Prized Possession

I belong to my family, and they belong to me. But these days, I mostly belong to Sophie. Bobby and Joshua are trying, I think, to be patient until she is ready to let go of me a little. When I enter the room, whether I’ve been gone for two minutes or two hours, she greets me with unbridled joy. She lets out a shriek of glee and then gets to me as fast as she can, throws her arms around my legs, and then tries to climb up my body. If I pick her up, she rubs her face all over my chest. Any reunion, no matter how small the separation, is a reason for her to want to nurse. Last night as I nursed her before I put her to bed, she clutched a section of my hair in a death grip, and after a few minutes I was forced to wrestle my locks loose because she was pulling my head down so hard my neck was killing me. So then she started rubbing the bottom of her warm little foot on my cheek (ah, the flexibility!) while holding my hand. So sweet. So crazy!

Sophie girl, you wear me out. That’s probably an understatement. But tonight, I might just let you hold on to my hair, because I know one day, not too far from from now, I will wistfully long for the days when I was not only your Mommy, but your favorite toy, your plaything, and your prized possession.

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A Month of Sammy

Today is Sam’s one month birthday. Forgive me if this post isn’t as eloquent as the occasion calls for, but I am currently nursing him and typing one-handed on a wireless keyboard that’s about out of batteries and requires me to hit each letter 86 times before it shows up on the screen. Maybe I’ll use text message shorthand. Oh wait, I don’t know any.

I can’t believe he’s a month old already. I scares me how quickly time passes. My maternity leave is 1/4 over… a thought that makes me want to cry.

I have absolutely loved this past month with Sammy. I don’t know if it’s because I’m already used to being a mom or if it’s just the way the hormone cookie crumbled, but this initial post-partum time has been much easier for me than it was the first time around, and I’ve enjoyed it so much more. (Kate, someday when you read this blog, know that it wasn’t you, it was me. Really.)

Sammy has taught us a thing or two during the past few weeks, though, I never dreamed pee could actually travel that far. He’s hit the curtains, the wall, and his parents more times than I can count. He is also quite the spitter. Kate spit up a total of about 4 times in her life, so this is new to us. But Sam spits up all the time. So much so that he’s had two baths today. It’s funny how quickly I’ve become accustomed to being covered in spit up. Actually, since Sam still spends at least part of the night on my chest, some mornings I can’t distinguish the spit up from the pee from the breastmilk that’s covering me. Nice, huh?

It’s been fun, too, to see Kate take on the role as big sister. She’s generally been great about the whole thing, but we’ve had to threaten her with time out if she continues to bother her brother while he’s sleeping. Not that I don’t want her to love on him or anything, but for the love of God leave him alone while he is asleep! But really, it is so sweet to see her want to hold him and help us with his diaper changes and baths. I look forward to seeing them become good friends.

Kate’s take on breastfeeding has been pretty amusing. She called me in her room at 3:00 one morning and said “Mommy, how do you actually make milk for the baby?” She has also offered to “help” feed Sammy by “squeezing out the milk.” She’s anxious to give him a bottle, and I’ve tried to explain that that requires me pumping, so she keeps asking me when I’m going to “put on the machine.”

I don’t know if it’s just that I realize how quickly time passes now that I’ve seen Kate grow up so much in four years, or that, to borrow the phrase from Mom-101, this is baby number last, but I have had a strong desire to spend time with Sam holding him, nursing him, or just looking at him in a way that is new to me. It sounds so corny, but every day has been precious. I love him so much.

And as I got all sentimental there for a second, I look down at him adoringly. He looked up at me and proceeded to up chuck all over my lap. It’s a good thing he’s so cute.

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My question is this…

Is it possible for a mom to enjoy her child’s birthday party?

Because I’m pretty sure the answer is no.

Jenny’s trials and tribulations with baking her kids’ cakes is well-documented, and whenever a child of one of my co-workers celebrates his or her first birthday, the rest of us immediately ask “So at what point did you start crying?” because it’s a sure thing that Mom was in tears before the cake was cut. And I’m not talking the “my baby is growing up” kind of tears… more along the lines of “this whole thing sucks” kind of tears.

Kate’s fourth birthday party was Saturday. It was a very low-key ordeal – cupcakes, ice cream and a pinata at the town playground. Yet I was still so stressed about it. Imagine if my kid was named Suri! Well, then I would have a whole host of problems in addition to a $100k first birthday party, but I digress. Anyway, I was stressing out about not having made a ton of food, not having enough decorations (despite having spent $60 at the party store – how does that happen??), everything not looking cute, making sure everyone had people to talk to, worrying that the pace of the party was too slow… you name it, I was stressing about it.

That night, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. And each and every time I was up in the middle of the night nursing Sammy (and believe me, that is a lot), I was rehashing the party in my mind and finding more things to worry about!! I just had to wonder, is it even possible to enjoy your kids’ parties? I mean, obviously the main numero uno priority is that the kid enjoys the party, but must it be a stress-fest for mom?

In my experience, yes. Stress is a requirement. But someone out there must be able to prove me wrong… or right, as the case may be.

So let’s hear it – either your birthday party horror stories or your tried-and-true ways to make the party fun for everyone (yeah right, I will believe that when I see it).

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