The other day a friend and I were talking on the phone about someone whose personal hygiene was um, less than hygienic. “Why doesn’t she bathe?” I pondered. “I LOVE bathing!”
But I must admit that isn’t exactly true. I love being ABLE to bathe, but I am too lazy to actually say I love the process. In fact, as a girly girl who loves fashion and makeup, I am kind of a poser. Because although I do love stylish clothes and shiny lip gloss, I do not enjoy the process of grooming. I would rather skip the whole cleansing-moisturizing-dressing-hair styling process ’twere it a possibility. In fact I have decided that if I had a superpower, it would be the ability to snap my fingers or wiggle my nose and be perfectly dressed, coiffed, and made up.
I am slightly embarrassed to say that I didn’t think of this great idea for a superpower myself, but I saw it many years ago on an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when Willow the witch was running late and waved her finger in the air and went from just-showered to fully-clothed in an instant. (Just for the record, in case some of you are praying for my soul right now, I don’t advocate witchcraft but Jesus and I have talked it over and even though I love Buffy I am quite certain my salvation is still intact.)
But anyhoo. When you are in the shower and you have two kids running around having “emergencies” while you still have shampoo in your hair (yesterday it was Joshua saying “Mama! Sophie fell off the bed!” and me saying, “Well, she must be ok because I don’t hear her crying.”) having the getting-ready superpower doesn’t sound so much witchy as it does divine.
But even so, I think I *might* just be willing to sell my soul in exchange for legs that would shave themselves!
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Photo by Nellee100 on Flickr
See if you can get a two-for-one deal on souls. This morning we saw a commercial for some new Dove deodorant that supposedly makes hair softer/grow more slowly. Andy turned to me and said, “Hmmm… that sounds like a good idea.” Lovely.
Amen, sister!
Seriously though, why doesn’t she like to bathe? Tossing of your cares and your stinks in a shower or bath with lovely smelling suds and no one bothering you for at least 20 minutes? What part of that doesn’t sound inviting?
I’m not even asking for shaving – just bathing – with soap. I don’t have to touch her hairyness, but I can’t help but smell her in the instance that we have to be in the same room.
lol!
I would totally sell my soul for never having to shave again. I wouldn’t even have to think twice about it. 😉
Confession time – I’m not going anywhere today. I’m not showering today… seems kinda pointless, if you ask me. I’m still in my pjs and no bra, and I’m not planning on changing that anytime soon. I’m praying that no one comes to my front door, but if they do I’ll run and hide until they leave the porch.
And I like it this way… at least for today.
Stubble…sexy on Brad Pitt’s face, no so much on Angelina’s legs…hummmmmmm?
I need to take a shower every day. It is like I can’t sleep if there is still funk on my body.
Oh, honey, I am SO with you. I HATE the whole getting-beautiful process. It’s such a waste of time — I just have to do it again tomorrow! On weekends I usually fail to engage in said process unless I have somewhere to go. Don’t tell anyone.
I’m with you. Snap. Snap. I would even settle for super slo-mo Jetson’s style where a conveyor belt takes me through the process while I sleep!
Yet another way that we are freakily (is that word? my spell check doesn’t think so! lol) similar! I like not feeling frumpy but sometimes the sheer time and effort it takes to unfrumpify (I’m makin’ up words today!) myself makes my eyes cross and my fingers twitch.
I also like Laurin’s idea! That would great, especially if a pedicure was part of the process 🙂
I can’t believe you were talking about me again!
Legs that would shave themselves? Heavenly!
And speaking of…I love that you and Jesus have talked about Buffy. 🙂
Gah, me too. It’s such a production, the post-shower routine. I don’t mind the showering..it’s the hair do-ing, lotion-ing, teeth brushing, etc. Such a chore.