Mommin' It Up!

July 10, 2008July 10, 2008

It’s a Good Thing Drano is so Darn Effective

Earlier this week Emily regaled us with the tale of how she and her family survived her first day back at work after maternity leave. Little did I know that the next day I also would have a harrowing experience to survive. It did not involve the pain of separation from my child, however, but the pain of being with her at the grocery store. It nearly drove me to suicide. But I am getting ahead of myself.

It all started with my bathroom sink. The stupid thing has been threatening to clog for a couple of weeks now, and wouldn’t you know it finally gets up the nerve to go through with it about five hours after my husband goes out of town for work for the week. Soo, bright and early Tuesday morning, the kids and I got ready to go to CVS to score some Drano, among other things. (As a side note, let me set the scene a little more by saying that I recently got my hair cut and for some reason really felt the need to actually style it and wear it down this particular day. Which I had not done in weeks.) Because we certainly would not want to go somewhere else and PAY for our Drano. That would be nuts!! (And as you will see from this story, I am quite rational.) Sophie behaved fairly well at CVS, until checkout time, when, as usual, she decided to try to climb out of the cart. It doesn’t matter whether I have belted her in the front part, or let her sit in the big part, she always tries to climb out. Most of the seat belts in the carts I can’t seem to tighten enough to cut off the circulation in her legs, therefore they are no match for her will to get the hell out of that cart. So, I ended up having to hold her while I was forking over my coupons and ECBs which was very inconvenient.

We made it out of CVS and even though it was already 4,000 degrees at 10:30 a.m. and my lovely hairstyle was making me sweat like a pig, I decided to also go to Kroger while we were out, because we needed bread and fruit and I also wanted to get a couple of good sale items. Oh, and also because I am CRAZY and apparently like to TORTURE myself. I mean really, if I wasn’t so masochistic what would I blog about?

So we went to Kroger. To add to my psychotic behavior, I decided to get my groceries in two transactions so I could use the coupon I’d be getting back on the first order to help pay for my second order. The first transaction was Kool-aid and peanuts. (LOOK, I will explain that on Super Savings Saturday, I swear there is a method to my madness!) When I got to the checkout, Sophie was in the big part of the cart with Joshua and she had a Kool-Aid packet in each hand. I told the cashier that I had 12 Kool-Aid packets and asked her to scan a couple of the other ones twice so I didn’t have to take the packets out of Sophie’s hands and listen to her scream indignantly while I checked out. She obliged and I paid for my order.

Then, as I wheeled my (very heavy with 60 lbs. of kid in it) cart away, I noticed Sophie’s Kool-Aid packets were not looking so hot. I pulled the cart over to discover she had CHEWED through one and was now a very RED little girl. She didn’t get as much on her face as on her hands and ALL over her dress. So I wrestled the packets away and cleaned her up as best I could with a wipe in the steaming hot parking lot. Then I pushed my very heavy cart back into the store. My cute little hairdo was by this time, not cute at all and just making me sweat more.

Sophie gets caught red-handed

Back in Kroger, Sophie was extremely indignant that I was daring to do another transaction. The first thing I picked up was a bunch of bananas, then I got bread. As I made my way down the cereal aisle selecting the right kinds of cereal to go with the coupons I had, Sophie began chewing on the bananas. THROUGH THE BAG. By the time I realized what she was doing, she had bitten off the end of one and there was banana all over the inside of the bag. She threw a nice little fuss when I took the bananas away, then went right for the bread. There was nowhere in the cart I could hide the bread from her, so I just carried the bread. She wasn’t very happy about that either! The lines were really long, and of course as soon as we got in one she started trying to climb out of the cart. Sooo, I wrestled her into the seat part and cinched the belt as tight as I could get it. Fortunately, this belt had enough life left in it and I was able to get it tight enough to keep her seated. Unfortunately, it is considered inhumane to muzzle your child, so I and everyone within a 5-lane radius got to hear her scream while I checked out. After getting my sweet deals, my demon, my angel (Joshua – I haven’t mentioned him because he was so good!) and I once again headed to the parking lot, where, after getting the kids and groceries into the car, I collapsed into a pile of sweaty, puffy-haired frustration.

When we got home, I relayed the events of our trip to Emily over IM. (Thank GOD she went back to work and got back on Instant Messenger!! ABOUT TIME!) Then I realized that in my frazzled state I hadn’t yet poured the Drano down the bathroom sink. “I’m going to go put the Drano in the sink,” I IMed her, “and if it doesn’t work, I think I’ll just drink the rest of the bottle!”

Lucky for you, the Drano worked, and I’m still alive. ‘Cause seriously, if I kicked it and Emily had to maintain this blog all by herself? That would be the real tragedy in all of this!

(P.S. if you made it through all that, do me a favor and check out my latest review at Reviewin’ It Up!)

July 8, 2008

We Survived

Yesterday was my first day back at work, and all four of us lived to tell about it. Barely. Getting up at 5:30 was AWESOME, let me tell you.

Once I got to work, I was immediately overwhelmed by the piles of stuff on my desk and the 1811 emails in my in-box. And before I could sort through much at all, it was time for a staff meeting. Take it from me – do not go back to work on the day of a staff meeting. Between that and not knowing when and where I was going to pump, I was pretty much ready to jump out the window. Actually I think my 11:00 IM to Jenny was something along the lines of “I hate this!” It got a little better as the day went on, though. Lunch with my friend at our favorite Mexican restaurant was nice, and the afternoon was too busy to be upset.

Andy, Sam and Kate did well together yesterday… they walked to the park and the library, which wore Kate out enough to actually take a nap. Sam, after some initial resistance, took his bottles well, and only had four during the time I was gone. That seems like a managable amout to pump, so I am feeling good about that at least.

All and all, it wasn’t quite as awful as I had expected, although I did miss them terribly. Yesterday also confirmed some things I had been contemplating before I left to have Sam, and I am more sure now than ever that it’s time to make some changes in my working life, and while I don’t really know what direction I want to go or exactly how to make it happen, I feel ready to take action and start to figure out what I really want to be when I grow up.

Thanks for all the support I received on all of my “But I don’t want my maternity leave to be over!” posts. I truly appreciate it!

July 7, 2008July 7, 2008

What Keeps You Up at Night?

I don’t sleep very well. I don’t have insomnia, and I usually don’t have too terrible of a time falling asleep, but I have a hard time staying a asleep and I dream, dream, dream all night.

So, I don’t sleep very well, due to some as-yet-undiagnosed problems. But you know what? As contradictory as this may sound, not much keeps me up at night.

I didn’t used to be this way. Falling asleep used to be very difficult for me. My mind would race, refusing to shut down. I worried long and hard while I longed to sleep. It was very frustrating but I couldn’t stop my anxieties from whispering in my ear while I tried to wind down. I worried about money and work, mostly. You see, I never did love being a working girl. (Not that kind of working girl! I know you were thinking it, Jill!!) The seven or so years I had a career, I didn’t enjoy all that much. Even though I loved the last job I had before I started staying home, I didn’t love the responsibility that went with it. Having a family, I felt, was truly all the responsibility I could handle. But I am a person who wants to give her all and excel at all that is entrusted to her. It was excruciatingly difficult for me to work, even part-time, and have a family, because I wanted to do both perfectly.

But I am getting off-topic. About two years ago, I met my best friend Luanne. We met at church and she soon invited me to a Bible study she hosted in her home. One of those very first nights at her home, I heard her say the words, “I don’t really worry about anything. Not much keeps me up at night.”

My jaw about hit the floor. I asked her to clarify. Worrying was second nature for me. I had to try NOT to worry, and I almost always failed.

She simply replied that since she had given her life to God, she was his, and so were her problems. “He’s my provider,” she said, “and he has never let me down. Lots of people in my life have let me down. Not God. Not ever.”

I had, at this point, been a Christian most of my life, about 20 years, and I had never truly realized that God is my provider. Maybe it is because my life had been pretty “easy”. Isn’t that crazy? I think I felt that I needed to make all the right decisions in life and that by doing so I could control my fortunes. But all that “being in control” brought me were struggles and sleepless nights.

After that night, I began working on simply trusting God to provide for my family’s needs. It is harder than it sounds, for a professional worrier like me. A few months later, for a lot of reasons, Bobby and I decided I would quit my job. When you looked at the math, it didn’t seem possible. However, we both really felt it was what God wanted. So we took the leap of faith and I quit! And guess what? We have wanted for nothing. Because even though it didn’t look like it was possible, with God, EVERYTHING IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE!! We aren’t exactly rollin’ in the dough, but we have everything we need, and all our bills have been paid. God is so good! He has been so gracious also to bring couponing into my life. I know that sounds nerdy, but before I started couponing, I was never able to give things to others. Now I get to give simple, every day necessities to friends, family, complete strangers, and charitable organizations – with little or no cost to me – while also providing for my family’s needs. How amazing is that? What a gift!

I know that I usually don’t blog on spiritual subjects, but if I can share with you all the frequency of my children’s bowel movements and regurgitations, I think I should be able to share with you that I am a follower of Christ! Because if you don’t know that about me, you really don’t know where I’m coming from. Whether I am writing about breastfeeding or barfing, I am always writing as a hopelessly flawed person whose life has been completely redeemed by Jesus Christ.

All that to say that two years after Luanne’s words about worry shocked me, I’ve grown in my faith, and honestly, besides some silly dreams, not much keeps me up at night. I can’t begin to express how thankful I am for that fact.

So tell me, friends and neighbors, what keeps you up at night?