How am I a bad mother? Let me count the ways…every day I have a new reason to feel sorry for my kids because of the coo-coo nuts that is their mother. Here’s today’s reason: Every time I hear Joshua say, “Mama, watch this!†I want to KILL MYSELF. Now before you send me hate mail, I don’t really want to kill myself, and I think suicide is terrible. I’m just being overdramatic.
But seriously, if I hear him say it one more time today I am gonna drive ballpoint pen into my jugular like I saw Sydney Bristow do to so many bad guys on Alias.
Joshua is super-cute, smart, and funny, and he does a lot of cute things that I like to see. WHEN IT’S CONVENIENT. The problem is he only says those three little words when it is impossible or very inconvenient for me to pay attention to his particular feat. He nearly always says it when I’ve just told him that I need to leave the room. For example:
Me: Joshua, I’m going to go downstairs to put the laundry in the dryer. Ok? (I turn on my heel to leave.)
Joshua: Ok. Mama, watch this!
If I don’t come back and acknowledge his deed, (usually something dumb like jumping up and down), he gets very upset. And I’m already upset with him for purposefully stopping me – because he does do it on purpose. Apparently all the time we’ve spent together preceding my need to leave his side was not sufficient for his little ego. So it’s just a bad state of affairs.
Other situations in which he is fond of saying, “Mama, watch this!â€, or my other favorite, “Watch this, Mama!†include while I am driving (I know, I’m a jerk. Why don’t I just pull over and watch whatever he wants to show me?), when I am elbow-deep in a Sophie stinky diaper, and when I am trying to clean up. I hear it constantly when I am going back and forth from the dining room to the kitchen, clearing the table. He’s like a broken record. It makes me…CRAZY!!!
Today I heard it so many times (I’m trying to clean for a Mommies’ Night In I am having at my house Friday) I had to hit Tim Horton’s for a café mocha and a cookie stress reliever (I agree with Kate) to keep from giving Joshua Shaken Preschooler Syndrome (No, I don’t abuse my children. No hate emails on that one either please! Get a sense of humor!!)
But seriously I was about to lose it. Day after day after day of hearing it 386 times in an afternoon, and I’m inching dangerously close to checking in at Club Nutjob.
And really, it’s when he doesn’t know I’m watching that he does the things worth remembering.
So anyways. There you have it. I need to start saving now for Joshua’s therapist. Thank God for BlogHerAds.
Only 482 reasons why you’re a Bad Mom? Ack – someone give this woman an award.
You have the courage to admit what most of us mommies are thinking! =)
I hear ya!!! I have a 3.5 yr old myself and he does the same thing…when I have time for him he wants nothing to do with me and when I need to do anything else it’s mom, mom, mom!!!! Let me know your solution if you find one!!!
Girl, I know EXACTLY what you mean. It’s maddening. Cute kids and all, but geez. It gets annoying.
In fact, this summer I wrote a post called Maawwhhhmmm! You have GOT TO read it (http://www.valuewit.com/2007/07/mawhm.html)
Ha! I was ironing yesterday and my son was jumping from the mini trampoline to my bed over and over, and yelling, “Watch this, Mommy!” I told him that ironing is like driving: when I’m doing it, I can’t look at you (I have the burn scars to remind me of this in case I want to chance it.) So he turns to Daddy: “Watch this, Daddy!” Daddy says, “You know how Mommy can’t watch you when she’s driving or ironing? Daddy can’t watch you when he’s playing Madden.” Um, not quite in the same category, ya think?
OMG i know just how you feel my son just turned 3 and I have a one month old and I know alot of his issues is that the new baby gets all the attention… and instead of me relaxing when she is sleeping I get him and play or watch his favorite cartoon scooby doo… then most the time when his sister goes to sleep he wants nothing to do with me or he wants to wake her up and hold her and try to play with her… so yea I know how you feel… I feel like all I do is tell him leave her …alone let her sleep .. or something along those line… then of course he gets mad and wants nothing to do with me… lol…
You are too funny. Shaken Preschooler Syndrome… HAHA!
Whoops, I meant to say, what are you talking about!? You terrible mother! No other mother EVER feels that way!! 😉
Um, yeah, I think you’re about as normal as they come!
Jane, Pinks & Blues
You are preaching to choir, my friend. Can I get an amen? How can someone I love SO much stomp all over my last nerve every single day and expect to survive? It boggles the mind…
I wish I could tell you it gets easier but I can’t!
Amelia is almost 11 and I swear this child is so demanding of my time. She needs me to pay EXTRA SPECIAL attention to her on a daily basis and I hate to admit this but I get tired!
Sometimes I feel like they don’t like me to have my own time & space just for me!
It’s just the age, right? PLEASE tell me it’s just the age. My daughter is 3 1/2 and she is EXACTLY the same way, and most often it’s some dumb thing that she just made up AFTER she’s asked me to watch her. I love her to pieces, but sometimes I just want to go to pieces. Sigh…Fortunately, they’re so dang cute!
Our saying is GUESS WHAT. Yes, I have started replying CHICKEN BUTT everytime I hear it. That’s my 12,752 of why I am a bad mom. Or, “Mom, guess what they just did on Hannah Montana (or whatever show is on Disney Channel).” If I wanted to know what just happened I’D WATCH IT MYSELF. Number 12,753.
Ahhh, why do we EVER feel alone in this motherhood thing?? We are all so in it together!! And unfortunately, I don’t think it’s just this age. My 7 year old is worse than my 4 year old. And yes, it’s always when I’m busiest. Never, no, never when I’m sitting still with nothing to do….oh, wait, that never happens. Girls, the secret to getting time alone for yourself is to LEAVE THE KIDS WITH DAD and GO GET COFFEE by yourself! Yehaw!
Ahhh, I can taste that latte now!
You should totally be Sydney Bristow for Halloween. You could pull it off.
I am SO looking forward to this stage!!
I loved this blog. A real mom talks like you do! We all have those moments when we are at our wits end. Sometimes I want to run out of the house if I hear someone say Mommy again. But when they are sleeping aren’t they angels 🙂