I happened to glance at a status update from the Dayton Daily News on Facebook, and saw this terrifying headline:
The deer population is expected to be up 25,000 this year, presenting a greater risk for deer-vehicle accidents.
*Shudder.*
Most people see these little creatures and say “Aww…”
I see them and it makes me want to vomit.
You see, many moons ago when I was a new driver, my sister and I were coming home from our grandma’s house in the evening and a deer ran out in front of our car. I slammed on the brakes, but I still hit it. Or, more accurately, the deer sort of flopped onto the hood, bounced off and ran back the way he had come. My car was just dented (it looked like someone had thrown a basketball at it), but I was shaken.
I have been paranoid of deer ever since. (Me? Paranoid? I know – shocker.)
My crippling fear quickly became a joke among my family and friends, and once, during high school, I came home to find one of these on my front porch:
My adventures with deer didn’t stop then, unfortunately. Earlier this fall there was an incident that involved me running through our neighborhood at the same time a deer was running through our neighborhood (I have never run so fast in my life). I can’t do it justice through the written word. But it was pretty much exactly like this:
It was horrible.
So anyway, hearing that the population of those nasty lovely creatures is UP by 25,000 – 25,000!!! – was not exactly what I wanted to hear. In fact, I thought it must be a misprint – surely they meant it was up to 25,000. But no, it turns out that the deer population has gone from 700,000 to 725,000.
725,000!!!! That is three quarters of a million! Deer! In OHIO.
Hold me.
Of course, more deer equals more crashes. According to the article, last “November saw the most crashes last year with 6,043 — an average of 200 per day.” So at least we have that to look forward to next month.
Our family is getting a head start on the deer hitting season, however. Last week, Andy called me early one morning to say he had hit a deer on the way to Sam’s babysitter’s house. Fortunately, they were fine, but the deer was not so lucky. (Unfortunately, our car was fine as well – but I will admit that my first thought after hearing they were ok was “ooooh maybe the car’s totaled!”). Sammy didn’t know what happened – he heard the thud and said “Hey, who did that?!?” but since he didn’t realize it was a deer, I’m hoping he’ll avoid the same post-traumatic stress disorder that’s plagued me for years.
In any case, I have a very bad attitude toward these furry friends, and frankly I wish they’d just GO AWAY. But no, no… instead they’re rapidly multiplying.
Kate is much more compassionate, and when I told her Andy had hit one with his car, she was actually worried about the beast. She told me, “Mommy, I know you don’t like them, but they are animals and we need to care about them too” or something along those lines. All I heard was “blah, blah, blah.”
When does hunting season start? I’ll be the one sounding the horn. But I will not be the one waiting in trees for days at a time with pee (purposefully) all over me. I’ll leave that to the experts.
Go get ’em.
“725,000!!!! That is a quarter of a million! Deer! In OHIO.”
Not to scare you, but that is actually closer to three quarters of a million deer.
They are very nerve wracking creatures. Especially driving at night in the country. I think everyone in my family has hit one but me….I know it is coming 🙁
Emily, you crack me up! Love that you have the Great Outdoors clip on here. That’s one of my favorite movies of all time! Good luck with not encountering one!
I hit a deer once. It was several years before I didn’t jump at fake deer as yard decorations. My husband still teases me every time we pass the location of my deer hit.
Don’t move to Kentucky. An old farmer there told us he hated to even have people drive to his house this time of year, because they almost always hit a deer on the road. He would have people come to his house (year round – shhh) and sit at the edge of the field and shoot them but it couldn’t make a dent.
how scary!!
I hit a deer on the highway, many moons ago. I was in the center lane, around 10pm. It jumped out of the median and basically landed on the hood of my car before it was thrown off the side of the road. I was driving, saw a blur, a wall of brown, then a smoking hood. It was scary. The ever-so-polite and helpful officer kindly asked me (already sobbing for killing Bambi and ruining my car) if I wanted “the meat.” I contemplating hitting him, but figured an assault charge would just make the incident that much worse. 🙂
We lost a friend and fellow youth leader 6 yrs. ago in an accident involving a deer. He was on his way home from working out in the early morning when he hit the deer. He was killed instantly. He was a father to 2 with one on the way. It’s hard to believe how much time has flown by as I will always remember my husband sobbing on the steps while receiving that call. So, I too, don’t look at deer the same way. Especially when visibility is not too great or I see a deer warning sign…I take it very seriously and take caution.
You crack me up every time.
Thanks for the post.
Happy hunting season…almost 🙂
Check out my The Low Ryder post on “Oh Deer.” Those guys are fearless. They just stand in my front yard feet from me and taunt me.
I’m sure your cuz Andy will take care of a few for you!
UP
That is funny. You had better not come out my way. Between your other favorite thing MICE and the deer out here you would be screwed and definitely admitable to the local psy department.
You crack me up, baby! That is some funny stuff. The Great Outdoors clip is right on the money except for: deer- not bear, Em – not John Candy, and the deer didn’t break down the door on top of Em while she was huffing and puffing…”BIG…BIG DEER CHASE…BIG DEER CHASE ME!” Although I really thought it was going to! I love you, Babe.