Because potty training is such a major milestone in both a child and a mother’s lives, I’ve decided to regale you with yet another tale from that era of my life. I started potty training Joshua a year ago, when he was about 27 months old. I gave up (the first time) three months later, partly because he just didn’t give a crap (pun intended) WHERE he peed, and he preferred to poop in his pants. Actually, truth be told, he preferred, while we were potty training, not to poop AT ALL, and he became chronically constipated from trying to hold it in for three months! So I set out on a quest to get him regular again. Yes, another thing I can blame myself for: my son’s inability to push one out. Ahh the mother’s guilt! It’s so constant it’s almost comforting….oh wait no it’s not.
To prepare for “Operation: Poopshoot” I went to my favorite book, Toddler 411 and got a list of fun fiber foods to go grocery shopping for. I hit Kroger’s, got the stuff and that evening I was “rewarded” for my efforts with a slightly softer than normal poop from Joshua. I could see that he was going, and he looked at me and he said “It’s ok if I poop in my pants.” (Which is what I had been telling him ever since we ceased potty training. Cause I just wanted him to POOP!) And I said, “It sure is, buddy, you go for it!” So anyhoo, a few minutes later I had to change this bad boy, and it was RANK!! And then I tried to cover it up with Lysol and it almost made it worse! Rank poop mixed with Lysol is just not pretty. Yee-ikes.
The next night, my husband Bobby and I got to “reap the fruits” of his high-fiber diet once again when we were enjoying a family dinner at Boston Market (I was ginomrously pregnant and NOT COOKING at the time) and he LAID ONE ON US. Of course being the stellar parents that we are, we had no diaper bag with us. So then we had to go to Home Depot to get some stuff for the baby’s room and Joshua stunk that place up, and by the time we got home, Bobby’s car was smelling pretty….um…toxic. My husband earned big “Daddy points†by changing that poop when we got home. Here are his comments on that event:
Bobby: “That was the nastiest poop I have ever changed in my life.”
Me: “Was it less hard than usual?” (Meaning: “was it a constipated rock poop?”)
Bobby: “It was very soft, and he pooped through his diaper. And despite my best efforts, I got poop on the floor, on my jeans, and on his jeans. And there’s no way you could’ve changed it without barfing.”
Thus began “The Clean-Out,†as I refer to it. Mmmm…misty water-color memories. After that, Joshua began pooping normally in his diaper for SEVERAL more months until he was finally trained. And by finally, I mean ten months after I originally started training him. As a side note, I’d like to say that Toddler 411 didn’t come out until August 28th, 2006. If it had come out earlier I would’ve realized earlier that Joshua just wasn’t ready for the potty yet. But then I wouldn’t have had such a glorious tale to tell, either
