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My Baby’s at School

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I just got home from dropping Joshua off at kindergarten. He did SUCH a great job. Miraculously, neither of us cried. His only wavering moment was when we said a quick goodbye. He said, “But who will tell me what to do?”

“Mrs. Krumlauf will,” I reassured him, and Bobby and I got while the getting was good.

But we didn’t want to leave him.

Fortunately, his classroom has two windows that sappy parents like us can peer through, and his desk was positioned so that he had his back to us, so we watched him as long as we could.

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If I could, I’d watch him all day! I’m going to miss him so much today, my little boy. How can I leave him with someone else for 6.5 hours a day? Who will make sure he eats enough bites of his fruit and CHEWS for that matter at lunchtime? What if he can’t get his pants snapped after going to the bathroom? What if another kid HURTS HIS FEELINGS??? I can’t take it.

But I guess I have to.

Joshua is the kind of kid who will love, love, LOVE school, and do well at it. I know he is ready, and I am SO proud of him. But dangit, I am gonna miss havin’ this sweetheart little guy home with me every day. Wouldn’t you?

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Commence Freaking Out in 5…4…3…2…

You’ll have to excuse me and Jenny for the next few days if we seem even crazier than normal (are you scared yet?), because next week…

Our babies start kindergarten.

I’m not sure how it happened, because really it was not very long ago that they looked like this:
kate and joshua babies

They’ve grown so much since then, and even though Jenny and I (ok, mostly Jenny) are bound to be a nostalgic, weepy mess in the coming days, we are both so, so proud of these two kids. We are so thankful that we’ve had the opportunity to watch them learn and grow in the last five and a half years.

And we are absolutely confident that they are ready for the next step of their journey.

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Those two? They will do great.

The two of us? That remains to be seen.

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Changed

“It’s like I’m walking on snowshoes,” I said groggily to my husband one night. Joshua was six weeks old, and we’d just moved him out of the bassinet in our bedroom and into his crib in the nursery. When I’d walk down the short hallway in the middle of the night to nurse him, I felt I could only shuffle. My feet felt weird. “It’s like I’m walking on snowshoes,” was the only way I could think to describe it, even though I’d never actually walked on snowshoes before. In addition to the “weird” feeling in my feet, the pain and tingling in my knees and on the tops of my feet that I’d had during pregnancy (and attributed to weight gain) hadn’t gone away yet.

Exhausted and exasperated, I went to my family doctor. She had me stand up and take my shoes and socks off.

“Have your feet always been flat?” She asked.

“Uh, I don’t think so.” I replied.

“Well, they are really flat. Looks like your arches probably fell while you were pregnant. That’s what’s been causing all your pain and tingling.”

Oh, flat. Flat like snowshoes, would you say?

It was then and there in that doctor’s office that I came to the realization that after having a child, I would never be the same. It would not just be the long scar at the bottom of my abdomen that would mark me as having given birth. There were many things about me that would be irreversibly altered.

My first baby melted my heart and flattened my feet. My second melted my heart and curled my hair.

They have both made me so much better than I was.

How have your children changed you?

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