Jenny and I have often said that our main goal for this blog is simple – we aim to crack each other up. And while we do find ourselves mildly amusing on here, our laugh-til-we-cry conversations generally happen on IM. (Which is why I think we need our own radio show, because together we are hilarious. So Oprah Radio, give us a call, k?)
Anyway.
One such IM conversation took place today, and while I don’t think Jenny so much as cracked a smile, I literally had tears rolling down my face – so, much to Jenny’s horror, I’m sharing our convo with you.
For background – yesterday Jenny randomly texted me with information (TMI, to be exact) regarding the lengths she was going to to cure a malady in her eye. I’ll let her tell y’all about that one. Let’s just say she must have been really sick of wearing glasses.
Which brings me to our chat today.
Emily says: yo
Jenny says: yodude
Emily says: what’s up?
Jenny says: getting ready for Joshua’s PT conference
Emily says: oh nice
Jenny says: whats up w/ you?
Emily says: um just trying to think of something to post
Jenny says: post about how my eye is not any better and I’m FREAKING OUT
Emily says: i don’t even know what’s wrong with your eye. take a picture, send it to me and i’ll write a post about it. for real
Jenny says: it’s like pink eye under my iris. I have been taking antibiotic dropsleft over from when Sophie had it, for like well thisis the third day but only once today so far and no better and I am SICK OF GLASSES. let me take a pic. eh i totally cant get a pictue
Emily says: use the xoom
Jenny says: i tried
Emily says: boo
Jenny says: i can’t see well enough w/out my glasses and i have to pull the botton of my eye down so you can see it. can’t do all that and get a pic! argh
Emily says: you have problems
Jenny says: ooh i just had joshua help me and I got it. but it is SO unattractive I would never ever let it be publisehd!
Emily says: SEND IT TO ME
Jenny says: emily, it’sthe ugliest thing ever, i would rather have another swimsuit photo
Emily says: which means it will make the post funny
Jenny says: my nose looks like Blossom’s it’s so close range
Emily says: SEND IT, Amy Farrah Fowler
Jenny says: FINE. as Sophie would say. but you OWE ME
Emily says: omg I am dying laughing already and i haven’t even seen it
Jenny says: seriously, just crop my eye. also i look like i have a moustache. good lighting
Emily says: omg i am about to choke to death on an orange
Jenny says: grrreeeeeeeeat. well, I am goig to be very relaxed in joshua’s conference while my mugshot hits the net
Emily says: stop, i am going to hyperventilate
Jenny says: well i am glad to entertain you. meanwhile I am in a panic about how to get my eye better so I can wear contacts and mascara again. oh geez that was quotable
Emily says: oh this whole conversation is quotable
Jenny says: seriously, though doesnt it seem like if you give your kids antibiotic drops they get better like instantly?
Emily says: yes but did it occur to you that you are using medication prescribed to treat what sophie had but not necessarily what you have?
Jenny says: yes but its just pink eye!
Emily says:how do you know?
Jenny says:because i’ve GOOGLED
Emily says: Maybe it’s… I don’t know.
Jenny says: duh. geez. and it’s only in one spot. it’s weird
Emily says: well you certainly cured my writer’s block.
Jenny says: arrgh yw
Emily says: maybe you busted a blood vessel
Jenny says: i will probably have to drag my ass to the dr.
Emily says: your eye isn’t goopy
Jenny says: well it looks thick like pink eye does
Emily says: what do you mean, thick?
Jenny says: like the cornea just looks thicker where it’s red. that’s what it looked like last time Joshua had it, which was in the spring sometime. his wasn’t goopy either. so this looks like tht to me. but of course, I am not a dr. ok my mom is here and I have to fly out the door! love you. don’t make me not love you anymore
Emily says: you’ll always love me
*****
The end.
Ok perhaps something was lost in the translation, but it was hilarious. HILARIOUS, I tell you. It’s not that I don’t take her and her little eye issue seriously, it’s just that… Well, ok. I don’t take it very seriously. Jenny tends to overreact, you know. She’s not calm and rational like I am.
I mean, Sam had an eye thing the other day, and did I freak out?
Hmm… now that you mention it, I did. That picture up there? I put it on Facebook. And tweeted it. And googled it. And what do you know, the interwebz diagnosed him with a stye and/or cellulitis. Which I then googled and found pictures like this.
And also discovered that cellulitis can result in anything from a MRSA or staph infection to meningitis. (Or it could be treated by 10-days of antibiotics and be gone within 48 hours. But at the time I thought the likelihood of those other things was much higher.)
So perhaps Jenny is right in flipping out about her antibiotic-resistant self-diagnosed pink eye.
We wouldn’t want her to end up looking like this.
P. S. Jenny did not confirm the fact that she’ll always love me. However, I know she will because she does not want to be responsible for this blog all by herself.
That last picture is totally chlamydial conjunctivitis, its in every text book I’ve ever read. Also: Jenny the picture is too grainy for me to see with my awesome facebook doctoring skills. Don’t use your mascara until this is gone though.
Yeah it totally is… it was the grossest one I could find on google images!
You two need a “truely tastelss” category like I have.
Geeeesh!
UP
tasteless!
I went to the doc for eye cooties this week. And I’m sick of my glasses. It’s not pink eye. For me, my eye is really irritated, and it WORE DOWN CORNEAL LAYERS. I have antibiotic drops and other drops – even though basically the doc doesn’t know what’s wrong or why, except my cornea is worn down.
Go to your doctor, Jenny… really. 🙂 (though my doc said no contacts FOR TWO TO THREE WEEKS)
TWO TO THREE WEEKS? Sarah, I will die before then. Because I cannot see properly in these things! Every time I look down the world disappears! I think I might have the corneal layers thing going on too. Maybe because I sleep in my contacts all the time and NEVER take them out. Oy. I need LASIK. Who wants to give me free LASIK for a blog review?? ANYONE!?
Same here! I have not been able to see… when I look down, I feel like I’m gonna FALL or trip. (And yeah, not taking your lenses out could probably cause it).
It’s making me consider LASIK too, but guess what? I heard you can’t wear your contacts for two weeks before Lasik either. Go figure.
I used to work for an eye doc. It sounds like what happens when you wear your contacts too long. Go and get it looked at. Things can get really bad if you dont get the right stuff. Also get your glasses adjusted. Are they your latest prescription? Anyway, in my non professional opinion, you need to make the time for yourself and go see your eye doc! ASAP!
Ohmygosh…I just about threw up my breakfast when I got to the pictures! You guys are crazy…in a good way. 😉
Cousin, I still love you. I am ashamed that the world now knows I said “ass” in an IM. I hope Joshua is not kicked out of Christian school because of my lack of self-control.
AS I said, I still love you – but only because you posted other pictures so horrifying that it made everyone forget about my mustachioed mugshot!
laughing and gagging at the same time. not about you, jenny (the gagging that is) but over the last eye pic. however, the laughing is about you… sorry jenny.
e