This is Why You ALWAYS Check Your Dates Out on Ancestry.com

Hey remember that time I told you that I am my own Grandpa? And Emily is her own Grandma? And we are related to each other twice because we are so inbred that if we ever got into a fight we’d have to disown each other like 12 times to make it official? ‘Member, ‘member? In case you’ve forgotten, here’s the diagram!

Well, recently, things in our family tree got a whole! lot! more! confusing! And of course, fun…

{cue banjo music}

You see, a few weeks ago, my mom and dad took my cousin Amy and her husband Tom on a trip to their place in Virginia. Amy is my first cousin on my dad’s side (i.e. not related to Emily) and she and Tom have been married about 6 years. Aren’t they cuuuuuute?

They had a great time on their trip. Tom is a grizzly mountain man like my dad so they enjoyed manly stuff like hunting and fishing and what-not. However, it wasn’t until the car ride home that the party really got started.

“Aunt Diane,” said Amy, “I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this before, but Tommy’s mom’s maiden name is Burns.”

My mom’s maiden name is Burns, as is Emily’s.

“Oh where is she from?” said my mom.

“Clay County, Kentucky.” said Amy.

Guess who else is from Clay County, Kentucky? My grandparents! My mom and Emily’s dad were born there. WITH THE LAST NAME BURNS.

“I’m sure we’re related!” said  my mom excitedly.

And within hours, she had discovered that we are related to my cousin’s husband.

I am my cousin’s cousin. I am also my cousin’s husband’s cousin.

{Turn up the banjo music.}

Emily is my cousin! And she’s also my cousin’s husband’s cousin!

Confused yet? Slightly grossed out? No worries! Tom and Amy are  not related {that we know of}.

But I am related to them BOTH. Rock on! Need a visual aid??
OKAY!

Emily and I are 6th cousins to Tom. And I am first cousin to Amy. Tom got to meet his newfound cousins, Emily and her kids, and her dad (my Uncle Dan) at our extended family Mother’s Day picnic the  other day. ALL COUSINS! SO MANY COUSINS!

So my cousin has been married to my cousin for 6 years.

And I had no idea.

But let me stress again, they are not each other’s cousins. So it’s cool.

HOWEVAH, All my children’s dates will be thoroughly researched on Ancestry.com. JUST IN CASE.