!! I am going next week to have it removed! Gonna give the pill a new whirl – it’s been a while – maybe I’ll find something that will make me HAPPY, put me in the mood, instead of MOODY, and make me laugh at everything instead of YELL at everything!!

  11. Hi 🙂

    I have to admit that I’m one of the lucky ones – I LOVE birth control pills. My skin looks great, my cramps go away, and I gain weight in all the RIGHT places – they actually give me a figure! But I know I’m simply lucky – mainly because nearly all my friends have gone through the same thing as you…

    To mirror Mackenzie, I’m putting on my Nurse Practitioner hat now and… wait! She already said everything I was going to! MIRENA. Amen.

    At least 12 of my late 20/early 30-something friends have Mirena and LOVE it (and 10 of them are also nurse practitioners!). I will add that in practices around here, we just ask that you don’t want to get pregnant for at least 2 years, that you’re monogamous, and no major history of std’s. I also think it only runs around $225 – but it may depend on your insurance…

    Definitely the birth control of choice of informed, young professional women that I know!

    Good luck 🙂

    1. I had the IUD after my child. Worst thing ever. Constant spotting and horrible, horrible night sweats, as well as very restless sleep. I had it for about 6-8 months. As soon as it was out- better. I have had issues with all BC. I am so tired of it all.

  12. Well, I am thankful that we are done with conception so Paul got the snip (or technical word, vasectomy). However, before that we weren’t doing anything except..well…I probably shouldn’t share that in a post 🙂
    I’m just not a fan of taking medication on a daily basis, which is why the pill never worked for me. I also do have the PMDD stuff and I have tried to convince my doctor to offer me valuum just for those 7 days. She used some technical stuff about how other drugs need to be in my system…blah blah blah. I was just like “You gonna give me the drugs or what.” And, seriously, I didn’t say that, but I reaaaallllly wanted to – bad. I mean valuum does fix the immediate anger issues and one can be normal 🙂

    PS, don’t tell Jenny, but I don’t think you’re as crazy as her at all…

    *usually*

  13. Well I have no advice. I took triphasil for about 7 years, maybe 8. Had no issues with it while on it. My issues started when I went off….thats a topic for another day. If it makes you feel any better, not getting pregnant when you want to be can also lead to mood swings, anger….yada yada yada.

  14. I highly suggest you try Mirena (the IUD). I’ve had all of the same issues you are experiencing with any of the pills I’ve ever tried. Anger, craziness and mood swings came with each pill I’ve ever tried. Even though I’ve never had children, I’ll be 34 in March, my doctor said that Mirena was an option for me since I don’t have any luck with the pills on the market. I wish you luck with Loestrin. That may have been the worst one for me.

  15. I hated Loestrin and now take Sprintec – only problem is that during the 7 placebo pill period (pardon the pun), I get migraines. To combat this, my dr put me on Vivelle Dot – what you take during menopause.

    Because of this, my insurance company decided that I must be menopausal and so cancelled my birth control prescription – said you can’t take both. Umm, yes you can cause I do? Finally got that mess straightened out.

    Was tempted to go with Mirena, but the information on the internet scares the absolute dickens out of me! a – I don’t need to be any more mental than I am; b – I don’t want to gain 20 lbs before I figure out it’s Mirena causing it; c – it just scares me.

    I’m with Jenny – add a little xanax to any all pills. :~)

  16. First of all, um Jenny, your mom knows what a vagina is! Second, I should have mentioned the vasectomy! This is office procedure people! Simple, quick and very effective! But, it’s permanent, repairing a vasc is difficult and expensive! My favorite story about a vasectomy, I asked a very nice patient of mine, what birth control are you using. She informed me her husband had a vasectomy. I congratulated her on their good choice, as I don’t get alot of men up for the snip. She calmly replyed, “when I had the last set of twins in the parking lot outside the hospital, I figured he could give a little.” So awesome.

  17. I HATE BC pills too! I had horrible issues with them and stopped using them altogether about 6 years ago. Have you read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility”? If you haven’t, you should! It teaches “how to practice the fertility awareness method (FAM), a natural, scientifically proven but little-known form of birth control (which is not to be confused with the woefully ineffective “rhythm” method)”. The book also helped me to know my body so well that I conceived both my boys on the first try (after being married for 8 years with no pregnancy, by choice).

    1. In regard to the FAM method. There’s a mobile app called Kindara that is awesome for that. IT not only helps track, but they have banked a TON of information on how and why etc. They’ve also created a thermometer called Wink that is set to release in early 2015 that automatically syncs with the app, making it almost effortless.

  18. For 16 years I have been on birth control, minus of course the 18 months I was pregnant or time it took to get pregnant with my two children. I turned 35 in October, have two kids and my husband, who will be 40 this year, and I decided we are happy with the size of our family. We opted for the Essure birth control. I went this past Tuesday for my confirmation test and am happy to say I am birth control free!!! Yay!!! I am getting ready to write about the experience, etc but two celebrities, Trista Sutter from the Bachelorette and Peakaboo Street fromt the Olympics have opted for the same! Good luck! And I can answer and questions!!!

  19. I have no advice on this front. Once we were done with having children, my husband scheduled his vasectomy and we’ve never looked back. I am VERY grateful to not be on hormones anymore and VERY grateful that he took the final initiative regarding birth control.

  20. Oh gosh, I read your post right after I LITERALLY just took my first YAZ pill! I haven’t been on BC in about 6 years so I’m a little nervous-especially after reading your post 🙂 I do have trouble with acne (which is no fun when you’re almost 30!) so I’m just praying this works for me with no crazy side effects.

  21. what about Paraguard – a non-hormonal option? I’ll be looking into that soon cause hormonal fluctuations give me major migraines! My sister is using it and likes it, but it does give you heavier periods.

  22. I’m w/ Christy up there — Taking Charge of Your Fertility ROCKED my world. We want a large family and aren’t opposed to any “surprise” babies, lol, but, all three on try number one w/ successful “preventing” in between pregnancies. Works for me.

  23. I am glad to hear I’m not alone in thinking all my birth control options suck! Natural family planning resulted in my first pregnancy arriving ahead of schedule. (I don’t really regret it, though.) I tried the Mirena IUD, but…I expelled it about a month and a half after having it put in. Gah. I wanted to try the NuvaRing, but it is SO expensive! My god! I’ve been on the mini-pill, but although the statistics say it is very effective, my doctor thinks I should not be on it now that my son is weaned. Gah!!!

  24. Great post! I went off all birth control 2 years ago. The loestrin made me INSANE and after reading about all the health issues, I’d just as soon risk pregnancy than the risks.

    xoMeg

  25. I’ve started Aviene about three weeks ago. I love it! It’s been easy to remember, my skin hasn’t gotten any better yet but no weight gain or weird emotions. I’ve actually been better than before.

  26. I have been on micronor for ten years with so side effects and no accidents. The failure rate isn’t that much higher than combined pills and you have less side effects.

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