Over the last six months or so, Andy and I have had a visitor in our bedroom almost every night. He visits three or four times a night, waking us up, clobbering us with his knees and elbows, and generally preventing all of us from getting a good night’s sleep.
His name is Sam and it’s a good thing he’s cute.
We didn’t go through this with Kate, so this is new territory for me. (Not completely new, actually – I now realize why my parents had a king-sized bed. Sorry about that, Dad.) Anyway, I don’t know what to do about this visitor.
I have really mixed thoughts and emotions about it, because part of me wants to let him crawl in bed with us whenever he needs comfort.
The other part of me just wants to get some damn sleep already.
Sometimes we let him in bed with us and take him back to his room when he falls asleep (rinse and repeat three or four times each night), sometimes we let him in bed with us and we all manage to stay asleep the rest of the night. Sometimes we send him straight back to his room. Sometimes we put him on the chaise lounge in our room and let him sleep there.
None of these feel like the right thing to do, though, but I’m not sure how to handle this.
Help me out, please! Have you had late-night visitors as well? If so, how did you handle it?
I’m sure I have a blog about this in the archives somewhere, but Joshua did this to us until he was about 5 & a half. Somehow it just stopped after kindergarten, I can’t remember why. But I doubt us being strong-willed and tough parents had anything to do with it. Good luck!
Also when I read this post title, I thought it was going to be about your neighborhood four-wheeler enthusiasts!
My 3 1/2 year old has never, ever been a good sleeper. Sometimes it’s hard to get him to bed at night and then sometimes he gets up a lot at night. But consistency is key. I will not let him get in our bed and I will not sleep with him. He tries both and has even told me he’s not going back to sleep! I just put him in bed and I go back to bed. And he goes back to sleep. Now my husband will let him sleep with us or he will sleep in Mason’s bed. So I’m usually the bad parent telling them both no!
Just be consistent! And believe me, I know it’s hard when all you want is some sleep!
I think it is high time Sam gets his own apartment.
Word!
Donovan would crawl in bed with us. How he managed to get one foot under my chin and one in my back is beyond me…I just kept returning him to his bed, I think the scowling helped keep him there.
UP
Molly stays in bed unless she wets, which is very rare these days. But the getting to sleep can be a 2-3 hr process some nights. We are not good at being consistent, because we’re not very good at being consistent with ourselves! Didn’t you just get Sam into his big bed? We’ve just transitioned Molly and that was when all these sleep problems started. If I could put her back in that crib I would! I am no help.
We had the same problem with our 3 1/2 year old. We made her a deal. If she could stay in her own bed, she would earn a star. Once she earned 14 stars (2 weeks), she could go to Toys R Us to pick out a new toy. We would make a congratulate her every morning and talk about how she was one star closer to her new toy then we would talk about it every next to remind her of her goal. Yes — we bribed our child but it worked.
We keep a pillow and blanket next to the bed in case one of the kids is truly scared, but they are not allowed in our bed. I need my space!
I have a strict “no kids in mom and dad’s bed” rule. Be firm and kick him out!
How do I deal with it? I’ve thrown in the towel….or raised the white flag of surrender…whatev.
I so wish I could just say I’m just one of those granola attachment moms who believe the family bed is nourishment to the soul, but no, I’m just too freaking tired to care.
The biggest piece is to be consistent, no matter which path you and hubby chose to follow. From a psychological standpoint, after age 2, attachments are either secure or insecure already, and it’s best for his future sense of self to sleep by himself…hope this helps!
Oh I feel for you! If nothing is actually wrong, and they are just “awake” I let our kids sleep on our floor. Our almost 2yo I would let sleep in our bed for awhile, but when I hit 8months pregnant, it just wasn’t possible for us anymore. Being near mom and dad sometimes is all they need.
We’re going through a pretty rough patch with our 2yo right now. She has a really hard time sleeping in her own bed, and wants to sleep on TOP of me! I would love to give her that cuddle time, but she also needs to learn good sleep habits.
That is why we have a king sized bed too and my parents also did when I was little. I needmy sleep too and once i’m up it takes me forever to get back to sleep so letting her in when she needs it works best for us.
This happened to us a few months ago (http://www.evanhaslanded.com/a-sleepy-situation/) , and we got to the point that we had a bed on the floor with so that we all could get some sleep. Once he started sleeping through the night again we moved him back downstairs to his room. We also found out that him listening to music before he went to bed DID NOT work for us. Once we took the cd player out of the room, he started sleeping much better. Good luck.
Had the same problem with my youngest. For sometime, we brought his bed to our room since he was there almost every night! Then later on were able to convinced him that he has to stay at his brother’s room. Thanks to my elder son, because he was very cooperative with us.
Let him share a room with his sister for a while. This worked for both of our kids. It seemed like one of them was in our bed every night. We put them in the same room and it stopped immediately. I think they were just lonely and need company.
My youngest is terrible. He hates to sleep alone. He is almost 7 and would sleep with us every night if we let him. Seven and still does not sleep thru the night most the time. If I hear him come in I tell him he is to old to sleep with us. We have a king size bed but he has to touch and he sweats and I cant sleep. If he sleeps with his brother or sister then he will stay. I dont know why he hates sleeping alone in his bed and I dont know why at almost seven he doesnt sleep thru the night. Let me know if you find an answer. Sorry I cant offer you any hope of a quick solution.
Sorry I am WAY BEHIND….We had this problem with Evan it lasted 2 years. Yes you read that 2 years. It got to the point that I had an extra bed in my room at one point another time I put an extra bed in the play room. NO JOKE. At first I truly believe he was scared. The kids were upstairs and we were on the main level. I will give it to him. But finally I realized. He had kicked either me or my husband out of our bed and he had taken over OUR PLACE. WHAT THE HECK…(YUP it took me 2 years to realize this one. I am quick one). Tough love and tears from all members. Lots of foot stomping , tears from all members of the household, and caring a child BACK AND FORTH ALL NIGHT LONG FOR A FEW NIGHTS. He finally go the clue. Mommy and Daddy’s room is reclaimed for them. We no longer let ANY child sleep in our bed for ANY REASON. PERIOD. If they want to sleep downstairs they can either sleep on the floor and who wants to do that or sleep on the couch. THAT CAN ONLY BE DONE ON THE WEEKENDS or during storms. Kids have nightmares that is understood there are ways to make them safe without giving up your bed.