I feel like I am at a place in my life where I’m either on or off. When I am “on”, I can do it all – parent, keep the house clean, do the shopping, run the kids to their appointments, help out friends in need, blog, and even make dinner five out of seven nights (hey, Thursday’s Joshua has swim lessons and we always get fast food. The other night of the week I’m just inept.)
And then, there’s my “off” times. When I work as hard as I can during the 6- 8 hours or so a week that I have two kids at school and one kid napping so I can keep the house organized, and I can never get it all finished. ( Not that I can’t do housework when they’re all home, but…let’s just say when they are all home and awake I get adult ADD from the constant “MomMomMomMomMomMomMom” and the “waaaaaaaaaah” and my productivity plummets.) These are the times when getting Sophie and Jonah ready and out the door for morning preK drop off either has me on the verge of tears or screaming by 8:30 a.m. When I can’t do anything but the bare-bones, basic stuff my family needs to survive. When I don’t even have two seconds to text, email, or call a friend in need. Those times, I’ve got nuttin’.
There really seems to be no in-between. I can say, that always, I am doing my best. It’s just that sometimes my best is super-great and sometimes it totally sucks. This week, and last week, too, I am totally sucking. I kind of have a bad feeling that it is going to be this way through the fa-la-la-lidays. As a matter of fact, I am already looking forward to the week after Christmas because Bobby has that week off and the kids will of course be off school and Jonah’s 1st birthday and Christmas will be over and I think, oh, Bobby will be here, maybe I can breathe that week. Maybe I will get caught up on the housework. Maybe I will even get an hour or two to myself. Maybe I can flip the switch back to “on”.
Or maybe, the switch will be flipped before that. I sure hope so. At this point, I’m longing for a switch to mediocre.
It’s funny, we’ve always said, “After the (insert event here) we’ll get right to that.” It started with the first Christmas…34 years ago…
It has always been off or on with me too. Sometimes I feel like I’m just trying to get things done…quality control is out the window.
UP
I don’t really have on or off, I have work Mackenzie and home Mackenzie. Work Mackenzie: super together, on top of it, enthusiatic! Home Mackenzie: falling asleep making dinner.
I can totally relate! It sometimes feels like it takes me all week just to get caught up and in minutes everything I spent all week doing comes undone. Going anywhere is a monumental task and bed/nap time can’t come soon enough! I think every mom feels this way sometimes! I decided a couple weeks ago that my expectations of me were way higher than anyone else. I was robbing my children of my time because I had to get so much stuff done and it was stressing me out. I’m doing better right now but it is a daily battle for sure. I have no idea how working moms keep it all together! Hope things get better for you soon!
You are a wonderful wife,mother and friend. Just slip into survival mode for now and when the big kids are both in school all day next year, your days will go much more smoothly.Just what you have accomplished with Sophie this past year makes you a heroine to all of us who know you both.
I am continuously stuck in “moderately adequate” gear.
Thanks for this post! I just returned to work last week from maternity leave for my now 2 month old baby girl. OMG – I felt like I had it so together while I was off – taking care of the baby, dropping off and picking my 6 year old up from school, helping with homework, running errands, couponing, cleaning, laundry – it was so nice!! In the week I’ve been back at work I feel like the bottom has dropped out beneath me! I can’t keep up with anything – it took me 4 days just to get our Christmas tree decorated! I’m going insane!
It saddens me to hear so many woman post things like this. If you are so burnt out and overwhelmed would you husband mind, doing a few loads of laundy, washing some dishes, cooking a meal, or helping the kids with homework? In our household, when I feel overwhelmed, my husband gives me a little money and tells me to take a girlfriend out to dinner and get a drink. Then he does all of those duties for me so I can get a break. You seem very overwhelmed and a little stressed. Our husbands are supposed to be there to help us out and not just the weeks he is off work.
My husband is a rather helpful guy. But he doesn’t get home from work til 7 pm every night. So, he is pretty worn out himself. Yet, he totally handles bedtime for the two older ones. And, he gets out of bed and brings the baby to me when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night. And, he does the morning carpool for school and take our oldest to swim lessons on Thursdays. When I really need a break, he does his best to give me one. He even sent me to Florida by myself for a few days a couple years ago. But the reality of our lives is, we are so busy it is hard to even schedule a break. I’m not really burnt out, but I wish things were a little easier. I let the “little” things get to me, and that is my own fault. But my husband is not really a part of this problem.
I totally understand!!! I gotcha!!!
Same here! Major props to awesome husbands and Daddies!
As always you amaze me- make me laugh, cry and smile at the same moment! Through all of this- you still find time to share this with us! Thank you for just being you!
Thank you so much for posting this. You have no idea how much I can relate!! I think I needed to hear that there are others who have as much trouble keeping all together as I do!! 🙂