Grandma Said WHAT?

On Thursday, my paternal Grandma, who will be 90 on the 28th of this month (and is EXTREMELY excited about her birthday party, for real. Not kidding.) fell in her driveway and broke her arm. My Grandma is very spunky and feisty, and always has been. One of my favorite quotes of hers is, (in response to a whiny child I am sure), “You can want in one hand and poop in the other, and see which ones gets full first.” Ahh, I love that one! But anyways, back to her arm. Like all good stubborn old ladies do, she waited until the next day “to see if it would get better” before going to the emergency room. So Friday, she was at the hospital getting poked, prodded, and x-rayed, as well as having the broken arm set. They kept her for one night and on Saturday she got to go home.

I went to visit her and my Grandpa that afternoon at their home. Grandpa had gone across the street to check on a neighbor (whose wife had fallen earlier in the week and was still in the hospital – rough week for octogenarians on their street!) so just Grandma and I sat and chatted. I asked her how her pain was and she said her arm didn’t hurt any more but that she was very sore in her lower half from her fall.

“And they hurt me when they did the x-ray,” she complained. “They pulled my knees up in the air and the took a picture of everything. I hope they don’t put it on the computer for a p*rno.”

My mouth dropped open. WHAT? Did she really say that? My 90-year-old pastor’s-wife grandmother? And did she really think some pervy x-ray tech was going to put pictures of her old lady parts on the interwebz?

She looked me straight in the eye. She wasn’t kidding.

“Uh, well, um, I’m sure they won’t.” I sputtered reassuringly.

Needless to say, I don’t remember the rest of our conversation. But that bit is seared into my memory.

Oh, and if you’re reading this, Pervy X-ray Tech, do the world a favor and please keep those photos under wraps, mmkay?