Posted on by Emily

My parenting has reached an all-time low.

At least according to my daughter, it has.

I think Super Nanny would actually be proud.

Kate has always had a, ahem, dramatic side, and since she’s gone to kindergarten it’s gotten worse… especially at bedtime. She used to go to sleep like a dream – books, prayers, hugs and kisses and we’re outta there. But for the last month or so, it’s taken us hours to get her to actually go to sleep. She always needs one more drink of water, one more hug, one more stuffed animal.

And the mommy guilt? She lays it on thick. She cries and says she misses me, which hits this working mom where it hurts. So I stay and give her one more drink of water, one more hug, one more stuffed animal. And she knows that.

I had a long talk with some of my best mom friends on Friday, and they confirmed my suspicions.

Girlfriend is playing me like a fiddle.

So I decided that it’s time to get hardcore with her, because not only does it drive me batshit crazy frustrate me, but it needs to stop so she can actually get the sleep she needs.

Fast forward to tonight… we went through the bedtime routine and everything, and then I told her I was going to chat on skype and write a blog post bed. I hugged her and kissed her, covered her up, turned off the lights and shut the door.

And that’s when the drama began.

She fuh-reaked out. She cried and yelled and screamed and then she brought out the big guns.

“My mommy doesn’t love me!”

“I’m sooooo saaaaad because my mommy won’t listen to me and she doesn’t love meeeeeee!”

“I misssssss myyyyyy mommmmmmmyyyyyy!”

She tried to comfort herself. “Don’t cry, Kate, it’s ok.” And then she got practical and started worrying about the future. “How am I going to take care of myself??? How am I going to earn money??? My mommmmyyyyy doesn’t looovvvvvee meeee. She treats me like a dumpster”

At this point I’m transcribing her antics to the girls on Skype, and they’re begging me to get out the video camera. I asked them if it would ruin her life if I blogged about it, and Tricia kindly said, “Does it matter? Sounds like you’ve already ruined it.” Point taken. Blogging it is.

After much coughing and trying to warn us that she couldn’t even breathe, “Can you hear me?? I can’t even say a word!” she came out of her room. I used the Super Nanny method and took her straight back to bed and said “Goodnight, darling” and then left.

She half-heartedly tried to give me another guilt trip, but by that time I think she’d figured out it wasn’t going to work.

All is silent in her room now. I think she’s asleep. Either that or she’s quietly planning my untimely demise.

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25 Replies to “My parenting has reached an all-time low.”

  1. You go Mommy!!! My youngest uses a lot of the same tactics with me, too, and has on occasion for years. I have found that she craves the structure and the boundaries. Stick to your guns for a few nights and you should be fine – so will she.

  3. I think your 5 year old and my 4 1/2 year old have been exchanging trade secrets because she’s up to all the same tricks.

    I’ve compromised and I’ll stay in my daughter’s room for up to 15 minutes IF she stays quiet. Every question leads me further out the door.

  5. LOL!! I would have DIED laughing so hard. Mine are 7 and 10 now, so they know when they do something dramatic it’s likely going to be blogged. Now it’s my threat- “do you want me posting this on Facebook?” LOL Oh the looks I get 😉

  6. In that case, I’ll be the oboe to your fiddle. I’m pretty sure my two-year old is doing the same thing, though not quite so eloquently. I hope she catches on quick, and is not in fact plotting your untimely demise. 🙂 Way to stick to your guns, Mom!

  7. Josie lets everyone know that I am MEAN…so of course I say well good, then I am doing my job! She NEVER gets her way and can’t do anything she wants…blah blah blah…nice to know they start plotting at 5! 🙂

  8. OH my gosh!!! I was reading this while my fourth graders were silently working and I started laughing out loud. HILARIOUS! I have a two year old with a little dramatic side and I’m just waiting for this day! Too funny!!!!!

  10. Oh Emily…good for you!! I don’t know how you didn’t manage to just laugh, well, I can, but you know. Kate sounds like a ham! Hopefully, it will be smooth sailing from here on out!

  11. I’m so glad I’m not alone. I told my daughter yesterday that when she is five she will have to start sleeping by herself. Ugh. I told her she had a couple of months to think about it.

  12. How did you keep a straight face? I would have been cracking up, but then, that’s how I did it with my son last night. Thanks for reminding us that every parent goes through something like this!!!

  13. You go, girl! I’m so proud of you! Super Nanny would be too. Kate’s drama-queen status and the fact that she’s smarter than the average bear may yet be the death of you, but for now it sounds like you have a handle on it. 🙂

    Em

  16. Great post. My son did this for SO LONG. Sometimes it still rears its ugly head and we let him cry it out. He doesn’t seem to even remember it in the morning.

  18. Crap, this just made my day!!!! I totally wish you would have gotten that video camera out though!! Her saying she can’t breathe – that cracks me up even more!!! They don’t get that if you can talk, you can breathe… I’m sure Kate will only despise you a little for being so mean! 🙂

  19. You treat her like a dumpster? You’ll have to give me lessons on how to do that!

    Just wait until Sammy is older and they gang up on you. Just wait!

  20. Oh that would drive me nuts – so far my boys don’t pull that stuff, I’m always cranky by bedtime so I think they know how “no-nonsense” I’ll be about any crap they try.

  23. I think you did a great job! I know I would have caved in- it’s something I’m working on, ha!

    Hopefully it will get easier as she gets more used to the new routine.

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