…and that somebody is nearly always my son Joshua, he of the overactive gag reflex. Joshua has puked many, many places, including my car, the mall playplace, a playdate, and my babysitter’s 18th birthday party. Yesterday, he added my brother’s house to the list as he brought the fun to our family’s Memorial Day party. But this time, it was my fault! You see, I decided to let him be a big kid and drink pop like his cousins. So, I gave him a big plastic cup half-full with a mixture of Big Red and Sierra Mist. Joshua rarely ever gets to drink pop (even though I drink it like it’s my JOB – bad Mommy!). Soooo rarely, in fact, that I’d forgotten that the last time I let him be a big kid and drink pop, he threw up. Whoops!
So. A few minutes into lunch, when he came and laid on the couch and said his stomach hurt, I went on high alert. “Sit up, Buddy,” I commanded, “You cannot throw up on Aunt Sarah’s nice couch!”
“I do have to choke,” he said solemnly. (He calls throwing up “choking”.) I grabbed him and ran at super-human speed for the bathroom, where Joshua proceeded to hurl his entire lunch and plastic cup full of Big Red & Sierra Mist into my brother’s toilet. After he was done, he looked up at me, overwhlemed and teary-eyed, but relieved. Poor baby!
Then, suddenly, he made and ungodly sound and puked all over my right foot. Missed the toilet by a mile. And of course I was wearing my Trello sandals. So, open-toed shoes with square holes all over them = a very pukey foot – one that will serve as a nasty reminder next time I think about letting him drink pop!!
Oh, Joshupants, thanks for making our family get-together a real party! Since it was clear at that point that your uncles weren’t going to take their shirts off and shoot at each other in the front yard, we definitely needed some excitement!
you forgot the very coordinated “puke in a plate” catch I made at your birthday party at the church – as you said Joshua livens up every party
was that at my birthday party?? I think that was at Kathy’s baby shower…unless it was at both! That was a nice catch though!
you are right – it was the shower
Poor baby. You and your mom are cracking me up in the comments.
Sorry about the foot.
Definitely adds some excitement.
Maybe Joshua is subconciously aware of your pop addiction and his body has chosen to reject it so he doesn’t end up in the same sad shape. Just kidding!
Hey, you almost puked the other night over coffee, tea, and buckeyes.
ugh, I am gagging right now thinking of puke squishing between my toes…
AGHH!
1) you were moving faster than I have ever seen you move before – very impressive!
2) this uncle is ready for a barechested shootout anytime!
I find it highly amusing that your family has a mental highlight film of memorable puke plays.
I was beginning to be upset that I missed the puke incident at your b-day party, but relieved when I discovered it was actually a shower, at which, I was not in attendance.
Luanne–it was coffee, tea, SOUP, and buckeyes. And why did Jenny almost puke? I’m the one who hogged the buckeyes….
Dsto–speaking of puke squishing between toes…I have a doozy. I was 10, in Hawaii w/ my grandparents. I kept telling them I was sick and needed to go back to the hotel, but the insisted on marching forward to the Dole factory. Once on the elevator, I puked all over myself, and my granny’s sandaled feet. We quickly rode the elevator back down, got off, and as we were scurrying to make it out the door before we got “caught”, a group of people in business suits were about to board the elevator from which we had just departed. Needless to say there were moans and groans, and one man said “let’s take the stairs!” Naturally, I was humiliated. I had on a necklace made from those little shells, they’re called “puka beads” (puka shells) So from then on my Papau always asked me “where are your pukey beads?!” I really resented it until about, um, 2 months ago. 🙂
jenny and I used to have a list of 40+ words for vomit. I wonder whatever happened to that list. We could so put it to use on this blog.