Mommin' It Up!

August 30, 2012August 29, 2012

School Rules! My world.

Last Tuesday was the day I had been waiting for, nay, DREAMING ABOUT since June.

The first day of school!!!

As I have confessed before, I am not a very good summer mom. I just don’t enjoy having all the kids under my feet ALL DAY. And in the big kids’ case, in each other’s faces all day. The reality is that we are all much happier when the kids are in school. And, since Sophie was starting full[day kindergarten, Jonah and I were finally going to have our chance to be one-on-one, and I was truly, truly, anticipating that with joy.

But let me back up a little bit. As I mentioned, Sophie was starting kindergarten!! This is major major major, because almost two years ago when her developmental delays were first diagnosed and I sat at the table with a team from our local public school district, they asked me, “What are your goals for Sophia?” and I answered, “I want her to be able to go to regular kindergarten.”

And she is going to a regular kindergarten. Entering it reading at a first grade level, knowing her sight words up to fourth grade.

All I can say about that is praise the Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you God! We are so grateful.

Sophie was SO excited to go to kindergarten. She ran right into the room and hugged her teacher. She sat at her desk and happily kissed us goodbye. She was so thrilled and happy to be in that classroom that I didn’t even get teary-eyed. I could be nothing but happy for her!

sophiefirstday2012 — Sophie at her desk on her first day of kindergarten

She loved every minute of her first day and every minute since! I love hearing her blow-by-blow reports when she comes home. At parent information night, her teacher said to me, “I think Sophie is going to be a teacher when she grows up.” Which to me, is code for “Sophie enjoys telling everyone in the class what to do.” It made me laugh and did not surprise me one bit!

Joshua, even though he is entering third grade, was a little bit more hesitant about starting school. My sensitive guy was so afraid of the unknown, he would have rather just stayed home with me. But, he had a great day and is having a great year so far, just like I knew he would!

2ndday2012 — They are so darn cute I had to take their pic on the 2nd day of school too!

So, after a week, my big kids are doing well in school and enjoying it. And even though I have taken on a part-time work-from-home job, Jonah and I are really enjoying having our alone time, too!

I love my one-on-one time with my boy, just me and him without our lives being ruled by the arduous preschool drop-off/pick-up schedule. I love having that special time with just HIM that I was able to have with Joshua before Sophie came along and with Sophie after Joshua went to school and before Jonah was born. It’s finally the baby’s turn to have mommy all to himself! So far, it’s been awesome! I love, love, love, that baby boy. He and I are having so much fun together, and when the big kids come home from school, we are all happy to see each other and it’s fantastic.

I love school. It rules my world!

Are your kids off to school yet this year?

August 13, 2012August 12, 2012

She just likes winning.

I loved watching the Olympics with my kids this year. I always love the Olympics, but this is the first year Joshua and Sophie have really enjoyed it, and it was so fun to enjoy it along side them. Sophie was, like most little girls, really into the gymnastics, especially since she takes gymnastic lessons herself (although I don’t think Marta Karolyi needs to hold a place for her at the 2024 games. Sorry Soph. You are your mother’s daughter.)

We recorded the gymnastics, since they were on so late at night, so that Sophie and I could watch them together the following day. She was thrilled when Team USA won gold and again when Gabby Douglas won gold in the all-around. When we were watching the all-around competition, we couldn’t help notice how devastated Russian gymnast Viktoria Komova was when she won the silver. Komova faltered on her vault early in the competition, so her fate came down to her floor routine, and she could have overtaken Douglas for the gold, but the judges chose otherwise. After the Russian saw her scores, she broke down in tears. Silver, it seems, was not what she had come to win.

To someone like me, who has never been great or almost-great or even in the running for great at anything, Komova’s reaction is really hard to understand. But logically I know that all athletes of that caliber make their sport their entire world so that they can be THE BEST. Not the second-best. And some of them are incapable of feeling anything but despair in what you and I would see as a moment of elation. I’m all “A silver medal? That’s AWESOME!! ” And when an athlete who isn’t favored to win or even medal gets a silver, you might see that elation. But not so with Komova, who certainly had higher expectations for herself.

A few nights later, Sophie wasn’t feeling well late at night, and so I let her get out of bed and watch some gymnastics with me. It was the individual event finals for the floor exercise, and it must’ve reminded Sophie of the all-around finals, because she looked up at me and said, “Mommy? Do you remember Viktoria who was trying to beat Gabby? I feel really sad for her because I think she just likes winning, like I do.”

Sophie was awfully sleepy, and I don’t know if she even remembers our conversation. But I took the moment to reassure her that while it is hard to lose, what matters most is doing the very best you can do, and working at it with all your heart. And I told her that I was sure Viktoria did that, and Gabby did that, and that Gabby’s best was just better that day. So she wins, and that’s the way it supposed to be. I told her it was okay for Viktoria to be sad but that I bet her mommy was still really proud of her.

I am one of those people who doesn’t think everyone should get a trophy just for trying. The culmination of talent and years of hard work need to be rewarded. For some, the reward is simply participating at a world-class level; medal or no, their efforts have brought them into a select group. For the very top achievers, though there does need to be a special award. And to give everyone a medal de-values the ones who have truly achieved greatness.

But anyway, I must say for all my “teachable moment-ing”, I think my little girl got it right. (And I can *ahem* verify that Sophie comes by her sore loser-dom honestly.) It sucks to lose. And for an athlete who could on another day be good enough to win, second place can at that moment seem not so much a shiny silver as a dingy failure.

I am hoping that today, more than a week later, Komova and all the athletes in her place that competed and did so amazingly well can so how great their achievement truly was.

And I hope my little girl one day understands that giving your BEST is truly winning, even if someone else’s best is better.

June 25, 2012

Help me get it right.

Before you read this post, go read this one by my new friend Jeannett. It’s about her daughter Jill, and it’s the inspiration for what I’m about to say.

Ok, are you back? Did you need to go get a tissue? (Or don’t you have a soul!?)

One thing that my whole experience with Sophie’s developmental delays has brought to my life is a sensitivity for people with disabilities, and their families. Especially their moms. Seeing your kid looked at as “different” is hard. Sophie only got weird looks because of sometimes-crazy behavior, as she is phyiscally “normal”. And that was bad enough. To watch the gawking or ignoring that kids and adults with obvious physical disabilities endure is very unsettling. To be a parent or loved one having to watch your kid get gawked at? I truly cannot imagine.

Because Sophie used to see kids with all kinds of disabilities at her therapy clinics or at her school, she treats a kid in a wheelchair or walker, or a child with Down Syndrome the same as all her other friends. It’s awesome to watch. There was a girl at school and a boy at OT that she especially like to keep tabs on. I can only hope she doesn’t lose that as she continues on to “regular” kindergarten. I know, as an adult, that I KNOW BETTER, and I know that I need to teach my children early to KNOW BETTER and to DO BETTER. Sophie’s got it, but I need to teach my boys. To be the one that treats everyone with kindness and respect. To look someone in the eye. To smile. To hold a door, or a conversation, whether that person is in a wheelchair, on a walker, has a mental disability, or whatever.

I love my kids. I love them just the way they are. They are mine. And you know what? If Sophie’s delays hadn’t been temporary, she would still be my amazing, wonderful, rock-star daughter. I never wanted her to be anything different than what God made her to be. And I wouldn’t want to be treated as if either a) she didn’t exist or b) she should be avoided like the plague or c) I should be pitied because of my poor, disabled child.

Would you ?

Tell me, if you have a disability, or your child or loved one does, or you’ve worked with people with disabilities, what do you want us “typicals” out there to know and do? Help us get it right. Let’s learn together how to love one another better.