Posted on by Jenny

My Weaner Has a First Name

As I write this, I am sitting on my couch listening to my daughter Sophie chatter over the baby monitor. She is in her crib, but it’s not nap time. She’s there because she wants to nurse, and I want to wean her, and I don’t know what else to do with her. Sometimes she’ll be distracted by a snack, a toy, or a TV show, but this afternoon she’ll have none. She has nursed three times today (it’s about 4:00 P.M.now) and that is the best we’ve ever done. The girl is 21 months old now, and it is beyond time for us to be done nursing. Because before two weeks ago when I really started to try to wean her, Sophie nursed not just in the morning, not just at night, not just at nap time, but whenever she wanted to. Her average was probably 8-10 times a day. It’s just crazy, and exhausting, and as much as I have loved nursing my child, and as much as I have talked about weaning her but not ever done anything about it, I am now READY. Over the past two weeks I’ve really been able to cut back, but the past two days haven’t been so hot. So today I’m trying so hard to stick to my guns.

But I’m sitting here crying on the couch. Nothing feels good or right about any of this. Being a human pacifier didn’t feel good or right, having Sophie try and pull my shirt up in public – definitely not good or right. Having her fuss and climb all over me and having to put her to bed because she wants to nurse and I won’t let her – doesn’t feel good or right either. Now it’s 4:17, and I can’t leave her up there forever!

If someone could please give me a “Magic Weaner” button, that would be super. The process is wearing me down. If I could just wake up tomorrow and be over this hurdle, I’d be one relieved mama.

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16 Replies to “My Weaner Has a First Name”

  1. I’m so sorry! I wish you the best of luck. Weaning my son was harder on me than on him. He was only 12 months, though. I know it has to be a lot harder on you, since she’s older. I hope someone offers you some advice.

  2. I know how hard this is for you, but remember you can be strong and go for it, bc she will never remember a thing. She won’t remember being in that crib wanting to nurse, but mean mommy won’t let me. In the future, she will remember know that her immune system is a force field and she has this unexplainable bond with her wonderful mommy. Good Luck, on day at a time.

  3. Hi Jenny,
    I had to cold turkey it with Cara when she was 10 months old b.c. of some medicine I had to take for a rash all over my body. That was really, really hard, but I just had to and it wasn’t as horrible as I thought. I don’t know if it can be done with an older little one?? I need to go cold turkey with Abby and her precious “Ba Ba” soon, but it’s hard. It’s her comfort.
    Maybe you could leave her with your Mom for the weekend :).
    Keep your chin up and have a good day!!
    Jeni

  4. Hi! I don’t know if you’re looking for advice, but I can tell you distraction is the key. I know it’s no fun to be out and about all day (for a couple of days), but being out of the routine is very helpful. Or when you’re at home and she wants to nurse, get up and go for a walk or give her a bath, if these are feasible. Good luck, and you’ll see, she won’t remember a thing. And if she’s like any of my four boys, she’ll sleep better at night, too!

  6. The only thing I can offer is ‘this too shall pass’ – once it is over it is like so many other tough milestones (potty training, anyone?), just a distant memory!

    I will be thinking of you both!

    Hang in there, and remember that there is nothing like a good cry (or chocolate).

  8. Hang in there! I’m just coming round to the idea that I’m ready to be done with nursing. I’m planning on making the week of thanksgiving the week to give up night nursing and have Daddy put her to bed and comfort her in the night. I never dreamed that I’d be able to nurse this long with the supply issues I had, so I’m actually pleased that I’ll probably end up nursing about 2 years. As much as I’ve enjoyed it, I need my supportive bras back. These nursing bras just aren’t cutting it.

    I’ve heard others suggest taking sudafed to help the milk supply reduce. I’ve also heard about rubbing a bit of vit E oil (the kind that can be taken internally from the vitamin section) on your nipples because it won’t hurt them, but does not taste good.

  9. It is so frustrating I know. My girl is also 21 months. I finally got her to only nurse at night, but it took persistence. Basically I used distraction or told her “all gone” during the day. At nap time she ended up crying / fussing for about 20 minutes for a couple of days. She knows that the only time she gets to nurse now is at bedtime. We also bought a couple of themed insulated sippy cups and set it where she could get them easily throughout the day. Just rinse and refill every couple of hours with fresh milk, now she asks for it bc we now keep it in the fridge. I also learned to not relapse. Once I took her to grandma’s to b-sit at naptime and I couldn’t get her to go to sleep, so I resorted to nursing. Big mistake, we were back at square one. The next day she wanted to nurse again at naptime. It took another 2-3 days of letting her cry / fuss herself to sleep. I am hoping to quit the night time nursing soon, just not sure how yet. With my son, I had him stay with my mom for 3 nights, but he was used to falling asleep there, since I was taking night classes for college then. My girl has not stayed anywhere else though, so it may be up to dad or letting her cry when I get ready to quit totally.
    Good luck!

  11. Bless you both! And dittoing the need for distraction. AND, I don’t mean for this to sound callous, but is there a chance you can get away for an overnight or two, and leave Sophie with your husband and maybe a grandma? It would help loosen the grip of habit a little bit–my two year-old was content to nurse once a day (in the morning) after my hubs and I went away for a long weekend.

    She’ll be happy and have a great time with a new routine/new caregiver, and it sounds like you could use a break! Best of luck and hang in there.

  12. I was once told that you can break any habit in three days if you stick to it and don’t give in. So, just stick it out for three days…we can do anything for three days, right??? I had a similar issue with my daughter and her bottle. Cold turkey was the way to do it. We had a rough couple of days, but it was well worth it! Good luck!

  13. I did take allergy medicine (sudafed) to help with my allergy and sinus issues. It TREMENDOUSLY reduced my supply, which made the girls not so interested in me!

    By the way

    HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY! Here’s to your last day of being THIRTY – tomorrow is a new number!

  14. i was thinking…. i am not sure what all passes through to breast milk.. but may be it is the Mt. Dew??? sopie just could be just as addicted to it as you are???
    she’s just like her momma

  15. Sorry, I wasn’t a nurser, so I don’t have any words of wisdom to impart here. I am however, getting quite a chuckle from the “magic weaner” part. Is that the male counterpart to the “easy button”?

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