Bobby and I have never co-slept with our kids. We have a few main reasons.
1) I am a terrible sleeper.
2) Bobby is a very heavy sleeper and I always feared he would smoosh an infant and not know it.
3) For the first 9 years of parenthood, we had a full-size bed. There was barely room for the both of us.
(We rectified this almost 2 years ago for our 13th anniversary. PRAISE THE LORD. King is king.)
Nevertheless, with both our boys, we have been forced into co-sleeping. Because…two parents too exhausted to throw little kids back into their own beds in the middle of the night. We eventually broke Joshua of it, but he was up in our full-size beds most nights from age 3.5-5. That was ROUGH. He loved to sleep ON my back and kick Bobby in the crotch. We’re lucky we were able to have Jonah after the abuse Bobby endured at the feet of his sleeping son. But finally. We broke free about 5 years ago. Sophie never tired to get in bed with us really (she might be my favorite) and Jonah never did either…until this fall, when he could finally get his bedroom door open.
Then it was game-on in the forced co-sleeping arena. Now Jonah sneaks into our bedroom most nights between 1 and 3 a.m. Since we have a king bed now, it’s not as bad as it was with Joshua. Although he still likes to sleep on my back or my HEAD, he pretty much leaves his dad alone. However, I am generally relegated to sleeping on about 1/16 of our giant bed as for some reason Jonah feels the need to push me as close to the edge of it as I can go without falling off.
Two nights ago, he didn’t come into our room until 3:55. And he was AWAKE. I was awakened by him plopping in between Bobby and I, sitting up, and LAUGHING. Then he said “Oh, hi guys!” and THEN he laid down and grabbed me and reached for Bobby and said “GROUP HUGS!” (He loves group hugs. We have a lot of family hugs, what can I say?) And our bed is so big, he never quite reached Bobby, and my darling husband slept right through the group hugs. Jonah made several attempts, saying, “GROOOOUP HUGS!” in a loud sing-songy voice while I muttered “No, no, no group hugs. Lay down. It’s time for sleepy. No group hugs.” He gave up on the group hugs eventually but not on the Wayne’s World-type atmosphere he felt should be happening that moment. He was up for at least another 30 minutes, as was I…it was really fun getting him up for #%&* 7:30 preschool that morning! Pass. The. Coffee.
Another “benefit” of co-sleeping is that when you get up early to work before your kids wake up so that when they DO wake, you can PARENT instead of work…they wake up to your alarm and then you’re just screwed in a variety of ways. Welcome to my Friday. The one day that Jonah doesn’t have to get up for school, he was up at 6:00 am. Womp-womp. Talk about your all-time backfires.
So, why don’t we stop this, you ask? Well, two reasons:
1) Oh em gee, so tired in the middle of the night.
2) Jonah and Joshua share a room. We put him back in his bed, he screams and cries like the tiny monster he is, and Joshua is all wakey-ville. Also his wall adjoins Sophie’s room. So basically, if we let him sleep with us, I’m the only one awake (sometimes Bobby, but mostly me). If we put him back in his room, all 5 of us will be awake. And, all three kids get up for school at 6:30.
MOMS: Taking one for the team since the beginning of time.
So basically, I think we’re probably going to be reluctantly co-sleeping until Jonah grows out of it, which, for his brother, happened around age 5. Only ONE MORE YEAR. Maybe. <Yawn.> Do you co-sleep in your family, and is it by choice or um, “child-led”?
Donovan was worse for this than Shelby. He would come in, climb over me, I’m a light sleeper, so I was immediately awake. The he would turn into stretch Armstrong and extend his 3 foot body from one side of the bed to the other while keeping one heel under my chin and one in my groinal area. It was most unpleasant! He finally grew out of it about age 4.
Joshua stopped at age 5, I hope Jonah does too – if not before!
I am never too tired to take a kid back to bed. I’m a pretty light sleeper and my husband sleeps like the dead, so I get a touch angry when kids find their way into my bed at night. So to avoid murdering my husband in his sleep, I take the kid back to bed.
When we take Jonah back to bed he screams and cries and wakes Joshua up because they share a room. At least on school days we are just dealing with it for now. SIGH.
Xander still does this occasionally, and he’s almost 10! So an almost full-sized person crawling into our queen bed gets interesting. But I’m usually so, so out of it I don’t notice until he’s squashed next to me (I’m a super heavy sleeper).
We set out to not cosleep but X totally had other ideas early on. Sometimes I would bring him back to bed with me when he’d wake up as a baby; with my husband traveling and parenting alone so much I just wanted all the sleeps. I know I crawled in my parents bed a lot when I was a kid, and my sister did, too. Nobody called it “cosleeping” or attachment parenting in the 80s though. It was called “sleeping” and “having kids.” Now I sound like a Grandpa! In my day we didn’t wear our kids in slings — we made them plow the fields from when they could walk! Hurumph.
You crack me up Chrissy!
My husband works nights so when we had our first daughter (after she turned 1) it was fun to have a cuddle partner at night, for about this first two weeks. She immediately loved it and I regretted the decision. Fast forward 8 years and 3 more kids and each and every one of them has gone through the stage of sleeping in/on/near us. For a few years it was 2, some nights 3 kids in our bed and me trying to find a tiny portion at the bottom of the bed to sleep on. My daughters have now adjusted to sleeping in their own beds in their room but my oldest son is still on his toddler bed next to our bed. My youngest son who just turned 1 and now realizes he gets a turn at the night time snuggles. I’ve not had a good nights sleep in 8 years but I figure this is a moment in time and I will miss these days when they are teenagers. Or at least that is what I tell myself..
You will miss the days. Trust me.
We do not co sleep. I love my kids but I enjoy my space. My 6 year old tries to sneak in our bed sometimes but I walk him back to bed. My husband will sleep with him when he’s sick and can’t sleep sometimes though. As for my 17 month old, she has never slept with us.
None of mine ever slept with us as infants, and Sophie never has, period. But both of those boys started this at age 3…hmm. We tried taking Jonah back to bed but his hysterics would keep Joshua up since they share a room. And school is so EARLY I want him to get some sleep. But maybe we will try taking him back to bed over Christmas break!
Let Jonah stay in your bed and go crawl into his. Nobody cries, everybody sleeps!