Welcome to a very special Halloween edition of Jenny’s Life Klass! Are you excited or WHAT!? I know I am. Emily and I have a very special Halloween tradition in that our families go trick-or-treating together in her neighborhood (because I? Live in the Ghetto and we’re a little afraid the trick is going to be a live firework or a doobie in the kids trick-or-treat bags. But anyhoo.)
We’ve been perpetrating this trick-or-treat tradition ever since Joshua and Kate were infants, so that means I’ve been out at Beggar’s Night as an adult for about nine years now. And here’s something it only took me one time out to learn: many of you are letting your little daughters trick-or-treat dressed as whores.
That’s right, America! You’ve let your 9-year-olds roam the streets as witches or car hops or nurses, or even princesses! Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, not in theory. But in reality…you manage to find ways, or let your daughters find ways to make these costumes reallllly slutty. So just in time for All Hallow’s Eve, let me lay down a few ground rules for your little girl’s costume. You are welcome in ADVANCE!
Rule 1: Ix-nay on the orset-cay. PEOPLE! No one under the age of 18 should be allowed to wear a corset! Vote, buy cigarettes, wear a corset. Makes sense to me! Why does it not make sense to the parents of the bazillions of underage corset-wearing girls I see at trick or treat each year? WHY!?
That costume is marketed as a “tween” costume. Which I guess is supposed to make it ok?
2. Hemlines shall be closer to the knee than to the butt cheeks. I’m not saying skirts need to be down to their ankles but THIS????
IS NOT OK!! And this costume comes as small as a little girl’s 3/4!!
3. Just say no to fishnets. I think I’m going to impose the age 18 rule to fishnets as well. Because fishnets are for women, NOT FOR GIRLS! And this??
Comes in children’s sizes.
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be slutty pirates.
What else can I say? I’ve seen some pretty crazy whorish stuff out at trick-or-treat!
To be at the head of Jenny’s Life Klass, please don’t let your baby girl go dressed as a thinly disguised hooker! Dress her in an age-appropriate costume for Halloween and you will get an A+++!!
What are some of your “favorite” Halloween costumes you’ve seen for little girls?
I make my girls create their own costumes. Perhaps I’m a lazy mom, but I’m doing it under the guise of letting my girls use their creative side. One of my favorites was going to Goodwill and coming up with an epic 80s outfit… And I totally crimped my daughter’s hair and curled and teased her bangs. She looked rad! The same can be done for a hippie.
This year, my youngest is going as a nerd, complete with taped glasses she’s been wearing in public for about 2 weeks now.
But… When I was a kid, it was either dress up in my moms clothes and jewelry and go as a gypsy, or dress up in my dads old clothes and go as a hobo, complete with a bandana tied to a branch. And we liked it!
Or you can use a trash bag and go as a California Raisin, right Jenny?
Loricita, you KNOW I went as a gypsy every single year EXCEPT for the year of the Trash Bag Raisin! Can I blame my mother? Please?
LOL!!! My husband always says that he was forced to go as a Hobo every year, but for some reason his parents would paint shapes on their cheeks!
Last halloween Courtney dressed as Snow White (she does every year, but I’ll let that one go). Anyway, there was also a teenage girl dressed as a very, very schlutty Snow White. Courtney walked up to her and said “You’re costume is too short. Snow White wears big party dresses NOT short skirts”. The girl looked mortified, as she should have. 😉
I don’t check out little girl costumes, that would be creepy!
But, I love to dress UP for Halloween!
UP
I am making my 7 year old daughter a “Tasteful Peacock” costume, after she selected the “Ravishing Peacock” from the Prosti-Tots-R-Us catalog (AKA: Party City)…..I’m sure it will cost an arm & a leg, as I suspect that Joann Fabrics overcharged me for several items, but better than smut-wear!
My “favorites” I have personally witnessed would have to be the pre-teen in a skin tight Catwoman suit, or maybe the 9 year old stomach baring/short skirt/knee boots go-go dancer. ‘Cuz that’s classy.
Oh it makes me want to cry. I don’t want my girls to grow up and want to wear that garbage.
Should not impose a kind of children’s clothing. Leave them freedom of choice
Love this! And as the mom of “big” girls, I’d say this fabulous advice extends to all girls, not just baby ones. Well done, J-No.
SKrame
My sister and I have dubbed this kind of girl’s apparel “prosti-tots”. I’d like to add that any costume that has more than three simultaneous themes going on is just over the top. Last night I saw a pirate/lady bug/cowgirl/cat. Or maybe it was a schizophrenic dressed normally. I couldn’t be sure. Great post! =)