Recently a mom I know who has a child with developmental delays messaged me on Facebook and asked me to call her. She wanted some ideas and tips on working with her child at home, and she knew I had worked with Sophie to help her overcome her delays. Our talk was good and affirming for both of us, and after we talked we traded emails and I sent helpful product links and app links and encouragement.
And it tore. Me. Apart.
In a good way.
God’s grace in it all just broke me open. It is beyond humbling to me that I am able to use the experiences I had with Sophie to help and encourage another mom. I can’t tell you what a privilege it is. Does that sound crazy? I am so honored to help. It boggles my mind that anything that I know can be useful to someone else. This isn’t because I have a terribly low opinion of myself (we all know self-esteem is not a problem for ol’ JRap), it’s because when Sophie was going through all her evaluations and we were realizing how very significant her delays were, and I was giantly pregnant with Jonah, I cannot tell you how many times I said, and cried out:
“God, I don’t know how to help her. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not the mother that Sophie needs. I can’t give her what she needs.”
“How can I do this? How am I going to help Sophie when I’ve got another baby to care for? What if I can’t teach her? I don’t know how!”
I was so scared of failing my child. What did I know of developmental delays, of speech or occupational therapy? Nothing, is the answer. I knew nothing.
And yet, here we are. I didn’t know, but I learned. God gave me what I needed and he gave us wonderful therapists and teachers to point me in the right direction. And two years later, to the day…
TO THE DAY, I just realized as I am writing this. Sophie’s preschool teacher pulled me aside with her concerns two years ago today.
I have to let that sink in for a second. To the day! And I just realized it! Thank you, Lord. I don’t believe this was a coincidence.
Two years has passed and my darling girl is kicking butt in kindergarten and in life in general. And I am helping other people with what I learned helping her. It just blows my mind that I could be used. When I knew nothing, nothing. Not. A. Thing. I was lost and scared and ignorant. And yet.
Here we are.
God is good. He keeps giving me more gifts of grace.
Three nights ago another mom found this blog through Pinterest when she was searching for ways to help her developmentally delayed child. She found my story of our journey with Sophie. It gave her the exact encouragement she needed, she said.
Her comments wrecked me all over again. I’m so thankful that God truly made all that struggle so beautiful. I’m so thankful to be used. I am blown away, ripped open, blessed and humbled. Torn up. Ripped to shreds.
In a very, very good way.
🙂
UP
I don’t know how to make a smiley face like UP did, but I would if I could. Tutorial,please. All of us share your amazement for what God has done in opening up our Sophie’s world. Let’s face it…MOMS RULE when empowered by love for a child.
I am honored to be your dad and so proud of Sophie!
This makes my heart happy 🙂
You are awesome! It is so humbling to help others going through something that you survived. It puts so much in perspective. It also helps you to realize that while you are going through your struggles God has a plan for you. Not only to count on him to help you through it but to help others do the same. Thank you for sharing!
I think He has a plan. And we are all part of it. So it’s, of course, no coincidence that this happened. Today. It’s His way of nodding to you and showing you that He knows you’re listening.
And helping one another? It’s what we do. And you, m’dear, do it beautifully. Every. Single. Day.
Oh my God…how I LOVE your heart!!!
Hindsight iis always 20/20. You don’t know HOW you are going to get through something, but looking back, it’s always clear to see how you make it through an adverse situation. You can see where God positions you, gives you opportunities, and how He gets you through what you thought would be the impossible.
What a blessing you have been to Sophie, and now to others. God is using you, far beyond what you thought you were capable of. That. Is. Awesome! (And… for the record, I used the word AWESOME correctly… thanks to UP).
I don’t know sweet little Sophie (yet) but I do know good ol’Jap and I have to say that THIS, this is just one more reason I think she’s awesome! Thanks for sharing!
My beautiful, happy, friendly daughter has learning disabilities. She is in the third grade. She can read basic words that she has memorized, but can’t really comprehend a story that she reads herself. She didn’t know her colors until she was 5. She can’t tell the difference between. 6, 9, b, d, and a p. She is never going to be an astrophysicist. She will hopefully grow up to be happy, healthy adult hold a job and have a family that she can love and keep safe. I get it. I have mourned what she will never be at the same time as rejoicing what she is. I have beaten myself up for what I cannot provide for her at the same time as being so very grateful for the teachers who can provide it. I have wanted to strangle 8 year old boys because they made my daughter cry and told her she is dumb. It doesn’t hit me every day, but today is does. It is so wonderful to read your story and know that someone else out there gets it too. Thanks for reminding me to be thankful for all the blessings.
Thank you. One day I asked you for some advice to help my son, and you sent me a super-long email, taking time to help little old me who you do not even know. I think you are so right, that God does not let our struggles go to waste. We don’t like them at the time, but once we get around the bend, we can see how God had a plan for us all along, to be an encouragement and help to others and to have a much deeper appreciation for the blessings in our family and in our life. Sounds so cheesy and cliche, or something, but I really mean it. And it’s great that you can feel it powerfully and not just blow it off as a tricky patch in your life that you are ‘over’. I have a similar thing, but a different issue, of something that was hard for me, but I have been able to help others who face the same thing.
Thank you for your words today. I’m in a entirely different situation but your questions still speak volumes to me:
God, I don’t know how to help her. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not the mother that Sophie needs. I can’t give her what she needs.”
“How can I do this? How am I going to help Sophie when I’ve got another baby to care for? What if I can’t teach her? I don’t know how!”
I was so scared of failing my child. What did I know of developmental delays, of speech or occupational therapy? Nothing, is the answer. I knew nothing.
I feel like I know nothing in the situation I am in but know that God is moving and working in us still. Thank you
I’m one of those Moms that has been amazingly encouraged by your story and your help! Praise Jesus for your journey and how you are allowing Him to use you!!!
Used Sophie as an example just yesterday as I talked to a mom about her son. Wanted to encourage her about what is possible with the right resources, a hard-working (and fighting) momma, and a God who cares so deeply. I was teary as I described Soph’s amazing progress and her amazing mom. We love you both.
This makes my heart smile and rejoice!! I’ve always believed there is a reason for everything, we may not know it at the time or like it, but there is always a plan! Congrats and thank you! Sophie ROCKS!!! 😉
You are a wonderful mother. conscious responsibility towards her I wish every mother.Be like you