Because potty training is such a major milestone in both a child and a mother’s lives, I’ve decided to regale you with yet another tale from that era of my life. I started potty training Joshua a year ago, when he was about 27 months old. I gave up (the first time) three months later, partly because he just didn’t give a crap (pun intended) WHERE he peed, and he preferred to poop in his pants. Actually, truth be told, he preferred, while we were potty training, not to poop AT ALL, and he became chronically constipated from trying to hold it in for three months! So I set out on a quest to get him regular again. Yes, another thing I can blame myself for: my son’s inability to push one out. Ahh the mother’s guilt! It’s so constant it’s almost comforting….oh wait no it’s not.
To prepare for “Operation: Poopshoot” I went to my favorite book, Toddler 411 and got a list of fun fiber foods to go grocery shopping for. I hit Kroger’s, got the stuff and that evening I was “rewarded” for my efforts with a slightly softer than normal poop from Joshua. I could see that he was going, and he looked at me and he said “It’s ok if I poop in my pants.” (Which is what I had been telling him ever since we ceased potty training. Cause I just wanted him to POOP!) And I said, “It sure is, buddy, you go for it!” So anyhoo, a few minutes later I had to change this bad boy, and it was RANK!! And then I tried to cover it up with Lysol and it almost made it worse! Rank poop mixed with Lysol is just not pretty. Yee-ikes.
The next night, my husband Bobby and I got to “reap the fruits” of his high-fiber diet once again when we were enjoying a family dinner at Boston Market (I was ginomrously pregnant and NOT COOKING at the time) and he LAID ONE ON US. Of course being the stellar parents that we are, we had no diaper bag with us. So then we had to go to Home Depot to get some stuff for the baby’s room and Joshua stunk that place up, and by the time we got home, Bobby’s car was smelling pretty….um…toxic. My husband earned big “Daddy points†by changing that poop when we got home. Here are his comments on that event:
Bobby: “That was the nastiest poop I have ever changed in my life.”
Me: “Was it less hard than usual?” (Meaning: “was it a constipated rock poop?”)
Bobby: “It was very soft, and he pooped through his diaper. And despite my best efforts, I got poop on the floor, on my jeans, and on his jeans. And there’s no way you could’ve changed it without barfing.”
Thus began “The Clean-Out,†as I refer to it. Mmmm…misty water-color memories. After that, Joshua began pooping normally in his diaper for SEVERAL more months until he was finally trained. And by finally, I mean ten months after I originally started training him. As a side note, I’d like to say that Toddler 411 didn’t come out until August 28th, 2006. If it had come out earlier I would’ve realized earlier that Joshua just wasn’t ready for the potty yet. But then I wouldn’t have had such a glorious tale to tell, either
That story was hysterical! I myself have 3 boys…12, 9 and 9 months. One of the main reasons it took me 8 years to have the third was the nightmare it was to potty train the middle child. He was AWFUL! I started trying to potty train him at 2 1/2 like any normal mother would. I bribed, begged and pleaded with him. I tried everything I could think without pushing him too hard. He did not care. And told me so. His favorite comeback – “Not yet”. I thought he would be easier because he had a big brother. I thought he would want to go because he could then go to school and play with the other kids. Not so much. The big brother would not allow him into the bathroom with him for any reason and he did not care to go to school to play with any kids because he was content being him with me. It was always “Not yet”. Long story short, he was 4 1/2 before I finally got him totally potty trained and was finally able to get him into at least one year of preschool. (He’s a December baby) At that time there weren’t any diapers bigger than size 5 I think and he was in pull ups all the time because at this age he was obviously too big for regular diapers. This is how I did it! I told him we were all out of pull ups and the store didn’t have any more. After going through a list of stores with him – because he kept asking “Target?” “Kmart?” “Farmer Jack?” wanting to know if I was sure they didn’t have any – I kept saying “no”. I asked him what he was going to do now. He said very calmly after thinking for a moment, “Potty in the toilet.” And he did. He never wet the bed, never had an accident again. Needless to say I am not looking forward to potty training the next one. 🙂 Thanks for the laugh!
I just love your blog! I saw it posted right above one of my posts in a Myspace group. I have just started a parenting blog, too. It is on my website I listed and called, “How to Nail Jello to a Tree”. Best of luck and continued success with yours!
Sincerely,
Terri Clark
Jenny, Goddess of crazy poop stories, though I took your advice and have fed Brooklynn a full container of stage 1 baby prunes daily since last Thursday the child has yet to poop. She seems to be in no pain or discomfort, so I have not worried too much, but I am sure I will need to borrow that haz mat suit of yours soon.
Jenny, my friend, you are so dear!