Oh, the pageantry!

You guys. Season 4 of “Toddlers & Tiaras” is now on Netflix!

So, I will see you in about a week after I watch every single episode.

But I’ve already watched a few, including the one featuring three-year-old Olivia, who is so mean she gives me goosebumps! Fairly sure this one is going to off her mom in the middle of the night.  But that’s ok, because her mom knows that she’s going to go far in life because she’s pretty! As she says, the popular kids don’t get popular by being ugly.

Clearly, Olivia is thankful for her mother’s positive support.

So far, my favorite mom this season has been Ca’Trina, who is a devout Pentecostal and “really had to pray about the spray tan” for her 6-year-old daughter, Syraniti. Pronounced “Serenity” – which by the way, breaks SO MANY of my Jenny’s Life Klass baby naming rules. Ugh. But at least she CARES whether or not her -year-old looks like a 30-year-old.

There was actually one mom on this season who said they were about done with pageants because she wouldn’t put her daughter in anything baring her midriff and she didn’t think she would be able to win without that for much longer. Kudos to you, mama!

But anyhoo. Back to the crazies. Eight-year-old Chloe’s mom loves the way she shakes it in an entirely-too-authentic Daisy Duke outfit. And of course, so do the judges. Because you’re never too young to be sexy, OBVIOUSLY!

Which is why every weekend in hundreds of pageants all across America, two-year-olds wear false eyelashes and lipstick.

And I can’t. Stop! Watching!

On Netflix, that is.

Stay tuned next week for a compilation of my favorite T&T season 4 quotes!