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Sleepless in Cousinville

So last night, per usual, I woke up in the middle of ye olde night and couldn’t sleep.  Shocking, I know.  My sleep doctor told me when this happens I should get out of bed and not get back in until I’m really sleepy, so I shuffled wearily into my living room and turned on my laptop.

After chatting with my cousin Donovan, who was also awake at in the middle of the night, on Facebook for a few minutes at about 2:30-2:45,  I clicked over to TweetDeck and lo and behold, saw this tweet from my dear cousin Emily.

So apparently, if you are a first cousin of mine, you may have had trouble sleeping last night!  Emily must have wandered back to her bed, though, cause I got nuttin’ in response to the tweet I sent her:

{crickets}

About 3:30, Sophie started fussing.  I SWEAR to you that girl has “mommy is awake” radar.  So I soothed her and then got back into bed myself, where I had both night sweats and nightmares for a couple hours, until Bobby’s alarm started going off around 5:45.  Apparently I also told him *twice* that he was snoring and to roll over…when he was awake and therefore not snoring.  So all in all, it was a night of delirium, cousinly bonding, and a sad, sad, lack of ice cream (for me).

What were YOU doing in the middle of the night last night?  Wait.  Don’t answer that!

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Tired

I didn’t sleep all that well last night, and I’m not sure why, the usual problems I guess. It’s not like I was up all night, I did get some sleep, but this morning I am so, so tired. So tired I want to cry. I’ve already showered but I just want to climb back in bed and go back to sleep anyway, feel my heavy comforter weigh me down, maybe press me into sleep.

My eyes are heavy, but the truth is, the sad truth, I can’t even fall asleep without medication anymore. Can’t even take a nap. If I were to go back to bed now, it would just result in frustration. And since I need to parent and all, I probably shouldn’t take an Ambien and hit the sheets at 9 a.m.

I am tired and I am tired of being messed up in this way. I’m so frustrated.

Now, off to the coffee pot.

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These Dreams Go On

For years and years, I have had a recurring dream. I guess you could call it a nightmare, because it’s emotionally upsetting, but it’s not filled with zombies or monsters or decapitation.

It’s about not finishing college.

I graduated from college a semester early. I tested out of nine credits, and took six in summer school, and – voila! – early graduation. This was especially exciting to me because Bobby and I were engaged and I really wanted to get married. But I wasn’t going to get married until I got my degree. So, graduating early allowed us to get married a few months earlier. It also saved my parents a bunch of money, and allowed me to take out less student loans. Yippeee!

And of course, opened the door for my subconscious to forever torture me with dreams about not finishing college.

In some of the dreams, I can’t find a particular class. It’s the day of the final and I realize I haven’t been to class all semester. I dash all over campus trying to find a textbook. I spend the dream searching, searching, running, never finding.

In some of them, I can’t find my school mail box at the campus post office, or CPO (read: see-po) as we called it. And of course, in said mailbox is critical info I need to graduate.

This dream I had last night was even weirder and more elaborate. It involved going to church at said college…and church was held in a swimming pool. And apparently it was taking me a real long time to graduate, because I already had Joshua, and somehow he was attending preschool at said college. And, I couldn’t find either one of our mailboxes at the CPO! Then, I got trapped in a class taught by Casey of Moosh in Indy (who was nowhere near my college, I am pretty sure she was still in high school then, the young whippersnapper) which involved her handing out a lot of Shabby Apple dresses to everyone but me, I got a mismatched top and skirt, and the class went over and I was late to pick Joshua up from his college-preschool and I had to leave Casey’s class early which prevented me from…you guessed it…graduating. (Dangit Casey! Cut a girl a BREAK!)

So.

(Quick congrats to Casey Mullins for making my my recurring nightmare!)

I didn’t sleep very well and woke up emotionally distressed. I hate it how dreams feel so real. My emotions were wrenched, my blood pressure high.

Maybe I should dig my diploma out of whatever box it’s buried in and sleep with it under my pillow?

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