Posted on by Jenny

Patience is a Virtue

what-evs, Mom

One of the things that has been good about Joshua going to school this year is the special time I get to spend alone with Sophie. Since she was my second-born, I obviously didn’t get too much alone time with her when she was a baby. And she and I are loving our time together.

Last Friday I needed to go to Kroger, but wanted to give Sophie a fun outing before I imprisoned her in a shopping cart (although truthfully, if I can get one of those race car carts, she’s pretty happy!) so we went to Tim Horton’s for a donut. Since our last pre-Kroger T-Ho’s run had ended in me getting a verbal spanking from the super-conscious folks who make Clorox wipes, I decided to go into Tim Horton’s to dine this time.

I sat Sophie at a table near the counter and ordered our donuts. Then, I turned to give her a reassuring smile while I waited for our order to be brought to the counter.

“Have my donut?” said Sophie.

“It’s coming sweetie, we have to wait our turn.”

Sophie likes waiting about as much as she likes getting her hair brushed, so she responded with a loud, disgruntled FUSS.

“No fussing,” I admonished her. “Say, ‘I’ll have patience.'”

My blonde little angelic-looking daughter narrowed her eyes, opened her mouth and screamed in a voice that was straight from Hades:

“I’LL HAVE PATIENNNNNCCCCCCE!”

Her scream was SO loud, and SO – well, scary – that the guy in line in front of me jumped about a foot in the air. When he turned to see the source of the fury, he cracked up laughing.

And so did I. Instead of scolding Sophie, I just dissolved into laughter. Hey, I told her to say “I’ll have patience” and she said the heck out of it. In a really distinct “Sophie” way.

Just then our donuts came up, and we dug in to some chocolate, sugary, donutty goodness. And Sophie didn’t even fuss when she asked for another one and I said “no”. So it wasn’t a total fail in the parenting column, right?

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18 Replies to “Patience is a Virtue”

  7. Enjoyed reading this post, Jenny, as I could have put my three year old’s name in the place of Sophia. It is a good reminder to me that there are indeed, other moms, going through the same “trenches.”

  8. That’s a good tactic. I think I’ll try that on my three-year-old: “I’ll have patience,” “I’ll be kind to my brother,” “I’ll use the potty all the time from now on.” Hee!

    It’s hard to blame her, though, not wanting to wait for a donut….

  9. I’m a Grammy of a 3.5 year old and and find your Blog delightful. Can’ wait to share it with my friend(daughter in law). Sounds like Sophie is great at expressing herself. Go Sophie and Go Sophie’s mom! My new advice, when asked, for my grandson’s mom is….. LOL- Laugh Out Loud. I’m adding a link to your Blog.

  12. Really, Momof6? I’m sure you’ve never had a difficult, funny or outrageous parenting moment. I’m sure your children are angels (zombies) who never ever misbehave in public. Moms need to start building each other up and stop participating in the “mommy wars”. I’m proud of Jenny for being able to tell her stories with humor and honesty and being able to let go enough to enjoy a donut with her daughter. I hope you can let go of your superiority complex long enough to see how hurtful your comments were.

  13. That’s a great story I know every mom can relate to (especially a Mother of 6 – wow!) – Every day needs a little bit of grace with precociousness… I love it! Sophie is adorable!

  14. I saw your comment on facebook and had to check out the critic. I reread your post, and still don’t see how a stranger could call your child a “brat”. That’s just rude. Don’t people have better things to do than nit pick at your post. I’m always astounded how peolple are so critical yet they are the ones who came to your page to read it. If they don’t like your blog they don’t have to read it. Unless, Jenny, you are twisting their arms and rewarding them with donuts. In that case, where’s mine? I prefer DD, by the way.

  15. AS A MOM of 8: Mom of 6…How did you get “brat” out of this story???? Please learn to laugh at your children and see the joy in times like Jenny had with sophie. Jenny was being a great mom TEACHING so-so to be patient. Sophie responded as a child who was trying very hard to be good…..do you not see that? My 3 year old would have done the same and I KNOW FOR A FACT jenny does not reward bad behavior….ease up please….

    Jenny you are a great mom….keep it up!

  16. momof6- calling a child a brat is a form of verbal abuse. If this is what you call a stranger’s child- I can only imagne what you say to yours. Stop the cycle of hate. I’ll be praying. And yes, I know what I am talking about.
    Jenny- you are a wonderful mother to a sweet and spirited child. Kudos to you for steering her in the right direction. I know I’ve had several moments like that with M (and my 21 preschoolers). It’s very hard for a 3 year-old to learn patience. Experts say that it takes at least 7 times of saying something to a child of that age to have something “sink in”. So by her repeating you on the first try- I’d say that was a parenting WIN!
    Much love.

  17. Are you people kidding me? No, none of my children would scream in public, because they have been taught manners and respect for other people. This is NOT a funny little story, this is a child acting like a brat (oh, I’m SO abusive for calling a child a brat!) Let me know in ten years how well your lovely little brats behave. For the record, I don’t call my children names, my children are well behaved because they have grown up in a home where it is expected that they be polite and kind and not obnoxious in public. If my child behaved that way I would certainly not then reward her with a donut, because the very next time her patience is tested, she is going to respond the same way. That’s not teaching her anything except how to get her way.

  18. Just to be clear, in this situation, there was more to be gained by my having a pleasant treat with my daughter than would have been gained by me hauling her donutless and sad out of the Tim Horton’s.

    I shared the story of the donut in a post because it was funny, it cracked me up, and I knew my readers would get a kick out of it.

    I don’t feel I owe you or anyone else an explanation, but I have written this because it hurts me to think that anyone would think ill of my daughter – or that my words would give them a less than favorable impression of her. My days with her are filled with all the normal frustrations and endless, irreplaceable joys of motherhood. If you want to know what she is really like, and what most of our days are like together, then you should read this post: http://momminitup.com/being-a-mom/when-she-takes-my-hand/

    Also, dear friends, when I tried to respond to Momof6 personally with the above comment, it came back undeliverable – she used a fake email address to comment apparently – so let’s all just stop feeding the troll, so to speak.

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