Each evening since Friday, my family and I have put on our jammies and headed downstairs to watch the Olympics. The time we’ve spent cuddling on the couch together… all four of us, me sans the computer (I know, my family can’t believe it either)… combined with my general love of the Olympics… it has been, in a word, perfect.
However, I have a few comments regarding the Olympic games. Isn’t there a comedian whose thing is “What’s the deal with that?” (Ok I just asked my husband that question and got a monologue about what a genius Jerry Seinfeld is.) In any case, back to my Olympic observations – to quote Jerry Seinfeld … “What’s the deal with that?”
First of all, what is the deal with all the figure skaters being married and/or otherwise attached to their skating partners? When we were watching the short program the other day, it seemed like they described every team as “a couple on and off the ice.” For example…
The gold medal winners, China’s Zhao Hongbo and Shen Xue – married. And tell me this isn’t the cutest picture ever.
The whole time I was watching the competition I was wondering how it is that all these couples find each other. I mean, do they pair up first? One day is the guy like “What do you want to do this weekend?” and the girl’s like “I don’t know. How about we become professional figure skaters?” Or is it more like “Since I spend three hours a day with my hand in your crotch anyway, let’s get hitched!”? I don’t know.
Also, what is the deal with the X-games champs who are competing in the two billion-year-old tradition of the Olympics and still can’t bear to leave their freaking iPods at home? Seriously, are we boring you? You can’t make it down the mountain at 80 miles per hour without some kind of entertainment? They’re probably texting and checking Facebook as well.
Finally, for the love of God, what is the deal with all the commercials?? Andy and I are trying to instill a love of the Olympics in our children, and for the 15 seconds per half an hour that NBC is actually showing athletes competing, our kids are all about it. For the other 29 minutes and 45 seconds, where it’s one part stories of heroic triumph over adversity and three parts McDonald’s commercials, you’ve lost them.
And really, while we’re on the subject, if I see the one with the hockey coach telling his team “You played like Olympians, now let’s eat like Olympians!” one more time, I might throw a shoe through the television. I am pretty sure an Egg McMuffin isn’t the breakfast of champions.
What is the deal with that?
The first place Michael Phelps went after winning his 8th gold medal and stopping at the bong shop was Mickey D’s. They can’t eat that crap while training. And neither should we.
As to the commercials, the are annoying, but Bob Costas is worse!!
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A couple of observations:
1. i can hear andy giving you that lecture about jerry seinfeld and big rick and i would have been in the background yelling “preach on, brotha”. to paraphrase yoda (in honor of andy), disappointed in you, i am.
2. i have been BEGGING tom to start up a street couples figure skating gang. so far, he has no interest. i will keep you posted.
3. i would be willing to bet any amount of money i have spent more than 10 saturday mornings with you where you would have furiously argued that the egg mcmuffin was, in fact, the breakfast of not only champions, but kings, emperors, celebrities, and the president. i seen you threaten to cut a man for a mcdonald’s hashbrown. before you write things like this, remember there are some of us who religiously read this blog who were around back in the day.
4. sh%t. thinking the egg mcmuffin is not the breakfast of champions is prolly how you reached your lifetime member status. maybe i should redact comment 3 and rethink my nutritional philosophy. nope. not gonna do it.
Oh my gosh! The comments on this post are ALMOST as funny as your line about the crotch. I am dying!
And Egg McMuffins are not on my training table, but Cinnamelts sure are!!
LOL. Wow, that is one funny post!
My husband only watches figure skating for the crotch grabs. We place bets before the couples get on the ice on the number of crotch grabs. Don’t ask what we’re betting for. 😉
The single competition doesn’t get much air time with us. We rip on their outfits and hair then change the channel.
Best Olympic post yet!
Gina is SO correct — disappointed in you I am, too. Preach it, Andy — the Gospel of Seinfeld must be heard!
Wordy mcwordersons.
I tried to get O into watching the Olympics this year. It’s not working so much. The other day he told me “Well, these commercials are kinda cool.” (It was the one that mixed the “How to Train Your Dragon” with Olympics.) I don’t blame him though–all we see are COMMERCIALS. He’s also very worried about the well being of the woman who snowboards into outer space.
I heard (probably from Bob Costas) that the married Chinese pairs ice skaters live at the training facility – in separate dorm rooms. Does that count as being married?
I agree that there are way too many commercials on during the Olympics. However I think they are better than this year’s superbowl commercials. The one with the parents racing to get the Happy Meal to their kid first is hilarious “thanks mom!”.
Crotch – ROFL!! That is SO true ya know!
Actually, I heard that the guy in one of the skating couples is dating the girl from another couple (from his country). It seems like that could lead into a Nancy Kerrigan bashing if the other partner guy’s hand slips up or something kwim 🙂
On the x-games champs. They are showboating and losing out on frickin’ gold medals for the US! What is the deal with THAT!!!
Woah, I totally agree. McMuffins are not a breakfast of champions but a Sausage Biscuits and hashbrowns definitely are!!!
Haha! I say the same thing about the mcDonald’s commercials- although their fries make me drool, I don’t see any athletes chowing down there!