So… two weeks from now I will be uterus free and enjoying a luxurious stay in the hospital.
March 25 seemed like forever away when my surgery was scheduled in January, and now it’s approaching at light speed. I have so. much. to. do. Between work and home and everything in between, I don’t know how I am going to fit everything in.
I almost feel like I did when I was having a baby… the “it’s taking forever” and now “omg it’s almost here” feeling is the same, the instinct to have my house perfectly arranged beforehand (reverse nesting or something?)is the same, the preparation to be away from work for several weeks is the same, and the fact that it’s going to happen whether I’m ready or not is the same.
Except it’s like the complete opposite.
On the plus side, I should have much more uninterrupted sleep after the fact this time around!
I am totally rambling, I know. I am starting to feel really anxious about the whole ordeal and I don’t really know how to describe it. What’s going to happen seems very uncertain and unknown to me. I guess that’s why I constantly want to do something to prepare… I’m trying to organize the hell out of a situation I really just can’t control.
Do I sound completely crazy?
Umm I think you googled what’s going to happen and you already know! 🙂 Just in case, I’ll break it down for you.
1) You get to go to sleep while a very qualified (and side note: fashionable) doctor takes out your lady parts
2) You get some good drugs so you won’t feel like hell for 12-24 hours
3) They’ll take the catheter out and make you stand up, then you will feel like your gut weights 10,000 lbs and the weight of it feels like it will rip your body cavity back open again – but it won’t! I promise!
4) You’ll go home and drift away to druggy land while other people take care of your food, your house, and your kids for several days
5) You’ll sleep A LOT and get WAY caught up on your favorite shows.
6) You will discover some new awesome books. They will be so good that you will want to read them again sans narcotics to make sure they are really good before you recommend them to anyone.
7) You will threaten to kill anyone who makes you laugh.
8) You will start to feel like “oh I’m fine” after about 2 weeks but if you’re SMART, you will continue milking it and taking it easy.
9) You’ll get wrinkles and hot flashes over night.
10) Just kidding about 9.
There, do you feel better??
Have you given your doctors and the hospital staff any spreadsheets yet?
Nice one Kevin!!!
I’ve been uterus free all my life; enjoy the sleep.
You don’t sound crazy at all! I had no idea you were having surgery. I am positive all will go well.