Last night I had a stressful night in my vehicle. It started when the drive-thru at McDonald’s gave Sophie a chicken nugget container full of TARTAR sauce instead of chicken nuggets, and escalated when I had to go back through the drive-thru and the guy in front of me in the very long line wouldn’t PULL FORWARD enough for me to get to the speaker even though he was done ordering. For some reason, this enraged me, and as seconds ticked by while he SAT THERE when I could’ve been ordering them to whip up Sophie’s nuggets, I found myself seething and really wanting to get out of the car and go postal on his car with the nearest blunt instrument. BUT. Of course, I didn’t. I mean really, I would NOT do well in prison, and McNuggets are not a good enough reason to get sent up river. But I was, let’s just say, unreasonably angry. I always let stuff like this get to me.
When I stress myself to death, when I DIE of a stress attack, keel over from a stress-induced aneurysm, here are the possible straws that broke the camel’s carotid artery:
- not being able to open a jar
- not being able to open the frozen doors of my vehicle
- banging my shoulder on a door frame
- banging my head on a car door whilst trying to buckle a child in their car seat
- folding up my very expensive supposed-to-be-easy-to-fold-up stroller
- when the tab rips off a brand new diaper
- biting my tongue (literally)
- grocery cart wheels not turning
- grocery carts in which the baby seat belt does not work
- a wrong order at the fast food drive thru
- people who don’t DRIVE when the light turns green
- people who DO drive when the light turns red
- parents who let 11-year-olds terrorize the mall play place
- My children asking “WHY?” to something I’ve told them to do
- when I can’t get something to work and then my husband makes it work with no trouble whatsoever even though I am glad he fixed it I hate it that EVERYTHING IS SO EASY FOR HIM!
Steam is coming from my ears just after writing that list!
While I go try to avoid a fatal meltdown, tell me – what makes your blood pressure skyrocket?
All of the above, it’s genetic. That not moving at a green light will get ya shot!
UP
You really are Daddy’s little girl, with a hint of Mom.
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I am so glad that I am not the only one that has gotten tarter sauce in the nuggets box…Hope your day gets better…
People that try to pass you on the highway during a rush hour traffic jam only to cut off someone two people ahead of you because they “had” to get back in the lane to make their exit. Seriously does being two cars ahead really make your day that much better ?
When my kids repeat the same thing over and over and over like they think I didn’t hear them the first ten times they said it.
Kids whining. (self explanatory)
When someone (my kids or husband) asks a question that I have either already answered or that I know they know the answer too.
Ooo, I hate the diaper tab thing too! I’m cheap so I usually fix that up with some packing or duct tape, though!
My latest thing that sets me off is when I find out our baby’s sitter has dumped a half bottle of breatmilk just because said baby did not drink the whole thing at once! Seriously? That stuff does a) go bad that fast and b) is too hard to make to be poured down the drain! Seriously, I won’t even drink a glass of wine right now knowing I’d have to dump it! That’s saying a lot…!!
Children tracking snow all over the kitchen floor you just mopped. Then dog vomiting on said floor. (Are you reading this, Emily?)
you forgot an important one… WHINING… makes me cringe
There are certain toys that my children love to drag all over the house: a single hockey stick, a spongy ball that lost all of its paint, plastic Easter eggs (year-round). They KNOW that I will throw these away given the chance and they are only permitted in the play room or their bedroom. When I see them elsewhere my blood boils and they stop what they are doing to run and snatch them up before they are lost forever.
I totally agree with Holly, my son has a “toy” that he made for our dog out of holey (not like the sabbath lol) socks. This “creation” has a way of appearing right in the middle of the floor of the living room or kitchen ALL the time and it makes my skin crawl!! Like, the whole room can be spotless (yea right, but at least presentable) and that awful sock-thingy just RUINS it!!
Apparently our family is ok with the S-word.
Oh about drivers not driving when the light turns green? My three year old started saying, “GO dude!” When my husband told him he couldn’t say that, he said, “But you and Mommy say it.”
We also have a terribly short green arrow for turning left to get to our church. Most Sundays you can find us seething and counting the seconds it takes for the first car to notice it’s green and GO ALREADY, instead of, you know, preparing ourselves for worship and all that. I am a sinner… the first step is admitting it.
hilarious. i totally agree with all those.
I about had a nervous breakdown at my pediatrician’s the other day when I took my son for his 9 month check up. I was alone with him and he was wiggling like crazy and they had the nerve to hand me a blank form and ask me to fill out all my information that I’d just updated the month before. All because I changed my phone number. Shouldn’t the staff in a pediatrician’s office know better than to ask a frazzled woman holding a crawling baby to try dig for a medical card somewhere in a purse then fill out minute details on a form while the baby is tearing the form and chewing on the pen?