This afternoon, I was driving through a small town (not the one where I live, fortunately, or even the one next to it) and happened to notice a new dance studio. The parking lot was full and lots of little girls in tutus were heading to and from class.
As I drove by, I caught sight of a family out of the corner of my eye.
I spotted them just as the dad hauled off and hit the mom on the arm. Not playfully, not jokingly. He hit her violently. In a parking lot full of other people, as she held the hand of her little girl.
I gasped as my hand flew to my mouth, which alarmed Kate. I had no words for what I had just seen – none that I could tell her, anyway. I made up a clumsy story about a dog running out into the road.
The vision is burned into my mind.
Here’s what I keep thinking. Until today, I had never seen such a thing. I had never seen a man hit a woman. Truly. I’d never seen it. I’m 30 years old.
That three-year-old can’t say the same thing. Her little eyes have seen it. She saw it today and has probably seen much worse countless times. More than likely, she will continue to see it. She might even think it’s normal.
It breaks my heart.
Emily you are pretty lucky that you have not seen it.
I can tell you I lived it as an innocent child and I have lived it as a naive adult. But I can tell you from a victim stance when she says enough is enough she will not put up with it anymore. That is what I did and what many other woman have done. I believe our place in the world is stand by and help these woman know that there is a way out. That they can make it on their own. That they deserve better.
I pray that her daughter will not think that this is acceptable that she will choose a different path. And that the mom will WAKE up and realize that she wants better for herself and for her kids.
Thanks for sharing. I know this was more than you were expecting.
I’m afraid I would have lost control of the car and careened through the parking lot!
UP
I was thinking the same thing, UP! Too bad there wasn’t a dog to swerve and miss, accidentally hitting the REAL dog.
Being in a job where I’m constantly in people’s lives, I often say, you don’t know what goes on in someone’s home until you’ve gone through their front door. Every once in awhile you get a glimpse, like you did, how awful. I remind myself every day, There but by the grace of God go I.
At my “advanced age” I have never seen it,either. We are privileged to have seen life as it was meant to be. It is a responsibility as a mother of a son to teach him how to treat women. Having a gentle husband as a role model for him is more than half the battle. Thankful that all of the girls in my close family,including Mackenzie, have that kind of husband.
Emily, that is terrible. I’ve never seen that sort of thing either. Which I’d never realized until reading your post. I’m stunned reading about your experience; I can’t imagine how much harder it would be to actually SEE it happen in front of me.
It’s sad to think about how many times that little girl may have already seen it happen. :o(
That is crazy. When I was 16 or 17, I saw a man smacking his wife as they were driving down the road passed me. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do (write down his plates? call the police? etc). It’s heartbreaking to think that a man would ever do that to his wife. Even more heartbreaking that his daughter was a witness.