Mommin' It Up!

November 23, 2009November 23, 2009

Disinfectant, Trash Cans, and the Mayor’s Ear

This past Friday, I was already in a bad mood when I got this email from the person who has the unfortunate task of doing PR for Clorox.

jenny clorox wipes
(Thanks to MattressPolice for the enhanced Clorox picture!)

Hello,

I wanted to privately respond to your Nov. 9 “The Great Donut Debacle” post where you mentioned using Clorox wipes on your toddler’s hands and face.

Clorox® Disinfecting Wipes should only be used on hard, nonporous surfaces, as directed on the label. They should be kept out of the reach of children. For more information, please visit www.Clorox.com.

Thank you,
____________, on behalf of The Clorox Company

Needless to say, I was grossly offended. I am not an idiot and I think I made it pretty clear in my post that using Clorox wipes on Sophie’s face was an act of desperation and not something I would normally do.

(Because normally, I would use LYSOL wipes, because that’s all I ever buy because THEY actually put out coupons for their products, have good sales, and incidentally, have never sent me an email asserting that I am STUPID. BOO-YAH.)

No one send me an email about using Lysol wipes, either, please, I swear I only wipe Sophie’s face with baby wipes or good old PAPER TOWELS.

*Anyway* thank you Clorox for reading this here blog.

After that comment on Friday, I was super-excited to get THIS comment on Saturday:

Gary Leitzell says:
November 21, 2009 at 2:23 am

I read your comment. Call 333-TRSH and report the damage to your tote. Let me know if it is not replaced. You can contact me through my blog http://www.daytonmayor.blogspot.com

That’s right, y’all, the newly-elected mayor of Dayton read this blog!!! And commented! I’m guessing he saw his name pop up on a Google Alert which lead him to my rambling, insomniac post about how my trash can was broken and since I voted for him and all, could he please see about getting it replaced? Now, I gotta say, if this is a sign of his concern for the citizens of Dayton in general, I am impressed! But I do have a couple of things to say to him.

jenny and gary copy

*Ahem*
Dear Mayor-Elect Gary Leitzell,
Thank you for reading my blog. I was super-excited to see your comment. Sorry you had to read the part about how I only voted for you because you were the only alternative to the incumbent. But hey, I figure you were happy to take any votes you could get! And normally, you know, I research all candidates more thoroughly, but you NOT being *her* was plenty enough for me on this one.

Now, if I had known before what I know now, that you are a BLOGGER!?! I might’ve campaigned for you even. How cool is that?

Also, sorry that you had to read THAT post. I was having an insomniac moment. I really am a better writer than that. And so is Emily. You MIGHT wanna check out our “Greatest Hits” page next time you stop by. I mean, there are some good posts on there about poop, snakes, coupons, pregnancy, and inbreeding. MUST-READS!

Oh, and, the trash dudes came and looked at our trash can on Wednesday, and they couldn’t fix it. So, we are on a waiting list for a new one. I know you’re not in office yet officially, but if you could somehow shoot us to the top of that waiting list anyhoo, you’d have my undying affection. I might even borderline-stalk you like I used to do to Mike Turner when he was mayor.

Cheers,
Jenny

_____________________

So, moral of the story: sending me an email about how to use your product? BAD! Elected officials responded to citizen’s needs via blog comment? REALLY GOOD!

October 13, 2009October 12, 2009

Almost Famous

itouch
(photo by Tricia’s husband Ben)

The other day, after I helped my famous Uncle Paul set up his new blog, Redneck Latte, (which you should totally go read just as soon as you’re done here, cause he’s hilarious!) he did a very nice thing and ordered me a fruit bouquet. You know, fruit cut to be shaped like like a bouquet of flowers. Which is a genius idea and was very thoughtful of Uncle Paul. The bouquet had cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple, and chocolate-covered strawberries, which I may or may not have immediately eaten five of as soon as I ripped the cellophane off. But anyhoo, after I received it, Uncle Paul called me to tell me he had a very interesting conversation with the woman who worked at the fruit bouquet place. It went something like this:

Fruit Bouquet Lady: What do you want on the card?

Uncle Paul: “Thanks for all your help. U-P”

Fruit Bouquet Lady: What does U-P stand for?

Uncle Paul: Uncle Paul

Fruit Bouquet Lady: Uncle Paul? Like the blog?

Uncle Paul: Uh…yeah. I guess you read Mommin’ It Up?

Fruit Bouquet Lady: Yeah! Did you start your blog yet?

Uncle Paul: Um…yeah. I started it yesterday!

Needless to say, Uncle Paul was pretty stunned. But the point of this conversation is…we’re flippin’ FAMOUS!! Some random lady at the fruit bouquet place READS OUR BLOG! (Please, fruit bouquet lady, step up and identify yourself! We want to know who you are!)

I was so excited about this blogtastic reader sighting that I waited until the next night to tell Emily about it so I could tell her in person. Because we are big dorks, we practically jumped up and down with glee! It is quite gratifying to know that someone other than my mom reads us and knows who we are!

So, since we are like, suuuuper famous and SUCH a big deal, Emily and I decided we really needed to commemorate our fame in a very tangible way. Like by pretending to put our hand prints in the dirt in front of the Tom’s Corn Maze sign, since they haven’t invited us to the Hollywood Walk of Fame yet (although I am checking my email frequently for that invite, ’cause I KNOW it’s coming!)

So next time you see us, if we’re acting like we’re a little big for our britches, well, you’ll know why. Not because I’ve upped my Hershey bar intake or Emily’s fallen off the Weight Watchers wagon. Rather, because of a good old-fashioned ego boost. We’re now pretty much convinced that we are like the First Family of the blogosphere. Kind of like the Baldwin Brothers are in Hollywood, you know. Except we’re female, and we’re cousins, and there’s only two of us, and we’re both successful instead of just one of us…wait…where was I going with this?

Oh, right, we’re COOL! Tell your friends!

September 2, 2009September 1, 2009

For Your Convenience

In case you haven’t marked it on your calendar, I’ll do you a favor and remind you that my 32nd birthday is this Saturday. Now you may not think that 32 is a big deal, but to me, every birthday is a big deal! I loooove my birthday. I think birthdays should be a whole WEEK long. And since today is the first day of September, I figure it’s time to start celebrating! This year I am celebrating that even though I am going to be 32, I don’t look a day over 29-and-a-half. Really, something to jump for joy about!

Because I am a thoughtful person, and because I know you all live busy lives, I have put together a birthday wish list for your convenience. I figure you, as my readers, will be wanting to shower me with gifts, and it would just be easier for you if I tell you what I want. So, here goes.

1) An iPod Touch or an iPhone. Please note I’d only like the iPhone if you’re also willing to pay for the monthly fee it will add to my phone bill.

2) These UltraFit Audrey Slim Leg jeans by Lands’ End. Size 8×30, Rinsed Deep Indigo, please!

3) This Suede Hobo Bag from Lands’ End – LOVE! I would love it in Aztec Gold. But I’ll be flexible. Whatever color YOU think would look best on my shoulder!

4) And just about every sweater Lands’ End has listed. I need to be cozy and cute this winter. So feel free to just go crazy!

5) These Lily flats from Crocs. I NEED these for fall! Size 8, Gold/Chocolate

lilygold

6) As you know I am quite intellectual and love to read. So, there are a couple of books I’d like you to get for me for my birthday: Best Friends Foreverby Jennifer Weiner and Pretty in Plaidby Jen Lancaster (whom I met at BlissDom and semi-stalked at BlogHer.)

7) This Pilates video: I have two others in this series and I really love them. I want this one for when I am ready to step up my exercise a level. (Don’t laugh! It’s not funny! Well, ok, it’s kind of funny. But I’m SERIOUS!)

8 ) And last, but certainly not least, I would like one of you to potty train Sophie for me. That would truly be a PRICELESS gift that keeps on giving! Cause I really, really, REALLY don’t wanna do it. But I also really, really, REALLY don’t want to change her poopy diapers anymore. SO if you could take care of that for me…well that would pretty much be the best birthday ever!

And really, why wouldn’t you want to take hours upon hours to teach this precious child where to deposit her excrement? It’s like I’m giving you a gift!

Ok, 4 more days! Get shopping!! 🙂