A Backseat Driver and a HOTT Mom

They (and by “they” I mean Justin Timberlake) say “what goes around comes around.”

If that is true then I am getting my just desserts, because my son has become, at the ripe old age of three-and-almost-a-half, a backseat driver. A bad one. My husband would say that not long ago, I too could claim that title. But I learned after a few years that he didn’t appreciate it and I was wise to bite my tongue and clench my fists when I thought he should stop, go, slow down, speed up, or go a different route.

Now, it’s my turn to get “directed” by Joshua. Yesterday I had to yell at him in the car (and I am NOT a yeller with my kids) because he was pressuring me as I was trying to back out of the driveway. We live on a very busy street, and there is a side street directly behind our driveway, so sometimes it takes a while to get a break in the traffic when trying to back out. So I look left, I look right, I look in the rearview, I repeat the process for freaking EVER until finally I get a chance to go. Here’s what I dealt with while trying that yesterday:

“Go Mommy. Go. GO MOMMY! It’s our turn it’s our turn it’s our turn GO MOMMY!”

The kid had me so flustered I nearly hit the gas and shot backward into oncoming traffic just so he’d stop! But wisely, I yelled at him instead. Then, once I had his attention, gave him a nice lecture about how he could not tell Mommy what to do, and how I didn’t need his help driving. Then, I proceeded to wait all over again for my turn to get on the road! Let’s hope he got the point.

In other driving news, tonight on the way to dinner with a girlfriend (for the first time in like 487 years), some guy in a black Camaro TOTALLY drove next to me on purpose and tried to catch my eye for the longest time. I did have my children with me (swapped them with my hubby at his workplace on my way to dinner), but apparently, I’m too sexy for my mom sedan and my two kids in car seats in the back. That’s right, I’m HOTT (with two T’s. That is not a typo). Who knew?

We are very happy to announce that thanks to you, our loyal readers, and Karen at pediascribe.com, “When Motherhood Meets HAZMAT” was declared the winner of the “Klean” dirty story contest. Thanks to everyone who voted!!