That’s my husband’s favorite response to my almost-constant question, “What are we going to do with her??” Andy finds that more often than not in life, there’s a Ferris Bueller quote that fits any situation.
Anyway, it’s not just “her” (aka Kate) I am exasperated with, it’s also “her” brother (aka Sam).
Most often, it’s both of them.
My kids are four years apart, and for a long time, they didn’t fight. Basically, Sam happily did whatever Kate told him to, and they co-existed peacefully. Now, though, at the ripe old age of four, he’s developed preferences and opinions.
And Kate does not like it one bit.
Driving each other crazy seems to be each of their goals in life, and in the meantime they are making Andy and me insane. The moments when they’re nice to each other? They are so nice. They’re sweet and funny and adorable. However, those moments are increasingly growing fewer and farther between.
I’m reading a book called “Siblings without Rivalry,” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, which, like their book “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk,” is full of great suggestions on ways to facilitate communication and prevent jealousy. The problem is, I can’t remember what the hell I’m supposed to do.
Evidently I should read it again.
Until then, though, I turn to you – any suggestions on what to do with our kids when they are at each other’s throats?
Well, you’re supposed to live with it! Yeah for Sam for finding himself at such an early age. Kate will just have to boss someone else around. You may want to take a page from the Dugars and have another child.
Vicious cycle, slippery slope and all that…as you’ll need to continue to produce spawn so that each child will have a younger sibling.
Good luck with that!
UP
And another thing… isn’t it bad enough that you’ve caused controversy yet again by dragging your children into a Night Club, now you’ve gone and got the anti-gun people all riled…WILL YOU EVER LEARN?
UP
My son and daughter went through a very similar thing, although at later ages. My solution was to ding their allowance every time they fought. I didn’t care WHO started the argument; they both lost money. When they’d wiped out their allowances, they started owing ME money, since I had to listen to them.
After two weeks during which they each had to fork over money to me, they figured out that being nice to each other was one solution; ignoring each other completely, even when they were irritated, was another. They now know to simply walk away when the other’s being a jerk… which still happens, but I no longer have to hear or referee it.
I have two girls that are 20 months apart that fight all.day.long. Drama. And it drives me freaking crazy. I don’t have any suggestions to getting them to stop fighting, but I do have a suggestion to punish them. When my girls are driving each other particularly crazy and mommy is pulling every last strand of hair out…..I make them hug. I’m talking full body standing hug for 3-5 full minutes. What is so amazing about this is that my girls scream and cry bloody murder the entire time about how they don’t like the other one and they don’t want to hug and they beg me to let them stop. Ultimately, I don’t think it is doing them any good (even though they hate it) because they don’t stop fighting, BUT I laugh at them hysterically for a full 3-5 minutes because they act like they are being stabbed in the eyeballs with forks. But, they are just hugging.
I am an older sister, like Kate, with a younger brother, like Sam. My advice: just make sure they don’t kill each other until Kate goes away to college. She will be away for four years, and then Sam will be away as well… and then, miraculously, when they are grownups, they will not want to kill each other as much, and might, just might, enjoy each other’s company.
At least that’s how it worked for the two of us.
When the ‘boys’ are not getting along – I have a simple solution – either get along or hang in your room alone. I can stand the fighting out in the open house, so if there is not going to be compromise – there is a stack of books in each of your rooms waiting to be read.
Sitting by themselves for 20 minutes seems like an eternity and they come out and realize – it is more fun to get along…ok, sometimes.