Rewind 10/09/03: In which I Bid my Boobs “Adieu”

To: Emily
From: Jenny
Date: 10/09/2003
Subj: Pregnant Boobs

Cousin,

Have you noticed any boob changes yet? Not to get too personal, but mine are TOTALLY freaking me out. They used to be pointy and now they are saggy. And my nipples used to be in the middle and now they are pointing south. AND I am getting stretch marks on them. AAAHHH!!! Goodbye, boobs of my youth!!

(The beauty of hindsight: when I wrote this email to Emily, I was about halfway through my pregnancy with my first baby. If I had known at that moment how sad my boobs would be after nursing said baby, I wouldn’t have complained about the pregnant version. They seem much more attractive from this side of the fence…oh well…small price to pay for a miracle….)

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Two Pink Lines

I’ll never forget the first time I saw two pink lines on a pregnancy test. It was June 18, 2003. I was 25 years old and had been married a little over three years. Bobby and I had been trying to get pregnant for about three months, and I wasn’t too stressed out about it yet, but I was getting a little nervous. After all, you never know how that’s all going to go until you try.

My period was only one day late, but I was never late, so I went ahead and bought a test. I had read that you need to test with your first pee of the day, so I got up that morning and rushed into the bathroom. I had to hurry to get the thing unwrapped because I really had to go! I barely had time to read the instructions and hoped I was “doing it right”. After I’d done the deed, (mmm… double entendre anyone?) I laid the test flat on the top of the toilet and tried not to look at it. But, as I was brushing my teeth about 30 seconds later, I accidentally looked. Seriously, it was an accident. I swear! What I saw made me gasp and swallow a great deal more toothpaste than is appropriate. There on the pee-pee test were two pink lines, announcing with their rosy duplicity that I was somebody’s mother.

I picked up the test and stared at it to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating, finished brushing my teeth (little did I know how soon I wouldn’t be able to brush them without puking!), and jumped around the bathroom in excitement. My husband was already at work so I had to wait alllllllllll daaaaaaaaaaaay before I got to tell him (I had to do it in person of course!) He said those three little words that all men say upon hearing such an announcement – say it with me ladies – “Are you sure?” When I confirmed that yes I was sure, he broke out in the world’s biggest smile. The same smile he gives his son when he arrives home from work every day. That boy’s made us smile a million times since that moment, and I expect we’ll never stop smiling about him.

To read more great stories from other bloggers on this topic, go to MomsBlogging.com!

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A Case of the “Mondays”


Going from having one kid to having two kids was a really tough adjustment for me, and the toughness started when I was about seven weeks pregnant and began getting sick. I’d been moderately sick with my first pregnancy, but apparently I hadn’t seen anything yet! My “morning” (HA HA HA HA!!!!) sickness with this pregnancy was horrible, but never was it worse than one particular Monday.

It was Monday May 1, 2006 – the Monday of all Mondays. It was worse than just “a case of the Mondays”. (My favorite quote from Office Space. If you have never seen it, please finish reading this blog, leave a comment, and then go directly to the video store to rent it!) For starters, I puked in a whole new locale for me – the shower!! That was exciting and oh-so- convenient. What a way to start the day. It really is impossible to feel clean after you’ve just puked in the shower. So that was about 6:45 a.m., then I hit the toilet and puked again about 7:30. I was still working at the time, and on the way to work, I started seeing stars – little silvery, squiggly things. This made driving veeery interesting. These stars were accompanied by a really bad headache, and by the time I arrived at work, I had pretty much convinced myself that I was near death. Once there, I called my doc, who said I was probably dehydrated and to drink lots of fluids and to “take it as easy as possible.” This advice didn’t seem nearly urgent enough for me, but whatever. Apparently it was not my day to die.

Now if I had any other job, or if I was working at any of my past jobs, I would’ve been out of there & on my way home as soon as I stopped seeing stars. But, I was working in a place where I was the only one who could do my job, and the success of the business depended on me being there, especially on Mondays because that was the day I trained new employees. So no one said to me “You need to go home.” Because they really couldn’t say that, because then we’d all be screwed. So I toughed it out. Puked 3 times at work (including twice during my training) and laid my head down on my desk whenever I could. Finally at 3:45 when training was complete I hoofed it out of there. My parents, who were watching Joshua, agreed to keep him longer at their house so I could sleep. I slept for about an hour but sickness/hunger woke me up. I puked again about 7:30 pm. Then Bobby and my folks got home with Joshua and they brought me some chicken noodle soup. I ate a little, went back to bed, puked again at 9:45, then fell asleep. For those of you like numbers, I puked seven times in three different locales! Pretty much the best day of my life.

After a few weeks of this, some pathetic begging and one failed try with medication, my OB finally prescribed me a miracle drug called Zofran. It was amazing and I was able to stop puking and start parenting my two-year-old again when I was about 16 weeks pregnant. Now that I’m a stay-at-home mom, Mondays are pretty much like every other day of the week, but I’ll never forget that record-setting Monday last May!

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