Wednesday I had an unhappy mid-afternoon surprise: after 19 long, glorious months, my period had returned. Nine months of pregnancy (ok, those months weren’t exactly glorious) and ten months of nursing had kept my little red friend away, but as of Wednesday, my luck has run out.
My uterus is PISSED, y’all. For two days now she’s been putting up quite a fuss. Cramping and flooding and pouring out her wrath upon me and the sad bottle of ibuprofen that is all I can take for this mess since I’m still nursing. She actually chuckles sarcastically at me when I pick up the bottle of ibuprofen, but I’m taking them anyways, just to take the edge off. Oh, if only I didn’t have these two pesky kids I could curl up in the fetal position and wait for the storm to blow over. But alas, I must parent in spite of my enraged womb.
Crap!
The Angry Uterus is also (strangely) the Hungry Uterus. I just went to the market down the street to get just bread and I came home with bread, chocolate milk, Hershey’s syrup, Jell-o Puddin’ Pops (my childhood favorite!), and one of those Betty Crocker single-serve desserts you make in the microwave. Molten Chocolate Cake. Ohhhh yeah. That baby is as good as GONE as soon as I put Joshua down for a nap!
So, apparently the Uterus likes chocolate. I think I remember that from 19 months ago…
Ok, Joshua is down for nap. It’s eating time! Me & my PO’ed Uterus will talk to you later.
I feel you painr…literally! My period returned on your 30th b-day (which was also our 9 year anniversary…no celebrating that night!). It had been almost 16 months since I’d had one and forgot how horrible they could be. The cramps were so much worse than normal and the bleeding was so bad that I actually had to stop my shopping trip to Wal-mart in order to purchase new undies due a leakage issue. Thankfully the worst was over before we left for our vacation 3 days later. It almost makes me want to get pregnant again just to avoid having a period for awhile. J/k! If my husband ever read this, he would have just passed out. =)
Found your blog through Sandra (Diary of a sahm) Glad I did! This post is too funny. I can so relate. Well last year but I’m still having nightmares about it!
I FEEL YOUR PAIN!
Due to some medication I’m on, mine are very light and very infrequent, but my dd started hers recently. I just bought her some Lunapads (www.lunapads.com) and I’m seriously considering the Diva Cup. (www.divacup.com) After 6 weeks of research (lots of google blog searches) I can’t find anyone who doesn’t love their Lunapads and Diva Cup. And I mean love love love them! As an added benefit, I’ve heard the Diva Cup practically gets rid of cramping!
Email me if you have any questions.
I take the minipill without a break–haven’t had a period in 4 years!
Oh yes, I remember how upset I was when mine came back only 7 months after my youngest was born – I was expecting the 11 months it took when my 2nd daughter was born! Not fair… 🙂
There’s something for you two over on my site – come over and pick it up! 🙂
The pain is crazy eh? Mine came back when Micah was 4 months old and now it’s every 2 months. My husband is quick to remind me that they are 8 DAYS LONG now instead of 3. *sigh* such is life. =) I’m surprised you don’t have a name for UTERUS besides “the UTERUS”! Not that I have a name for mine but it just sounds like you would. ha!
First of all, I am not a mother, but an older woman (39). I went off the pill because my boyfriend and I decided to use other methods of birth control. I bleed like a stuck pig now, and I get very, very, emotional when my “friend” comes along every month. I want to stab everyone in the eye with a pencil. But, I figure that I should not put these hormones in my body? I have to control my raging bitch tendencies.
Ohhhh, that first one back is a killer. You have my deepest sympathies. Eat another Puddin’ Pop on me.
I just vomited on my keyboard.
My uterus likes chocolate too. We’ll see just how much when my period returns….