Category: whine

Before I start, let me direct your eyes to the category this post is filed in. It’s called “whine”. Yes, I know this is a first world problem. But I’m going to vent about it anyway. BECAUSE OMGEE 7:30 IS A HORRIBLE TIME TO START PRESCHOOL. Here are 5 reasons why it is specifically horrible for me.

1) I have to pry Jonah out of bed every morning. Normally this child would probably be up on his own by 7:15 but when I get him up at 6:30-6:45 weekday mornings, he is NOT HAPPY. His unhappiness has a trickle down effect, which is not really a trickle but more like an extremely powerful and violent geyser.

2)  I have to shower at night. I hate showering at night, it always makes  my hair HORRIBLE. So my hair looks horrible until I can find the time to flatiron it. In order to shower in the morning, I’d have to get up at 5:15, because Bobby gets up at 5:45. I cannot bring myself to do this…yet. Typically I get up about 6:20 and get dressed before getting Jonah up. 5:15? I can’t even think about that right now. I know many of you do it, so again….whine.

3) Jonah and I have to leave before the rest of the family. We have to be out the door at 7:15 and they don’t leave until 10 minutes later. This causes me to have to “drill sergeant” Sophie through her morning routine even more than I used to, so I can do her hair before school. Sophie is SLOW, acts like she has ADD, (why should I brush my teeth when I could be taking inventory of  my stuffed animal collection??) and also does not give a crap about my time constraints. So basically I scream at her all morning until it’s time for me to leave. Warm Fuzzies abound. ALSO, this means Bobby cannot park behind me when he gets home from work. If he forgets, major panicked car-moving ensues.

4) I typically only have time for ONE cup of coffee while I’m slapping on my makeup trying to get out of the house. This does not lend itself to a cheerful Mom. Also, I have already forgotten Jonah’s backpack a few times this year and I NEVER EVER forgot his or Sophie’s before. Ever.

5) 7:30 preschool  is over at 10:15. WHAT? Basically I work like a dog up to the minute I have to go get him…and my productivity is shot  WELL BEFORE noon every day. Womp. Womp.

So yeah, I pretty much hate 7:30 preschool. But I said it before and I’ll say it again (through gritted teeth) – it’s worth it to have Jonah’s awesome teachers that he had last year. So I will soldier on. And maybe now that I’ve vented, I won’t even complain about it anymore. (Yeah right.)

I managed to come through the Great Plague of 2011 unscathed (which reminds me, I still need to clean the vomit off my black suede boots. Yay). But I have a new fun disorder instead. Temporomandibular joint disorder, more commonly known as TMJ.

Let me explain.

Here’s your brain.

Here’s your brain on TMJ.

According to my dentist, I’ve been clenching my teeth too much (and to be sure, during the family-“fun”-filled holidays, there was plenty of clenching going on) which is causing the joints in my jaw to protest. It’s a dull ache at all times, punctuated by acute pain when I talk, sneeze, chew, or move. The dentist gave me ibuprofen and some muscle relaxers (I took 1/4 of one and slept until 10 the next morning – not such a good plan for regular use) and told me to come back in a month to be fitted for a football-style mouth guard. I somehow skipped the fun of orthodontia as an adolescent, so apparently I get to make up for it now. Woohoo! She also said not to eat anything crunchy, chewy, or hard. I’m not entirely sure what’s left, so I haven’t exactly been following that advice.

TMJ is extremely common and no big deal. But dudes. It hurts. It wakes me up in the middle of the night and often makes me nauseated. And it seems to be getting worse.

All this complaining made me realize just how grateful I am that the Plague skipped me – there’s no way I could open my mouth enough to puke effectively.

So at least I have that going for me.