“Mother of the Year” award slips right through the cracks…

The other night, we took Kate to the high school girls’ basketball game. I thought it would be good for her to see female athletes in action (Jenny stop rolling your eyes!) and all.

When we arrived, Kate and I followed Andy about 3/4 of the way up the bleachers and took a seat. I didn’t think twice about where we were sitting… problem number one. For some reason, Kate was really worried about falling down… as opposed to the last time when we were in that gym, when we couldn’t get her to sit down. I kept telling her not to worry, that there was no way she was going to fall through the bleachers. (My internal dialogue “Famous last words, dummy. But really, who’s ever heard of someone falling through the bleachers?” I don’t think I want to google that and find out.)

So time went on and Kate got a little more comfortable.

A little too comfortable.

But not nearly as comfortable as her cracker-jack parents, who were watching a too much basketball and too little three-year-old.

It took a very calm, very matter-of-fact voice to get my attention.

“Bye, Mommy. Bye, Daddy. I’m falling.”

She was behind us, sitting on the part where feet are supposed to go, with her little legs dangling precariously through the crack, holding onto the row in front of her for dear life.

The next 15 seconds are a blur to me, but Andy and I both grabbed her and pulled her up. She didn’t understand why we were suddenly squeezing the breath out of her.

Andy turned to me and said, “Do not look down. I just did and it made me sick to my stomach.”

I kept thinking about Kate saying “Bye, Mommy. Bye, Daddy. I’m falling” and I was laughing hysterically. It was definitely one of those laugh-to-keep-from-crying moments.

The rest of the night, I kept thinking about what could have happened. I was so thankful to see my little girl sound asleep in her bed.

I also spent the rest of the night mad at myself and Andy… what kind of parents take their child so far up into the bleachers? DUH. Lesson learned, I suppose… but still. Ugh.

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Deck the Halls with OCD

Last night, Kate was dying to decorate the Christmas tree, so Andy hauled in the boxes from the garage and we got to work.

Ok, Kate and I got to work. Andy watched “Shawshank Redemption” in the living room.

He does not like to decorate the Christmas tree. AT ALL. I’ve wondered why for many years, but last night it hit me.

As I may have mentioned, I’m a little neurotic, so as Kate hung ornaments last night, I found myself taking deep breaths and trying not to ruin the whole experience by flipping out about where exactly she hung them. After the first ten few times she responded with “Mommy, I get to hang this wherever I want to” when I calmly suggested an appropriate spot, I realized that this year’s tree wasn’t going to be as, uh, balanced as usual.

After a while, she called Daddy in to help. He, of course, couldn’t refuse such a request, so he joined us. As I packed up the empty boxes and watched them hang the last few ornaments on the tree, I heard Andy’s breathing becoming labored. Then I saw the steam coming out of his ears. And that’s when I figured out why he’s the Ornament Grinch.

You see, Andy’s got about five times the OCD I do. So if he could make sure that an ornament of a two inch diameter could be hung on every third branch, he would be in business. But our ornament collection is rather eclectic and he can’t stand the chaos. Add a three-year-old’s randomness into the mix and we’ve got a recipe for disaster.

He was trying hard to be patient, but I could see he was getting close to the breaking point.

“This is like when she mixes different colors of Play Doh together. You’re just going to have to let this go,” I advised.

A few ornaments later, we were done… and no one was too overly traumatized.

Here’s what our tree looks like in the areas where I hung ornaments.

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Here’s what it looks like where Kate hung ornaments.

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And here’s what I discovered when I looked a little more closely at Kate’s area.

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All of Daddy’s car ornaments are hanging in a row.

Isn’t that cute? Little preschooler OCD.

The apple ornament does not fall far from the tree.

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The other night in the car, we were discussing Mike Tyson’s latest escapades as Kate was singing along to her “High School Musical Two” cd (what time is it? Summa’ time…). I said something about the fact that he was only going to have to spend one day in jail, and Kate piped up from the back seat with…

“Oh God, that is going to be a long day.”

I was too busy cracking up to reprimand her for breaking one of the Ten Commandments.

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