Why ask why?

Intellectually I know that it’s a good thing my daughter is so inquisitive… but sometimes it still drives me nuts.

For example, every night when we’re reading a book before bed, she has to ask me about 29 questions about what’s happening on each and every page of the book before we can move on.

The worst part is that she knows what’s going on, she is just stalling, trying to make story time last as long as humanly possible. This gets on my every last nerve, because by this time, all I want to do is go to bed.

Go with me, if you will, to Kate’s room on any given night (a room, I might add, painted in “Bonita Berry,” otherwise known as the color of Dora’s shirt). Tonight we’re reading “Olivia,” one of our favorites.

This is how it goes.

Me: This is Olivia. She is good at lots of things.
Kate: What’s she doing, Mommy?
Me: She’s singing. She is very good at wearing people out. She even wears herself out.
Kate: Why is she laying down?
Me: Because she wore herself out. Olivia has a little brother named Ian. He is always copying.
Kate: Why is she all grown up?
Me: She’s not, she’s just wearing her mommy’s make-up.
Kate: Why is Ian always copying?
Me: Because he wants to be like Olivia. Sometimes Ian just won’t leave her alone, so Olivia has to be firm.
Kate: Why does she have to be firm?
Me: Because Ian won’t leave her alone. Olivia lives with her mother, her father, her brother, her dog, Perry, and Edwin the cat. (Here I point to each character because I already know she’s going to ask me which one is which, even though it is blatantly obvious).
Me: In the morning, after she gets up, and moves the cat…
Kate: Why does she move the cat?
Me: Because he’s in her way. And brushes her teeth, and combs her ears, and moves the cat,
Kate: Combs her ears! That’s silly.
Me: Olivia gets dressed. She has to try on everything.
Kate: Mommy, why is she wearing that dress?
Me: I don’t know!
Me: On sunny days… (at this point we usually get through a page or two, so I will spare you the details. I’m guessing half of you could recite it anyway). When her mother sees she’s had enough, they go home.
Kate: Why is she pink?
Me: That’s what happens if you don’t wear sunscreen.
Kate: I want to be pink.
Me: Then don’t wear sunscreen. On rainy days, Olivia likes to go the museum. She heads straight for her favorite painting.
Kate: Mommy, it’s PICTURE. Why isn’t Ian paying attention?
Me: Because he’s bored. Art museums are boring. (Ok, I don’t really say that.) Olivia looks at it for a long time. What could she be thinking?
Kate: Mommy, why is Ian so small?
Me: Because he’s far away. But there is one picture (I like to mess with her)…
Kate: It’s PAINTING.
Me: … that Olivia just doesn’t get. “I could do that in about five minutes,” she says to her mother. As soon as she gets home she gives it a try.
Kate: Let’s see if it looks the same (flipping back and forth). Nope, this one’s got red in it.
Me: Time out.
Kate: Why did she get time out?
Me: Because she painted on the walls. After a nice bath, and a nice dinner, it’s time for bed. But of course Olivia’s not at all sleepy… When they’re finished reading, Olivia’s mother gives her a kiss and says, “You know, you really wear me out. But I love you anyway.” And Olivia gives her a kiss back and says, “I love you anyway, too.”

We’re finally done. It’s just shy of midnight.

Ugh. If you think this is bad, you should see us trying to decide which of the 101 Dalmations is which. That is really fun.

And the best thing she’s learned from Olivia? Negotiating about how many books to read each night. Up until this book came along, she thought “Thou shall read only one book per night” was one of the Ten Commandments. Now we play “Let’s Make a Deal.”

Kate, you really wear me out. But I love you anyway.