Don’t Shark Where You Eat

no dumping

(So, first of all, if you’re *gasp* not a regular reader of Mommin’ It Up, you might want to read this to decode the title of this post. Ooh, mystery!)

The time is fast approaching when my kids are going to be too old for me to write about certain things they do or don’t do. And let’s face it, for this one, that time may already be past. But, since Emily loves it when I write about poop, I am going to throw this delightful tale in for old times’ sake. After all, I still have a two-year-old at home and my life is going to be ruled by my children’s bowels for a long time to come. For instance, nothing seems to move the aforementioned bowels like Mommy needing to get out of the house in a hurry. Which is why Jonah had to drop a deuce in his diaper two seconds after I needed to leave for physical therapy this morning. But anyway. Back to the dung at hand.

One of my children, who shall remain nameless, has a tendency to need to go #2 during a meal. This same child takes a book to the bathroom every time a poop is imminent. (Star Wars: The Visual Dictionary is currently the bathroom read du jour.) And, if we’re out to eat? The 20-minute doody session is a guarantee. This holds true even if it’s Grandma & Grandpa that are taking the kids out to dinner. I cannot tell you how  many times my dad has had to pass a quarter hour or more in the Frisch’s bathroom with this kid. It’s bad enough that I’m uncomfortable taking my kids out to eat by myself, because I don’t feel comfortable leaving a child in the public restroom by himself for 20 minutes, and I’m not taking ALL the kids into the bathroom for that long. Not to mention the un-named super pooper will complain violently about the embarrassment of having to go in the women’s restroom.

But seriously, what is UP with that? This phenomenon has been occurring for the better part of a year, I’d say. It does happen fairly often at home, but nothing guarantees it more than the anticipation of a grilled cheese & fries kids meal on order.

I hope he outgrows it, because it’s going to be extremely awkward going on dates to restaurants one day if not. Especially if he’s lugging around that giant Star Wars book to pass the time. Maybe I should get him a Kindle.

These are the bowels of my lives, people. The bowels of my lives.

Photo Credit: kagey_b via Compfight cc

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6 Replies to “Don’t Shark Where You Eat”

  1. My daughter also always goes to the bathroom when we go out to eat. Almost never when we are at home does she need to interrupt her meal to go, but always at a restaurant. Thankfully, it’s usually a 1 not a 2. And she’s pretty quick about it.

  2. Like I’ve always said, there’s something about being in a hurry to leave the house that makes a kid decide he needs to poop! I think men have a tendency to be long poopers too! My husband would kill me for saying this, but it’s a guaranteed half hour if he has to poop! What’s up with that!?! I totally don’t understand it!

  3. My son was exactly the same way. Always had to go during dinner. He is in 4th grade now and has mostly outgrown it but it went from the time he was potty trained until prob around 2nd or 3rd grade. Have fun!!

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