Changed

“It’s like I’m walking on snowshoes,” I said groggily to my husband one night. Joshua was six weeks old, and we’d just moved him out of the bassinet in our bedroom and into his crib in the nursery. When I’d walk down the short hallway in the middle of the night to nurse him, I felt I could only shuffle. My feet felt weird. “It’s like I’m walking on snowshoes,” was the only way I could think to describe it, even though I’d never actually walked on snowshoes before. In addition to the “weird” feeling in my feet, the pain and tingling in my knees and on the tops of my feet that I’d had during pregnancy (and attributed to weight gain) hadn’t gone away yet.

Exhausted and exasperated, I went to my family doctor. She had me stand up and take my shoes and socks off.

“Have your feet always been flat?” She asked.

“Uh, I don’t think so.” I replied.

“Well, they are really flat. Looks like your arches probably fell while you were pregnant. That’s what’s been causing all your pain and tingling.”

Oh, flat. Flat like snowshoes, would you say?

It was then and there in that doctor’s office that I came to the realization that after having a child, I would never be the same. It would not just be the long scar at the bottom of my abdomen that would mark me as having given birth. There were many things about me that would be irreversibly altered.

My first baby melted my heart and flattened my feet. My second melted my heart and curled my hair.

They have both made me so much better than I was.

How have your children changed you?

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11 Replies to “Changed”

  1. I have realized I get sick so much quicker. In fact I wrote an entire post on how my immune system will never be the same. But I’m ok with it :). Totally worth every sniffle and ache.

  2. Ellie has changed me in a lot of HUGE ways, but here’s a minor example of something that’s different about me: I have found I can no longer read or watch the news. Every story about a kid being mistreated makes me cry. Those stories were tough enough to read before — now they break my heart.

  3. Physically, I ache more – my joints kill me. That hasn’t gone away since I was pregnant with Evan.
    But it is amazing to see how kids change every aspect of your previous life that you had without them.
    I laugh more, cry more and hug more! The little lives that depend on us definitely make us more human!

  4. My feet did something similar after this pregnancy (my second full term). I also have back issues now. I try not to get discouraged because we want more kids, but sometimes it hurts to stand up and walk!

  5. I’ve always been more of a naturally shy person. But ever since my first was born 8 years ago, I’ve found that when it comes to dealing with an issue that involves my kids, I can be much more bold and willing to speak up if something involves their welfare. I’m the voice for not only myself now, but for my children. I love the confidence that having children has given me.

  6. I second what Kelly said…not a very confrontational kinda girl, but when it comes to my kids, I don’t mess around.

    Also, my idea of a little R&R is so much different than it used to be. Whenever I am driving somewhere by myself for a change, I will purposefully leave the music off and revel in the silence. And going to the pool has been “life-guard duty” for the last 7 years, so if I get even 1/2 hour alone poolside, it is glorius! And the time I get the most re-charged is a simple, but oh-so-needed, night out with my girlfriends!

  7. Giving away 20 pair of very nice shoes was one of the worst times of my post-preggo period. I cried.

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