Today is a backwards edition of Works for Me Wednesday, so I am asking you dear readers for advice. Sophie, at 13 months, shows no sign of weaning from the breast. I mean, she will take a cup, except for when, you know, she wants to nurse!! At which time she will a) rub her face on any area of my body she can reach, or b) if I am holding her, pound on my shoulder blades until I give in. (My parents got to witness this phenomenon yesterday. For someone who doesn’t talk much Sophie is a very good communicator.) She also generally makes her trademark nails-on-the-chalkboard screech while doing these activities. I know I am going to have to get tough, but I haven’t had much experience with this because Joshua was vey easy to wean (have I mentioned he was the easiest baby ev-ah??) So, I would like to have this baby girl weaned about 8 weeks from now…how do I do it? Ready, set…solve my problems for me!!
If you want to solve other people’s problems for them, head over to Rocks in My Dryer!
My approach when a mother wants to wean (I’m a bf’ing counselor) is a gentle child-led one, basically a combination of LLL’s famous “don’t offer, don’t refuse” and some leading guidance from mom.
Try keeping her very busy – if she’s running around playing she isn’t asking. Try changing your routines around. If she usually nurses at a certain time, offer food or a drink first, before she asks. Sit in different chairs, play new games, etc., but if she’s really insistent I wouldn’t refuse. You’re not looking to wean by tomorrow, so you do have time for this type of approach. You can also start setting reasonable, age-appropriate limits. If for example you wanted to discourage night feeds, you could explain that the mommy milk (or whatever your term is) is sleeping right now, but it will wake up when it’s light out. During the day you could say “yes, I will bf you, as soon as we’ve done xyz” (after which she may forget, or if not you’ve still starting stretching the time between feeds”. Offer fun self-feeding snacks, drinks in a cute cup, be creative.
Trust yourself, and trust your daughter. Together you can get there in a way that works for BOTH of you.
I bf ‘d my 6 children and 1 week I would only nurse 3 times, morning, noon, and night. The next week only morning and night and the 3rd week and 4th week only at night. It’s hard, but it worked for me.
I am right there with you Jenny! Bryson (15 1/2 months now) is also showing no signs of weaning! I have tried to phase out the morning one first, and it’s like he needs it to get his day started out right! Kinda like us mommies who need our coffee in the morning! I want it to be “child-led”, but I don’t think I can take much more! He has extremely sharp top teeth that are leaving huge indentations each time he nurses! I haven’t dripped blood but can see tiny scabs forming! Not to mention that my DH and I would like to start trying for #2 in the near future, and AF still hasn’t paid me a visit! I am really gonna miss breastfeeding so it is hard for me not to “give in” when he whines for it!
Wish me luck and I will pass some your way too!
I’m not help – I nursed my older kid until she was 2.5, at which point I went on a trip and didn’t take her with me (had to go, couldn’t afford to take her!), and when I got home she STILL wanted to nurse. But every time she asked I said, “But honey, if I nurse you I have to go away again, and I want to stay with you!” and then she finally gave it up after a month.
It was bad, for both of us, and she’ll probably need therapy, but I’ve got a 9 month old who I’m nursing, too, and I just could NOT do tandem nursing anymore. Ugh.
Anyway, I feel ya, and if it’s any comfort, you can survive at least another year and a half. 🙂
No words of wisdom for you. My 14 mos old still nurses three times a day. My son nursed till about 17 mos and we quit cold turkey…I just wnated to be done. He started begging for it when I was pregnant. I let him b/c it was the only way he would go down for a nap and I was sooo tired. This went on till he was about 2 and then one day he told me “it’s digusting”. I think they stop when they are ready too.
Great question! I have a feeling my baby is going to be the same way. Good luck!
Does she take a bottle at all? I don’t care what’s in it, whether its milk, formula, water, or 50/50 juice and water…if she’ll take a bottle, put whatever she likes in it.
If she’ll do that, maybe (and this is a maybe ‘cuz all those weefolk are different) you can start a brand new, super fabulous, just Mommy and Sophie nap/nighttime routine with the Big Girl Sophie Bottle — paint it, put stars on it, get your Sharpies and get silly all over a bottle, make it look super special.
Talk it up to her, make a big deal of the bottle all day — put it in a special spot on the counter, and make sure she knows it’s hers, it’s special, and she can have it at nappy time and night time with her and Mommy
Then do the whole cuddle, stories, blanky and…SUPER SPECIAL BIG GIRL BA-BA routine at naptime. Again, give her something in it she LIKES to drink because at this point, you just want her to want the bottle and have success with it. You can worry about milk/formula/whatever after you get her hooked on her new routine.
My 3 all weaned pretty easily by 10 months, all different types of nursers, but the common thread I found was giving them a “mouthy” replacement at that nap/nighttime to comfort themselves a bit.
Take it or leave it! Good luck!
Still nursing my second–and planned last–child. She’s fifteen months old today. I’ll start weaning her soon and will probably follow the same method I used with my son (weaned him at fifteen months.) She gets extra time because she’s my last baby and I’m selfishly trying to keep her “little!”–though she’s still very into nursing too! I started just by cutting out the morning wake up feeding and plopping my son straight into his highchair for breakfast when he got up. Then I left out one afternoon feeding, then one midmorning feeding (alternating cutting out morning/afternoon feedings so my milk didn’t pool up or go away altogether) I started working a couple nights so I then cut out his bedtime nursing (previously a 2-plus hour marathon!) Last to go was the post-nap afternoon feeding. It was pathetic for a few weeks–we had taught him the sign for “more” and he would pat my chest and do the sign and say “Mo?Mo?” and cry. I stayed strong because at that point I felt I was only still nursing him for Me–he didn’t really need it anymore from a nutritional or nurturing standpoint–and it felt like it was time for me to let him move on to the next stage. Looking back though I believe I should have let him taper off that last feeding on his own. If you go back and forth for a few more months, what’s the harm? She’ll be a “big girl” sooner than you’re ready for her to be and nursing really is the sweetest thing 🙂
I have no advise. I am just here for support. I literally had to go on a three day mini vacation to wean my first son.. sound cruel, but he would not stop and per my lactation consultant she said this would be a good plan and he would never starve himself?? Well it worked.. I went away for 2.5 days and came home and we were done. That was at 15 months old. Good luck to you!!
If you want to take the no holds barred approach – I have some great stuff I had to get at the drug store for my seven year old to stop sucking her thumb. It is safe to ingest, but tastes NASTY! Yes, I did try it. It’s to help kids stop sucking their thumbs or pacifiers. I’ll give you some of that if you like. Maybe that will detour Sophie.
But seriously, I think I told you this already, but when both of my girls were 10 months old it was summer and I HAD to have allergy medicine. Sudafed dried me up QUICKLY… any anahistamine usually will. And, since there was no more milk in the tank the girls gave up sooner rather than later.
I too am in the same spot. I have a 17 month old son…and ‘milk’ is his greatest love…I taught him to ask in sign language ‘more..milk..please..” and so he’ll run up asking…and if he see’s that I am going to give in, he just grins and laughs, excited beyond measure….that’s the whole reason he’s not weaned yet…how do you tell them “never again”…it just makes his whole day perfect! I agree though that if they are busy, they don’t notice a missed feed here and there….my biggest problem is that he still feeds at night…because I am too lazy to fuss with him…I’d rather feed him and go back to bed!
I feel ya….last week I just had to tell Krisha to let go and let God. She totally got me and now we both feel much better.
Jk Jenny….I don’t know what to tell you. Both my girls were easy to wean. I know it wasn’t a million years ago or anything, but 18 years ago I wasn’t taught to feed on demand like they teach Moms now. When Tosh was born she seemed to be hungry every 2 hrs so that became our schedule. When she seemed to be eating less, I changed it to every 4 hours. She started sleeping through the night and nursed every 4 hours during the day. As soon as I gave her cereal (in the old days, we started them out with cereal before veggies), she started eating 3 meals a day with us and nursing at night. It wasn’t long until she gave the nursing up.
I will pray for your strength and wisdom….oh yeah and that screech too, for your sanity, it’s gotta go. LOL
As a first-time mom of a 10 month old boobie-addict, I’m clusess. Just wanted to let you know that you can find some good weaning advice at this blog:
http://thelactivist.blogspot.com/
The lactivist recently weaned her toddler, so you can find some good tips in her recent posts.
Good luck!
I had a friend who was still nursing her daughter when she turned 2. She had tried everything under the sun to wean this child from nursing. She finally bought a box of cute kiddy band-aids and started putting them over her nipples and when her daughter asked to nurse she showed her the band-aids and explained to her that Mama had a boo boo and had to leave the bandage on so it would get better. (she did in fact have boo boos better know as bite marks from her daughter’s nursing!!) It took a couple of weeks using band-aids but daughter was eventually weaned and boo boos were all better.